Was I unreasonable to let my friend walk to the train station alone on a night out?

Location would have a bearing to me. Though in any case you offered.

Just to add, as its Christmas the shops are open in my city centre until 10pm at the moment so it really is like day time out there. Families shopping with children looking at the lights, going to the Christmas Market etc.

I wouldn't take a taxi or expect to be escorted the train station at 9pm in what sounds like a busy city centre. We just had our work night out and people were coming from all over so people peeled off at various points in the evening to go to the train station. In fact I am taking my 5yo to the panto on Thursday and we will probably get train there and back, so we will be walking about 10 mins from theatre to train station through city centre at 10pm. There's loads of people about, particularly this time of year and last year DD loved seeing the lights.

If she was walking somewhere remote or less busy then I'd have suggested she get a Uber or something, but assuming it's a well-trodden path then I think you did fine.

If she was shooting for a 9pm train she would have left at 8.30pm. In a busy town/city? Some peoole leave work at that time. It’s really not late at all. You offered and she declined.

By the time OP came back from the walking her friend home, it would be around 9.30. Then she would have to leave again around 50 minutes later to get to the station for her own train.

In what world does that make sense?

Really? 20 minutes through my local city centre at 9pm is about as safe as it gets. Not only are the streets full of people, but there's police all over the place, at the station too. I feel more at risk in the very early dark mornings. Nothing to do with the quality of your seat, its the risk assessment which for me would be low risk.

'The friend should have planned better. Maybe she should have asked to stay the night with one of her friends.'

Yes she should have planned better, she didn't though and in these circumstances friends tend to stick together rather than one going off alone. Still, they did have a corner seat and it would've spoilt the night.

One of our dcs ended up getting a train back earlier once with their friend. It is what pals do, stick together.

If I told friends that I was fine to walk to the station alone (not being drunk) and they insisted on walking with me, I would find it pretty infantilising.

When I was at uni (10 years ago), I used to work in a bar then walk / get bus / metro home late at night alone. We all did.

I understand post high profile cases how women feel unsafe alone in the dark but there's a bit of a balancing act because surely we don't all want to change our behaviour so much we effectively have to have chaperones or kerfews to feel safe.

Not sure what the answer is but as your friend said she was OK to walk and wasn't drunk I think it was OK.

Not a chance I would walk someone sober home a 40 minute round trip to the station. By the time OP got back she would have to make the journey soon again!

The friend should have planned better. Maybe she should have asked to stay the night with one of her friends.

'I'm pretty risk averse but even I think 9pm in a city is fine'

20 mins, after a few hours drinking walking alone to a train station? There is not a chance I'd wave a friend off alone just because I had a nice corner seat.

You offered, she declined. Most importantly, she got home safely so nothing actually happened to warrant this worry.

' think friend probably felt obliged to say she was ok walking alone because it was your birthday . The reality is she wasn’t . If you can’t all coordinate properly then I suggest you all use uber if you want to leave separately'

Exsctiy she of course wouldn't have wanted to spoil the night by being escorted. Better planning needed next time all round.

Does she not have a phone? Google maps is quite an effective /efficient tool... Why should one adult have to ensure another does what they decide not what they themselves have decided? What an odd suggestion..

Taxis don't always save you. Libby Squire was a 21 yo woman murdered in 2019. Her friends put her in a taxi, which dropped her home but it didn't save Libby.

No, you're fine imo. I'm pretty risk averse but even I think 9pm in a city is fine. In my city its nearly as busy as day time. Plus you offered and she declined. You are a good friend with nothing to worry about.

Glad you stayed and enjoyed your evening.

A friend gave me some tips 20 years ago for walking alone at night years ago (wear a cap, trainers, jeans etc - basically try to look like a man). Appreciate not always easy if on a night out!

Might also be worth carrying one of those mini bottles of hairspray in case you need to spray in someone's eyes!

It's a bit different when you're out for a night, drink taken and the girl got lost a few times which proves she actually wasn't ok walking alone. She could have ended up anywhere .

OP
I think the fact that your friend told you that she had got lost en route to the station indicates that she was not totally OK.

It may have been subconscious.
She felt conflicted.
She would have appreciated support but didn't feel entitled to it.

The op said there had been a lot of violence recently. Civil war has nothing to do with it

Friend 2 offered to get the train home with her at 9, Friend 1 declined. We offered to walk her to the station (20 minute walk each way for us which is quite lengthy) and she declined. Friend 1 said she would walk to the station alone while talking on the phone to a relative to feel safe.
We said goodbye and texted her soon after to make sure she got on the train okay

You did WAY more than I would have done. No way would I have offered to leave a cosy, warm place to walk someone a 40 minute round trip to the station.

I would have just told her to text us when she got home and thought no more of it for an hour or so.

Saraclara
You could have driven your colleague back to the venue ?

She should've got a taxi to the station. There is no way I'd want my dd walking alone at night. I accept that sadly women are attacked anywhere and anytime but you lessen the risk by staying with friends or getting taxis.

Maybe the next night out you all share lifts or agree on leaving times?