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Original poster

ExH allowed 13 year old to babysit Step Siblings

109 replies

RobertGrayson · 16/12/2024 17:23

DD turned 13 in September and typically sees her Dad every other weekend. Sometimes he can be away with work for weeks at a time with work (not his fault ofc), this year in particular there has been two separate occasions where he has not seen her for 6 weeks.

He will collect her Friday from school and return her home on Sunday afternoon.

During our catch up after she was dropped home on Sunday, she let me know that she babysat her two step siblings, 2 and 5, on Saturday night whilst her Dad and his Wife went to the pub and cinema. DD has explained that the Cinema is approx. 20 minutes away, they left at 7:30pm and returned at 12:30am.

AIBU to think that:

  1. She is not old enough to be responsible for a toddler/young child.
  2. Considering he sees her 15% of the time (at best) that they could have spent some time with her instead and not left her alone for a date night.

As an aside, she was paid £10, which I think is also a piss take.

I've spoken with ExH to say that I am unhappy, he didn't put up much of a fight so I doubt it'll ever happen again, but it's really playing on my mind still. Am I being oversensitive?

OP posts:
Tarraleah · 16/12/2024 17:31

13 is, generally, more than old enough for babysitting.

£10 is an absolute pisstake. I hate people who claim younger ones should be paid less because they have less experience/ no training and what not. It's the same children you are babysitting, it's the same amount of time you are giving away. The children will play up or sleep just the same while you are watching tv.

For the rest, yes, of course it's awful he didn't plan something with her!

Did he even ASK if she was in the mood for babysitting, or sounds like she was forced to do it! In which case, £10 is even more unacceptable.

You are not being over sensitive at all.

WeeOrcadian · 16/12/2024 17:30

Hold on

So 'his' weekend - he fucked off out while his daughter WHO'D GONE TO SPEND TIME WITH HIM looked after the younger kids?

Fuck THAT

She's just his poorly paid skivvy

Anonymous2003 · 16/12/2024 17:30

What an asshole. If I could only see my child every other weekend I would maximise my time spent with them. Not fuck off on date night with dollybird. I can't imagine how that must have made your daughter feel...used probably. Why couldn't they have gone out on the weekend where he is child free. If that was my kid's dad I would be giving him hell over this.

Jellycatspyjamas · 16/12/2024 17:29

I wouldn’t leave my 13 year old alone for that length of time at night never mind her caring for 2 much smaller children.

Falseshamrok · 16/12/2024 17:29

CandiedPrincess · 16/12/2024 17:27

13 is too young. NSPCC say shouldn't be under 16. My DD started babysitting for me (for her half-sibling) when she was 16, and I paid her £25 and a Dominos! But even then I was out from about 7pm-10.30pm.

Where does the nspcc say that?

I think 13 is fine.

CandiedPrincess · 16/12/2024 17:28

Also - children under 16 years can't be prosecuted for neglect etc of children in their care, the parents are still liable and would be charged if such a situation arose.

CandiedPrincess · 16/12/2024 17:27

13 is too young. NSPCC say shouldn't be under 16. My DD started babysitting for me (for her half-sibling) when she was 16, and I paid her £25 and a Dominos! But even then I was out from about 7pm-10.30pm.

biscuitsandbooks · 16/12/2024 17:27

I can't see the issue with the babysitting in general, but he should be spending his contact time with her, not pissing off down the pub.

Allthehorsesintheworld · 16/12/2024 17:26

My DDs babysat at 13 but this was her time with her dad. He should have taken her out for a meal or at least spent time at home with her.
And if she agrees to babysit again she should tell him her hourly rate —-£10 for a whole evening doesn’t cut it!!