FERAL xmas day gift opening

Santa doesn't wrap presents so that takes care of that. For present giving with family we usually go one at a time, if someone has multiple we just adjust the goes a bit. Or two at a time if it's a big group. Its all quite calm but took effort to control DS 1 who would rip the room apart if he could.

I'm still annoyed at the memory of my little sis screaming and ripping all her presents then randomly grabbing others including mine and my mother laughing along as she would look in disgust at my present and throw it away. There was a big gap so I was well into the 1 or 2 nice gifts stage when she was at plastic tat stage. I remember one year fishing through ripped paper for my gift. Spoilt brat!! Thankfully she turned out lovely in the end.

We always did one by one present opening, but now that the numbers have swelled with partners and grandkids, we each open one of our presents at the same time, then share what we've each unwrapped, and thank the givers.
Then on to the next round.
It's also means that bit everyone is starting at the one person, which I think at least one the partners might find awkward.

But I'd never ever have countenanced the feral and ungrateful behaviour that OP describes.

Other than not saying thank you and not even bothering to look at the present, it wouldn’t bother me.

Everything is from Santa here and I don’t mind the feral opening. It’s Christmas and only happens once a year, part of the fun.

We hand everyone’s piles out and then go round and open one at a time. Some people have expensive presents (so fewer gifts to open) will finish before others, but that’s fine.

I wouldn’t want feral present-opening.

I let mine chaos but all the presents under the tree are bought by me, family bring theirs when they arrive for dinner and are thanked then and there. They’re always appreciative of anything they’re given to be fair to them.

The presents wouldn’t bother me. And I don’t understand rhe odd rules some folks have round present opening. But spending the day in their rooms would upset me.

This.

As the parent, you are in charge.

All of my life and including when we were tiny kids, it was one person, one gift at a time. Handed out by mum or dad, with time taken to admire the wrapping, admire the gift, thank the giver (if present) and savor the moment. Our gift opening took well over an hour or two , for six people.

Parents should be giving the presents in order, leaving the main present - ie the one they want the most or most expensive to last.

you have not got children yourself, have you! 😂

but there's a balance.

I am all for excitement, but ungrateful children who can't wait to go back to their room without a thank you, that's not festive.

I can't understand the rules and idea of strictly regimented Christmas gift ceremony from some posters, it sounds pretentious and boring. It's a long way from expecting teens to show basic manners and pleasantness after opening their gifts.

Have been at my ex's BIL at Christmas and it was 6 under 10s ripping paper at once. Three of the kids were ex's BIL and his OH and the other three were nephew and nieces of his OH. It was chaos. Some family gave similar presents to the children as of a similar age. They forgot who got them what and what their actual presents were. For example the boys got Beyblades (the toy at the time) one was given a blue one and the other a green one. Couldn't remember who got which colour.

Parents should be giving the presents in order, leaving the main present - ie the one they want the most or most expensive to last.

My husband's nephews are like this. It horrified me the first time we spent Christmas with them - just a sea of toys discarded for the next one. And they were told everything is from Father Christmas so they never thank anyone.

I voted YABU but only because that’s “normal” to them.

What would happen if you said that this year, you’ll be handing them out? Maybe in bundles if they don’t have the same amount - two for the 7 year old and 1 for the teen, for example - and take a break in between each one to look at it and talk about what it is.

You be the one handing the presents out!

But by bundles I don’t mean handing everyone a present to open at once, I mean give the seven year old two to open. Open it, ooh and ahh. Then give the teen a present to open. Ooh and ahh. Next kid.

When mine were small I labelled each present with a large “post it” with a random number written on it. Then each child got a list with their numbers on- and one by one, taking turns, they had to find one present with their number and open it. Everyone enjoyed seeing what it was- then the next child, and the next and so on. Some presents were “big” and some were “small”.

It took a while but was fun for everyone and as long as every child had the same amount of presents it worked well.

Why on earth would there be whining ? Weird. Oh yes my lovely MIL wanted my children to be rared her way making them wait 🤦‍♀️ honestly I have never seen such joy when my nieces have as at ours and they get to have the exciting opening and it isn't feral that's an unfair adjective it is exciting, expressing joy and they are grateful kids so I love watching their eyes light up

Yes different folks different strokes

Then your family and my family do things differently. That's fine. There's no 'killing of the excitement' in fact it extends it throughout the entire day, rather than being ten minutes of frantic paper ripping and 11 hours of whingeing.

