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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think she could have sat in a normal chair?

270 replies

Theskyitwasmaroon · 16/12/2024 20:18

I drove to see a friend today, about 100 miles away. I took my DD who is 9 months, she eats solids now and at home sits up with us in a highchair.

We specifically got invited for lunch that my friend made.

My friend has a DD who is 3.5, they have a Tripp trapp so I didn’t take a highchair with me as I thought she could use their highchair.

However when it came to eating, my friend insisted her DD sit in the Tripp trapp? This meant my DD had to sit in her car seat on the floor. I had to then feed her lunch on my lap. Her DD asked to sit on the normal chairs and my friend insisted she must sit in the highchair (it was on the highchair setting still, the same setting we use for DD).

AIBU to think this is quite rude? It made my lunch uncomfortable as DD hates her car seat and likes to sit up. I felt a bit bad for excluding her. Surely one time sitting at a dining chair wouldn’t hurt?

OP posts:
SillyQuail · 16/12/2024 21:25

We have 2 of these for our 2yo and 4yo and they are so possessive over them that all hell breaks loose if someone else sits on one. Maybe your friend wanted to avoid the inevitable meltdown if her 3yo was evicted from her chair? The 3yo probably sees it as hers - and rightly so. Honestly I would expect to be holding my baby on my lap most of the time in someone else's house at that age

Original poster
Theskyitwasmaroon · 16/12/2024 21:25

Wolfpa · 16/12/2024 21:23

Why didn’t you ask to use the chair?

Have you read the thread as I already answered that one.

OP posts:
pestowithwalnuts · 16/12/2024 21:24

Theskyitwasmaroon · 16/12/2024 20:27

She has got it adapted exactly the same way that we have ours. I just thought it was a bit rude that I had driven such a long way for my DD to be sat on the kitchen floor.

Did you expect her to make her child sit on the floor while yours had the seat ?

Wolfpa · 16/12/2024 21:23

Why didn’t you ask to use the chair?

Pleatherandlace · 16/12/2024 21:23

Tchunk · 16/12/2024 21:20

As many posts have said, a Tripp trap is usable as a booster seat until age 6-7

Show quote history

A 6-7 year old can sit on a normal chair. And someone even said they used it for their children up to age 12!

arethereanyleftatall · 16/12/2024 21:22

Get one of these op. I used mine so often. Restaurants. So much better that their ones often. Friends houses.

To think she could have sat in a normal chair?
Newdaynewstarts · 16/12/2024 21:22

Yabu to assume you cna rock up and expect to use another child’s things.

Original poster
Theskyitwasmaroon · 16/12/2024 21:22

Can people genuinely eat properly with a 9 month old baby sitting on their lap? I would find it impossible to eat properly and be able to concentrate on the conversation. DD goes in a highchair or her pushchair when we are out otherwise she is taking food from my plate, trying to pull my hair, use my cutlery, wriggle off my lap etc etc

OP posts:
HaddyAbrams · 16/12/2024 21:22

Pleatherandlace · 16/12/2024 21:18

My mind’s blown that people are sitting school aged children in high chairs! Mine were out of them by the time they turned 2 😅

Mine couldn't reach the table at 2!

NiftyKoala · 16/12/2024 21:21

SilverChampagne · 16/12/2024 20:20

Three and a half, still squished into a high chair?
Very odd.

No way would mine at that age sit in a high chair. At that age a regular chair or booster but no way a high chair.

Tchunk · 16/12/2024 21:20

Pleatherandlace · 16/12/2024 21:18

My mind’s blown that people are sitting school aged children in high chairs! Mine were out of them by the time they turned 2 😅

As many posts have said, a Tripp trap is usable as a booster seat until age 6-7

arethereanyleftatall · 16/12/2024 21:20

Weird all round.
Weird to squish a preschooler into a baby high chair
Weird to not bring a portable high chair with you. (I just kept one in my car). It was small and just hooked on to a table.
Weird to put a baby on the floor in a car seat whilst you ate.

Scirocco · 16/12/2024 21:19

My DC isn't 3 yet, and I know exactly what they would think of any suggestion of sitting in a high chair...

