MIL and the Christmas stocking

Nope.

You do Christmas your way and dh needs to make that clear. The stocking is from granny. She can NOT relive any of this by hijacking your special moments op. You will never have these days back again, the resentment will be huge when you realise how precious they are.

Put your foot down. The answer is no. She has had her time and can’t take yours.

If MIL is lovely, she wouldn't mind a quick call to say you don't mind the stocking but would she mind terribly buying one for baby too and putting any old stuff in it - nice big pack of nappies and some wipes? Becuse you're worried DD may be upset.
Growing up, we had grandparents bring stockings from Santa when they visited and I LOVED it. Becuse in my mind they had cared enough to write tosanta in my behalf and ask him to bring stuff!

What a storm in a teacup. Having a second stocking takes nothing away from the first one.

I agree, stocking from FC, and mil’s stocking from Grandma.

If mil insists it’s also from FC, then you need to explain to dd that grandma missed you opening the presents from the big man, so wanted you to have another stocking so she join in the fun of sticking presents. Set your boundaries now.

Is the stocking an additional present for dd, compared to ds? If so, unless ds is a 6’ 5”, 21 year old, then you need to step in and get this situation sorted.

Yes context matters, of course, and if this were against the background of a controlling/domineering/otherwise dysfunctional dynamic, my answer would've been quite different.

However there's no indication here that there are any issues - OP has stated that MIL is fundamentally nice and is just excited.

Hopefully it'll all work out perfectly well! 🎄

My MIL is a bit like this and you do question yourselves as to whether you're overreacting. My MIL is lovely but oversteps. She's had her time with her 4 children with birthdays, Christmas and concerts etc that I try and keep her at arms length with things like this as I want it to be special for my and my husband.

I would say in front of her when she brings it in that the presents are from the grandmother before she even has a chance to say anything.

Yes this is important to remember too. Children will take the lead from the adults around them and are very good at glossing over inconsistencies/filling in gaps.

It really doesn't matter too much!

DH and I visited 5 year-old DGC at their house on Christmas day. He went in carrying the bag of gifts, and without any prior discussion with anyone started saying to DGC about how Father Christmas had left this bag of presents at our house.

I shut that down straight away. Said over him in a loud voice "Don't be silly, what are you talking about? These presents are from us, we bought them".

DGC looked confused for a moment, then was distracted by something else.

To this day I just think what the fuck was he thinking???

I think the posters who are saying 'oh bless, MIL is probably excited, no issue, just roll with it' and similar are probably the lucky ones who've never had to deal with an overbearing relative.

These things rarely come as a one off ime. It might seem a small matter to some (in isolation) but when you start 'letting things go' with a relative who has a tendency to overstep it can be the start of a very slippery slope. It's better to politely outline your position on things from the beginning.

I would simply make it clear to your DD that those presents are from her nana. And that it's up to your DH to communicate that to your MIL. I doubt very much that she'd have tolerated that level of stepping on toes from her own MIL...

I don’t think it’s that uncommon for first time grandparents to get a little carried away like this . DH just needs to have a chat so she knows her stocking is from her not Father Christmas and behaves accordingly

I and the grandma and I do stockings for my whole family. They're from me and full of silly things.

The children get their Santa stockings at home.

Totally separate. Easy.

Brilliant, I'd do this! It also explains why next year that additional stocking will not magically fill up with Santa gifts.

If MIL was just using a pretty stocking as a festive 'gift bag' in which to present gifts she'd bought, I'd have no issue with that. Well, I'd be slightly miffed at the use of a stocking but I'd not say anything.

If she's intending on claiming they're from Santa then I would (politely) shut that shit down straight away.

Santa leaves gifts for the dc in their own house here and nowhere else. I would make it absolutely clear to MIL that any gifts she gave were from her and must be presented as such and no exceptions.

Mt new dgc is 6 weeks and dd said not to worry about buying a gift but he has got a proper present like everyone else.

My MIL does similar things, but they always go down well with my kids. I don't mind at all because they only have one set of grandparents, and it's really harmless. I'd probably just have them say Father Christmas left one for you at Grandma's house—how fun! It won't ruin the magic, because magic can be endless!

I hand over what I've bought to ds and dil and they add the bits to the stocking.
It's usually handkerchiefs and chocolate coins.

Laughing at the new baby not getting a stocking. My own mum didn't plan to get me a Christmas present when I was a newborn!

(61 years later, I obviously still have the 🧸 my dad bought when he overruled her 😄)

Or he could kindly follow one of the good alternatives suggested, without reminding her that she has ‘had her turn’.

I have to mentally sit on my hands to stop buying stocking fillers for my dgc. I know their parents really do good stockings but the instinct is to do them for all the children.

Argh that would drive me nuts! And is the sort of thing my ILs would do! I'd say that stocking is from grandmother & the only FC stocking is the one at your house.

This made me smile. I’m glad your DS was smart enough to figure it out!

I remember MIL loudly saying, during the build up to Christmas when DD was around six: “DO YOU STILL BELIEVE IN SANTA DD?”

Luckily, even at that age DD had learned to tune out her grandmother’s endless chatter so it went unnoticed 😬

It was a relief when my youngest stated, matter of factly, that he knew Santa wasn’t real. One thing they don’t tell you about is the pressure to maintain the myth!

My MiL also bought the kids personalised stockings but they are decorations for in-laws' fireplace only. As lots of other posters have said- your MiL has had her own time to make Christmas traditions for her own kids, you should be allowed to make yours.

I agree with others that if she gives them clearly labelled as being from her then I'd go along with it, but I'd be really annoyed if they were also labelled as being from Father Christmas... otherwise come next year you'll have the expectations of two stockings for each child along with questions about how come he doesn't bring two stockings for every child and why did he do that at all when none of the stories suggest he does? The years that kids believe are over so quickly I'd personally not want any adult interference that would likely shorten that window.

Pick your battles, this isn’t one. Only the real stocking is from Santa the other is from Nanny or Nanny Christmas as my MIL phrased it. It irritated me muchly at the time, but it doesn’t really matter.

I think Mumsnet gets more mad by the day. Do people seriously worry about so called Christmas traditions? What does it matter if grandparents, or anyone else, brings presents in a stocking, bag, or box? We often did things in a similar way each year when my daughter was younger just because it suited us, but I wouldn't consider anything we do to be a tradition, and anything can be changed to suit the circumstances. Reading some of the recent threads I think I'm rather relieved that it will just be the two of us this year, and if I ever have any grandchildren, they will be brought up as Muslims so we won't have to think about all this nonsense 😆😆