Tell me happy stories of your 40s - did you find love and happiness?

I got divorced when I was 44, had met another chap at a local club, went out with him for a couple of years; he left (he was much younger her than me, but it was great fun while it lasted) and he signed me up on a dateline - I kissed a few frogs (as someone upthread has said, you need to be absolutely sure what you’re looking for, and be sure that they are on the same page - there are sadly many who are looking for a hook-up rather than a relationship) - happily for me, I eventually met my chap, and we have been together over twenty years and married nearly fifteen. So one’s forties can be a decade of positive change.

I'm just turned 41. I'll tell you how I found my happiness when I find it OP. Until then, I'll cry when I hide in the bathroom, I'll not eat due to anxiety and I'll continue to plaster a smile on my face to stop my friends and family from worrying.

I got divorced at 40, focussed on me and my lovely kids for a while, started dating (never had a problem with online dating, just don't expect immediate success), had one relationship that didn't work out but I enjoyed at the time then met my partner in my mid-40s. That was 5 years ago. I've enjoyed my 40s so much though they were so different to what I had expected up till then. Keep an open mind, a positive attitude and believe in yourself.

Met my lovely chap at 42 after years of crappy dating (but some excellent stories!) when I was volunteering on a community centre bar at his friends birthday party.

I asked him out a few weeks later. Took him on a date. The rest is history. We are now 9 years down the line. :)

Don’t live together (it works better that way for us!) but only a town apart and together every weekend and random dates mid week and off for gigs, holidays and festivals and camper trips throughout the year.

he’s a bit older than me 14 year age gap - but he’s a very young 64 and very healthy and we will face whatever happens in the years to come. I’m the one always ill due to an immune system disorder so he might be my career yet. ;)

never too old to start dating or meet someone new.

i had stopped making it a focus and what I decided to do instead was have new experiences. Volunteer in new places, join new hobbies, eat at new places… say yes to more opportunities. I feel the joy we put out into life attracts similar energy and when we aren’t looking - we will find our matches.

I also feel that you need to be seeking help or on the way to recovery from previous trauma and insecurities to really be in the best place for new starts. A partner compliments who I am as a person - they don’t complete me. I’m already complete as a person in my own right.

Ended my abusive relationship at 45, had a year adjusting to being a single mum, a year thriving as a single mum and a year ago I met a gorgeous man who restored my faith in relationships. Going into 49 looking forward to the last year before my 50s… and to my 50s as well!

I met my partner at the age of 44 after being single for many, many years. I got diagnosed with advanced cancer last year at the age of 47 which I feel is extremely unfair on both of us but what can you do.

My late 40s were the best years for me, though it took me a while to realise it. I went through a horrible divorce, was literally on my knees and so so lost. But I came out the other side as a fiercely independent woman, having realised that I'd spend my whole life being a people-pleaser to my total detriment. Then I met my kind, lovely DP at a time I was resolutely single. And now in my mid-50s I am more together and happier than I have ever been. I am very lucky.

What a lovely thread! I am 45 and very low, but this thread has given me hope!

Life was shit until the age of 49 when Ieft my stalking, needy, grasping ex and moved to the other side of the world. Met the man of whom I could say "So this is what it is all about, the secret of perfect happiness". Twenty-five years later, we live in a cocoon of utter contentment, and he has truly been "the wind beneath my wings".

Met DH at 44 and got married at 51.

My 40s were great, 50s better, 60s proving best yet. I love being older (although still 17 in my head!)

At 41 I entered a Valentines Day competition to win a free years membership of a national dating agency. After a few matches met my husband and been married over 20 years now. At 40 I hadn't met "the one" so I just thought - well not meant to, not my destiny - so just decided to enjoy life and see what it had to offer and to be more adventurous. I went to college and got a HNC qualification. I think the shift in attitude and more peaceful, optimistic outlook worked for me. Good luck and wishing you all the best things in life.

I met my dream man at 44, married at 46 and now 10 months away from 50 I’ve never been more content and happy 🩷

Divorced at 34.....single for 12yrs bringing up kids....didn't think I'd find anyone again....met someone 🥰 when I was 46 and been very happily dating them for the last 2.5yrs. Good luck xx

I met my DH at 38, married at 40, kiddo at 41 and am the happiest I've ever been. I'd been single for a few years before I met him and like a pp mentioned, I had a cast-iron list of qualities I wanted in a partner and felt strongly that I'd rather stay single (and happy! I'd built a good life for myself) than settle. I have no doubt that the best is yet to come for you.

You know, I just lost my love. And it’s OK (even if I have to remind myself of that couple of times a day). I feel great, I look great, I just took up pole dancing where I am surrounded by amazing women telling me how strong I am. I have wonderful friends, loving family. No children so this stings at times but it is also OK because I am free to make decisions. I can emigrate to Australia tomorrow if I wanted to. Life’s good. Really good. And the hole left by loss will fill one day. I am very hopeful. It is not over for me yet. I am sure of that.

Yes. I had to do the work so I could not only spot but ACT ON the 🚩 and then I met him. We are really happy, he’s my best friend.

I met him organically, not online, btw. I don’t think OLD men are really looking for a real human woman, somehow. They’re shopping for an idealised image in their heads.

You have to be absolutely ruthless - it's a numbers game. Have your non-negotiables in place, bin anyone who doesn't grab your attention in the first couple of messages and meet ASAP, no lengthy back-and-forward text convos.

I met my husband when I was 40 after 10 years being mostly single.

It's been 18 years now, he's never stopped being wonderful and we have a lovely life together!

No love story in my 40s because I can't be arsed, but my DC leaving home, me moving somewhere new and downsizing, paying off the mortgage. Making fabulous new friends, volunteering, discovering new hobbies...

Yep. 40s are a brilliant decade! I'm 53 now and still do a little dance every day because the decisions I made in my 40s have lead to an amazing life now.

But urgh to a relationship. Just why?! I don't want a bloke barging into my independence and I have enough friends for company.

I agree with this wholeheartedly! The 40s can be an absolutely fabulous time! Embrace it, and you, when you start to feel like yourself again. And you will.

I found my love aged 43. My first marriage broke down; then, at 38, I met someone who turned out to be horribly abusive. I was glad to get out but figured that I’d used up my chances. I signed up for online dating hoping I’d meet someone to go out with and have a bit of companionship. But met my beloved instead. He’s younger than me, I thought it would be my last fling. Nearly twelve years later we are still going strong and I am so grateful for him every day. I would never have believed it.

Met DP when I was mid 30s and he early 30s- we were good friends. Got together 5 years ago when I was early 40s and he late 30s, we've been living together for 4 years now. He's my soulmate.

Yep ;)

Met and married early 40s. Had never wanted to marry previous partners so had turned down proposals. I guess I would have been happy single. You truly don't know what is around the corner OP. Chin up.