ExH allowed 13 year old to babysit Step Siblings

I think a couple of hours would be ok assuming dd and her df have access to phones the whole time. Five hours when the youngest child is only two and she gets £10? Ridiculous

13 is young if there is no plan B.
7:30-12:30’am is a long time .

i have used 13 year olds to babysit but just for an hour if there was school thing ( like 6-7) and always knowing the 13 year old had a mum/ dad up the street who would come if needed . And that my phone would take a message and I would come home if they texted me ( and be home in 10mins).

what if a sibling was sick or fell out of bed?
What if the power cut out ?
what if the toilet overflowed ?

What the heck would a 13 year old do with no plan b

bad choice - and £10 is a joke.. £2 am hour = £1 a child ?!

Lots of things have changed for the better though, it depends what decade you are referring to, I was a 90s 13 year old and I don't remember anybody having 13 year old babysitters, maybe in the 70s?

Equally, I have an almost 18 year old DS and and a 13 year old DD, the difference in maturity is very clear and so there is no point in referring to teens' competence as a 13 year old is wildly different to a 19 year old.

I think with a two year old it is a lot of responsibility for a 13 year old! Things can go wrong quickly with a child that age - he has also underpaid her!

Forty years ago, most 13 year old girls would have had more childcare experience and more house keeping experience than is typical now, out of necessity (and a lack of feminism)

If you've grown up looking after younger siblings, cooking and cleaning, and expect to leave school at 15 to start work, then babysitting at 13 isn't going to be a big deal. But that's not the experience of most modern 13yr olds! And let's face it, god forbid there was an emergency, would you feel comfortable dashing back and explaining to police/fire brigade that you'd left a 13yr old to babysit for your night in the pub?

I think for me its the safety aspect - would a 13 year old know what to do if one of them started choking, she got a strange knock at the door that sort of thing. He should have checked with you if he felt she was capable and you agreed she was - and checked with her too rather than lumping on her.

13 is ok for a couple of hours, but not until gone midnight. If she's ok with babysitting in general then I'd let her but not until that late.

What a ridiculous post that has absolutely nothing to do with a 13 year old babysitting their step siblings 🙄

I’m really surprised at how many posters are saying I did this and that.

It’s not a race to the bottom.

I was left alone from the age of 4 and had to defend for myself.
I was fine and managed.
But just because I managed doesn’t make it ok.

We has kids working down the mines and chimneys.
We don’t do that anymore and it’s not because kids have regressed or are snowflakes or molly coddled.
We just know better now.

I have no issue in principle with the 13 year old being in charge of the toddlers for a couple of hours. But 5 hours, past midnight is too much - the 13 year old will want to be in bed, and won't be thinking about listening for the little ones, and the little ones won't realise she's there to look after them.

When I babysat at that age, it wasn't normally that late (and if it was, then my parents were a 5 minute walk up the road, so I could call for help if I needed it)

I can't imagine leaving a 13 yr old to look after a 2 year old! Maybe the 5 yr old but nit for tgat amount of time or that late

Was your DD OK with it.?

I might let a 13 year old babysit for a very short amount of time, say an hour or so, and during the day, if the occassion was exceptional.
However, from what the OP says, the 13 yr old was expecting to babysit till 12.30 at night. As a mother, I would not feel happy about this, if the children being looked after were mine.
It is always a case of worse case scenario; ie what could be the worse that could happen, and could the 13 year old deal with it.

That's shitty all over.
Pointless her going over if he's not going to spend time with her.
Too late in the day, she shouldn't be responsible for small children at bedtime.
I wouldn't leave a 13 year old with a 2yo for long at all, an hour or so maybe if she's comfortable but way too long and tbh with 2 of them I think it's too much responsibility. If the little kids start dicking around what exactly is she supposed to be able to do? It's not fair on her and must feel so shitty thsy he didnt want to spend time with his own daughter after so long.

I find it frightening, that so many people see teens nowadays as young children, unable to be left alone, to babysit, take the train alone.
I can't imagine the shock when they go to Uni, start a job or do adult things completely unprepared! Recipe for disaster.

I completely agree with both of your points.

He needs to save going out for when he doesn’t see his child.

And 13 is way too young to be having responsibility of 2 kids that age.

Did she want to babysit?

And you know that it’s not ok?

He took the piss. £10? What an arse

I'm a child social worker, whilst I babysat children at 13, I wouldn't look kindly on it in this day and age - IF babysitting was something she was keen on, I'd expect it to start with one, older child, and for a much shorter period of time - past midnight could be quite frightening for a child of that age, also as they're step siblings I don't know how comfortable she would be eg if the two year old was upset?

Aside from that it beggars belief that he used her contact time to go to the pub - if he tries that again I'd suggest she rings you to be collected, and dad gets his arse home from the pub! That's not what she's there for, and I wonder how much say she actually got in the matter.

Too young, I've only just started to ask DS who is nearly 18 to be in with my 13 year old DD if it is late in the evening!

Total pisstake. She's far too young to be looking after small children for that long during what should be her time with her dad. Did he do anything nice with her during the day maybe she would have enjoyed a trip to the cinema! Also should have been paid fairly for her time. I babysat for 5 children by myself when I was 15 and it was way too much pressure!

Agree with this. I babysat my parents' friends' kids at 13 but they weren't as young as 2 and 5, plus we weren't left alone until after midnight

I used to babysit at 13/14 for my mum's friends they had a 5/6 year old. He would be in bed ready by the time I got there I'd read him another story (because he loved it) and then lights off. They used to have netball/rugby on the same night one of them would be back by about 9:30, often the mum who'd been playing netball with my mum, so I'd get a lift home. When I was about 15/16 I'd also babysit for the annual rugby black tie do which was until much later but then they'd put me in a cab either home or sometimes to the party I was going to! They used to pay me £5 an hour and leave me snacks or pizza which in the late nights was pretty good.
I wouldn't have felt comfortable looking after a toddler at 13 and for me the biggest issue here is she's there to see her dad and he's sodding off out and using her as cheap labour!!