MIL and the Christmas stocking

Can’t she have MIL’s stocking as from MIL?

I honestly struggle with how rigid some families are about Father Christmas, which presents are from who, where they are put or when they open them. Young kids don't care, any questions can easily be answered or swerved. Just enjoy, in reality there's probably only about 8 or less Christmas when kids understand and believe. Relax the rules.

Totally! People are so hyper aware and conscious now, being laid back and exercising tolerance, especially with family, seems to be a dying quality.

Not a big deal. Yours is filled by Santa, grandmas is filled by her. Job done. I’m sure DS will get one next year when he’s a conscious child.

I think you’re looking at this as an adult, a 4 year old doesn’t put 2 and 2 together in the same way.

My kids have always loved underwear as Xmas gifts! I asked them this year if they still want pants and socks. They both said a loud yes! They are 20 and 22 ;-)

People make such a fuss about things here. Just be flexible and make up answers to convince your child. These things are as huge a deal as you make them. As long as gifts have good intent, try and adapt and make them work. It’s just not that hard or complex.

I used to fill my kids' stockings with stuff they needed, like underwear. I have a lovely photo of them, taken at the moment that all 3 of them pulled a new toothbrush out of their stocking, and they're all looking delighted. It was fantastic how pleased they were with new socks, colouring pens etc because they came in a stocking. Ds2 came home from uni the other day and said "Mum I hope I've got new socks for Christmas because mine are all falling apart"!

My mum attempted to be Father Christmas too - I said no, those are presents from Grandma, they need to know Grandma went out and chose them specially. That worked.

Most people have simply said that it's inappropriate, or have suggested simple ways to accept the gift but not as an official FC stocking.

And that's exactly the advice I gave, too.

I'm simply pointing out that those few posters who are taking a more aggressive approach, have no reason to do so, based on the information that OP has given. This is not an in-law with history.

I think you're a bit over-sensitive to grandparent-based critiques, saraclara.

Most people have simply said that it's inappropriate, or have suggested simple ways to accept the gift but not as an official FC stocking.

Grandparents aren't some fuzzy-one fits all-lovely group. The impulse can be lovely but the action less so. Anyone with the age to have produced two generations has had the opportunity to learn that sometimes it's not always about mindlessly following your lovely impulses and expecting everyone to blandly smile joyfully at everything you do.

That's more appropriate for the five year old than the grandparent.

GRANDPARENTS, KNOW YOUR PLACE!

(is the rallying cry of Mumsnet)

I've lost count of the number of times I've read "they've had their turn" on this thread.

And no, I wouldn't expect my stockings to be the Father Christmas ones (my adult kids get stockings from me too) and since this MIL is generally a lovely person, I dare say that if you explain pleasantly that your tradition is that only the one stocking comes from FC, but your DD will love unpacking the one from grandma too, she'll be fine.

But clearly there are loads of people on this thread who want to think that this loving grandma is a total, overstepping power-hungry bitch.

You would threaten to kick him out over a Christmas stocking?
OK then no drama there!!!

God it annoys me when you're supposed to put up with this kind of crap.
It's the parents prerogative. GPs have had their turn!

A number of years ago My mother in law said she had "stocking filler" type presents for GC and would give them in the morning when we did stockings - in the days when I had a bit of control over timings!!

I said very firmly, in front of her son, that thanks very much but it was stockings from FC ONLY early the morning and the kids would appreciate playing with the contents. All other presents to be opened later in the morning and after lunch! I did everything for Xmas so certain things happened the way I wanted as their mother!

At our house Santa does Christmas Day stockings and Grandma does Boxing Day stockings

Our neighbour managed to sneak them out of sight, and gave back the empty stockings a few days later.

Funnily enough I always had to be reminded which one was specifically mine, because my sister was obsessed with no one touching hers.

My parents put a big effort into Father Christmas, and it always struck me as weirdly selfish that my mum didn't even think about the fact that she was messing with what was important to other people.

The mil stocking is from nan. The baby doesn’t need a stocking by the sounds- I doubt your 4 year old will raise the matter though.

We tell DD nan’s stocking is delivered by elves…

MIL has overstepped, it's not her responsibility to do a stocking from Father Christmas. I would explain to MIL that the stocking needs to be from her or it will be massively confusing for DD

It really isn't that complicated!

Just tell DD that different families have different arrangements with Santa, because some mums and dads (and other family members?) like to buy mostly their own presents for their children, and some ask Santa to do it all.

My late husband would embroider this a bit, and tell them about his chat with "my good friend Father Christmas". My DDs are in their late 30s now, and still wonder what "dad's good friend Father Christmas" will bring them!

Santa does not bring the big presents, and he certainly doesn’t bring everything! I think the stocking plan you have is perfect. We didn’t get underwear, but it was smaller things to keep us occupied: sweets, colouring things, magazine, small toy or game, torch etc.

MILs stocking does not get hung up and magically filled. It gets given in the morning along with other presents.

@Lumpofcoal
one set did this, the other didn’t. It was never a thing. I didn’t get confused about Santa at all, or feel differently about either set of grandparents. Why don’t you just see how it goes this year? My grandparents had different things they did with us and there was no confusion or felling left out. There is enough room to have different traditions and it’s quite fun to experience that as a child.

I think you and dh need to find a way to combine traditions and make new ones. We had a similar dilemma and compromised on a stocking with small stuff and 1 decent present under tree from Santa. The rest were from us/whoever bought them. I don't think dd even noticed the different labels 😂. Just meet in the middle and have fun

I would definitely stamp on this. Your relatives will probably expect a thank you for the things they got your kids, won't they?
We get cheap stuff for stockings. If Santa brings you some chocolate coins, Asda pens and socks and brings your mate a bike and a games console you're going to think you weren't good enough. I don't want to cause that.

I’m a grandma. I have seven grandchildren, the only stockings they get is from me and the parents tell them it’s from me. If I didn’t do the stockings they wouldn’t get any.

Let your MIL do a stocking and start a new tradition. Let your daughter know that this stocking is from grandma, and her baby brother is too young for one this year but he will get one next year. There really isn’t a reason to blow a good deed up into a Christmas disagreement.

Just say they’re from her?