Imisschocolate17 · 16/12/2024 21:18

When mine were that age I logged around a portable chair for her, as did all my mum friends, at 9 months you may just not have got to that yet or seen it much but it's definitely a thing. I wouldn't assume I could use someone else's highchair, there's a possibility (knowing what 3 year olds can be like) that if she let her DD sit on a normal chair this once she then be a little nightmare at every other meal time at refusing to go back on her chair

Pleatherandlace · 16/12/2024 21:18

My mind’s blown that people are sitting school aged children in high chairs! Mine were out of them by the time they turned 2 😅

Tchunk · 16/12/2024 21:17

I think yabu. That is probably her DCs normal chair. The settings are irrelevant. She probably doesn’t want her to get the idea that the chair is optional. Maybe she gets down or wriggles or makes a mess in a normal chair.

I would never go somewhere with a baby and assume someone else will provide whatever equipment I need. You should have asked beforehand or just taken your own.

PurpleThistle7 · 16/12/2024 21:17

I would never assume I'd use someone else's stuff, I just brought what I needed or did without. Yabu

LocalHobo · 16/12/2024 21:17

The Tripp Trapp is supposed to be usable up to 8 years
I use my Tripp Trapp at 40+! The comfiest dining chair (obviously I would give it up for a baby/toddler though).

Stillherestillpraying · 16/12/2024 21:16

Your friend is selfish and a crap host. You always make your guest comfortable before attending to yourself.

Original poster
Theskyitwasmaroon · 16/12/2024 21:14

Summerbod25 · 16/12/2024 21:11

Without knowing the full ins & outs of how your friends runs her house, you are being unreasonable for making presumptions. My dining table is vvv expensive, the fabric chairs were made to order, and whilst durable, I don’t allow my toddler to sit in them to eat her lunch.. she’s petite and still fits perfectly in her highchair, so while we’re at this young & messy stage, she eats there. My table, my chairs, my preference! We saved for a long time for the furniture and decor that we want. Is there a reason your child couldn’t sit on your lap while she ate? Surely it wouldn’t have taken her long to eat.

If that’s the case I wouldn’t think you would want a 9 month old sitting on your lap being fed whilst at your expensive dining table?! I wouldn’t want my baby anywhere near it! She would be much better keeping her mess contained in the highchair.

OP posts:
Mumbleitsoftly · 16/12/2024 21:14

It's odd that a 3.5 actually sits in it, even if I'd tried with mine he would have flatly refused!

But even so, we had a portable high chair seat that was easy to transport and clipped onto normal chairs. I never assumed I could use someone's else high chair if they had one. I'd have checked first and taken the portable if needed.

But, if you had turned up to my house without one (even if you'd driven 1 mile!) I'd have offered mine and given the 3.5 year old a normal chair.

JoyeuxNarwhal · 16/12/2024 21:12

Tbh if I was going over a mealtime id have taken a high chair for lo. We had a seat that clipped onto the edge of the table when ours were small. Took up barely any space in the car.

Coconutter24 · 16/12/2024 21:12

Theskyitwasmaroon · 16/12/2024 21:05

I quite often have my nephew to stay with me, he is 3 and he sits on a normal dining chair. I wouldn’t put him in the baby seat of the Tripp trapp.

This is irrelevant information, your friend uses the seat for her child, it was time to eat so she uses the seat as normal.

IlooklikeNigella · 16/12/2024 21:11

That is really weird especially as the child was sitting on a regualr seat while colouring

I had an odd experience the other way.

I have a friend who has a heart of gold but is insanely bossy by nature. She just can't help taking over everything and has been like this for the thirty years I've known her. I'm used to her but my DH isn't especially. Herself her husband and their three DC came over for Sunday lunch. Her youngest was 15 months, ours 10 months.

They all arrived in, the DC their usual balls of energy. Everyone is exchanging pleasantries, commenting the food smells good and settling in. My friend sits down, pulls the high chair over and straps her DC in telling him the food is on the way. My DH was standing next to her with our DC in his arms. His mouth literally dropped open in shock at the same time as my friend reached out her arms for a squeeze of our baby.

It was so hilarious I couldn't address it without roaring laughing and embarrassing my friend that I just served up and put my baby on my lap. None of them noticed.

Nameandgamechange123 · 16/12/2024 21:11

Yes your friend was rude. You're supposed to make your guests feel welcome.