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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think two children is a big mistake?

39 replies

billionsofpresents · 17/12/2024 12:03

I really enjoy them individually but together they are hideous (4 and 1) and barely manageable sometimes.

With one I had spare money - not loads but enough. I could get a bit of me time / downtime.

Of course I wouldn’t send one back or anything but jeez. Pretty much all my friends only have one and have more money, time, aren’t teetering on the brink of divorce …

OP posts:
WobblyBoots · 17/12/2024 12:20

It will get batter. I have 3 and my youngest 2 DC are around that age. It's really hard going as they both need a lot of attention at that age. My 4 year old just started school and I've definitely got more energy now for the late afternoon/evening as looking after one all day now feels like a breeze!

user87349287657 · 17/12/2024 12:20

Mine were 18mths apart.
An old lady told me that awful toddlers became lovely teenagers, and it’s been true! Hang in there OP, only 13 or so years to go!

Bbqnights · 17/12/2024 12:20

Are you a SAHM? Does your eldest to go nursery or pre school at all?

Original poster
billionsofpresents · 17/12/2024 12:17

@YouveGotAFastCar i find the mornings are more structured as they are (usually) in fairly good spirits and cheery, will play with toys and listen to their Tonie box. Don’t get me wrong we have the odd squawk / shriek but mostly it’s good. Then we go out. Come back for lunch and things are a bit more irritable and grouchy and boring somehow. By 3 time is dragging, by 5 toys have been strewn everywhere, I’ve dealt with an average of twelve tantrums per hour and I’m frazzled and exhausted.

Yes we can go out in the afternoons and sometimes do but it can work out expensive and anyway we have to come home sometimes!

OP posts:
OriginalUsername2 · 17/12/2024 12:15

Stage and age. It will get easier!

eastcoasterly · 17/12/2024 12:15

It will get easier as others are saying but what stands out to me is you touch on being on the brink of divorce. That isn't because of how many children you have, that's it's own issue and needs addressing above all else. Having two (or however many) children in a happy marriage works, if you're on the brink of divorce it's time to address your relationship properly together rather than bundling it in with the parenting.

WhatNoRaisins · 17/12/2024 12:12

It's the stage. I think whatever age gap you have it's hard when you've got one who is neither a portable baby nor an older child who can do some of the same things as a sibling.

Mangocity · 17/12/2024 12:10

I found one was more demanding. Two relate to each other and don't expect the moon on a stick.

ABunchOfBadBitches · 17/12/2024 12:09

Mine have a 11 month age gap and are toddlers. Both have disabilities too. It’s hell😂 plus I’m a single parent so it’s totally fucked up

YouveGotAFastCar · 17/12/2024 12:09

What’s hard about the afternoons and evenings? Is there something you can change to make them easier?

Weirdly my friends with two seem a lot happier and more settled than my friends with one!

Original poster
billionsofpresents · 17/12/2024 12:09

Wannabegreenfingers · 17/12/2024 12:07

It does get easier, but then they start arguing over fresh air or in my case this morning, about grating cheese!!

Oh god I’m there with you -
mine were fighting over the cards in my purse this morning!

OP posts:
Original poster
billionsofpresents · 17/12/2024 12:07

I know - i feel awful but I can’t wait for DS to start (September birthday so definitely ready!) The only thing is its the afternoons and evenings that are most hideous and school won’t solve that, or will it?

I am hoping when both are at school I’ll have a bit of downtime for one thing and also they’ll be older - one year old is a bit hard work just now!

OP posts:
Wannabegreenfingers · 17/12/2024 12:07

It does get easier, but then they start arguing over fresh air or in my case this morning, about grating cheese!!

Hankunamatata · 17/12/2024 12:05

I never believed it when people told me but things do get easier once one is in school and when both in school a bit easier again.