It works for us, probably because that's what we've always done so my kids know no other way. I wouldn't suggest anyone else suddenly told their kids they'd only be able to open presents through the day.

Oh lord that was my late MIL talk about killing the joy and excitement of Xmas morning.

I stepped in and made it clear she had her run with her kids mine wanted the exciting first thing as I had and as my mother had. She could either join or go for a walk or a cuppa I wasn't losing our excitement for her spread out form.

No thank you. No comment about the gift. Just manic, uncivilised chaos. :( Then disappear back to their rooms.

that's not a joyful chaos, which would be a bit much but acceptable.
That is just being rude, you shouldn't accept that. It completely denies the point of Christmas.

They are old enough to tidy up their mess for a start. If they can't be grateful, I would severely limit the amount of gifts and money spent on them! They need to learn.

How much of their own money are they spending on their parents and sibling gifts?

are they British?

I have seen family waking up a little one to open the presents with the rest of the family at midnight, it was actually quite lovely . The children were really looking forward to it.

Christmas morning, everybody had a long lie-in, I should start the tradition with mine!

We've always opened ours throughout the day. So stockings first thing - they can open those however they like. Then a present from under the tree with breakfast, out to walk the dogs, back home and another present, a present when everyone sits down for a cup of coffee, another after the afternoon dog walk, etc etc.

It's a pain when they keep nagging 'is it time for another present yet?' but it spreads the excitement and anticipation out and stops that frenzied ten minutes that OP speaks about. They take more notice of their presents because it's one at a time. If someone has more than someone else, then they can open two at each opening. After dinner (which we eat late afternoon early evening) there's the 'mopping up' opening when any last gifts get opened in one go.

I absolutely would not put up with the 'feral' opening - they don't appreciate anything and half the time they don't even known what they've got. Do they not make mistakes and get presents mixed up? That would have resulted in stand-up fights among my lot (five of them), so I make absolutely certain they know which gifts are theirs.

This is what we do and it works really well. It’s nice to see what everyone else gets and is a lot more relaxed. I said YABU because this is a very fixable problem, OP. Just say no. Your youngest is 7 years old now, so it’s not like you have toddlers who really cannot wait their turn. It’s not unreasonable to raise the bar to a more civilized level this year!

Haven't RTFT in full but I was going to vote YABU to have allowed this situation to develop until I read that DH likes it this way and thinks it's normal. In fact it is apparently quite normal in some households, much to my bemusement.

I wouldn't like it at all and it's not how we did things when my children were little. There's absolutely no need to be feral about things even at Christmas time...but I guess some people must love the chaos.

In my home country (Denmark) children wait quite happily until after dinner - which is in the evening, not at lunch time - for Christmas presents, anticipation building throughout the day. When they're opened everyone, from adults right down to the youngest, watches and waits as each person opens one present in turn. I loved it as a child.

It's so nice - everyone has time to really enjoy the process and appreciate the ambience, plus the children get to enjoy each unwrapping and seeing what each toy is much more keenly. There's a lot to be said for quiet, gentle enjoyment in my view!

(It doesn't matter if there are different amounts of presents. Adults and teenagers are perfectly able to understand that little ones will get more and it won't be strictly equal turn taking. Even older children should be able to get their heads round that!)

I'd say we're partially domesticated. Happy to let the kids open their main gifts at their pace, these gifts are usually in little piles placed away from the tree in a pre-chosen spot. That said they aren't fully feral when left to their own devices, they do naturally stop and show each other things of particular delight, chat away, totally unwrap items, unbox, and give thanks as they go. I think I would step in if it had ever got too hectic. Under tree presents from family and friends are handed out afterwards, usually in rounds i.e gifts from Aunty X then a round from Aunty Y, labels read, gifts commented on and noted for thanks etc.

I think most Catholic countries do this. My husband describes it being like this when he was a kid but he never imposed it on our own kids as we're in the UK and do it like most other people here

Me and other half had very different present opening upbringing. My parents were super slow, they even are now to the point of being tedious tbh as they save them and make everyone watch them open. My other half has a big family and theirs was more carnage. So I try and go somewhere in-between and I will break it up with breakfast etc. I know some kids that get up at 5 and are done by 6 and I won't have that.

Mine tear into the gifts like animals, but they know better than to make a swift exit without even a thank you. I'd be very upset.

But...and I'm sorry to say this...if it's always been like this, then I'm sorry it'll probably never change. How there isn't even an expectation of a thank you I don't know.