Was I unreasonable to let my friend walk to the train station alone on a night out?

I used to get the train home from work at that time. You didn’t do anything wrong.

I can't see what you did wrong. If she wants to leave that early it's on her to either get a taxi or uber to the station or walk there.

If you had accompanied her then the night out would have been over before 9.

When she said about not wanting to walk alone the next time did you remind her you gave her other options so she didn’t have to do that but she insisted?
Don’t feel bad, you all tried to offer to go with her but she said no.

I'm assuming she left around 8.30pm. There would no doubt be people around. She also declined any offers of help, as I would have done. YANBU

Given how young and unsteetwise you all are I think YABU and you should have found a way to walk your friend to the station. Especially on a Saturday night when she’s been drinking.

Who with any common sense would think walking alone to a train station On Her Phone is a safety measure! It’s the opposite. Increases risk of robbery, assault. You should have all chipped in for an Uber for her or walked her to the station then found another bar near there.

Of course you did nothing wrong. You can't be expected to take 40 minutes out of your evening to walk someone to the station. If she's worried about walking alone she can just get a taxi to the station, surely? Guessing you can't have Uber where you are but you must have taxis, no?

🙄🙄

I wouldn't think twice about a 1 mile walk through a city centre at 8.30pm. I most definitely wouldn't expect to be escorted to the station by my friends, if they were still enjoying their evening out.

I might be pissed off if the pre-agreed arrangement was that everyone would be going to the station at 9pm, and then the others changed their minds, if I had been wary of making the walk, but that wasn't the case here.

You did nothing wrong OP!

Dd is 19 and at university in a city, she walks practically everywhere and I doubt her friends always escort her. If they're out late and are drunk they get Ubers back to the accommodation.

A fully grown woman doesn't need escorting to a train station in the city at 9pm! I'd imagine it's much safer to be in a busy city than somewhere remote having to walk. You're overthinking this.

Indeed. Sometimes I am still making my way home from work at that time.

I would be mightily pissed off if my friends ‘insisted’ on ordering a taxi for me for a 20 minute walk at 8.30pm.

You’re very lucky and/or live in a very safe place. I have been attacked on the streets four times. Two of those times I was with a friend and two I was a teenager and it wasn’t even night, just dark winter evenings. There’s nothing hysterical about it; women are often unsafe.

Ummm. If I never walked places alone after 9pm I would never go out.

You need to be aware of personal safety but come on! Surely at 9pm on a Saturday evening lots of people would be going to and from the station?

I walk alone. I find it irritating when others suggest I can't make this decision. In my county one person a week dies in a collision. Do we all insist others don't get in a car because it's not safe. You asked, friend said she was fine. I think this is the right approach.

I guess the loop ends at daybreak 😂

I wouldn't have walked alone after dark or been happy to have a friend do so. But as she's an adult and declined your offer, what can you do?

That said, tell your friend that one of the riskiest things she did was to be talking on her phone walking home. This makes her less safe, not moreso, as she's distracted. I recently went on a situational awareness/safety workshop (devised by retired security forces personnel, interestingly) and it's incredible how vulnerable you are when you're on the phone. She should have had both hands free, ideally holding her key between her fore- and middle fingers...

And then the volunteer has to walk back alone?

Sounds good, but I'm not sure I'd want a random male to meet me.

I wonder what became of BT's plans for a phone service aimed at protecting lone women walking home:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-58854578#:~:text=%22We%20are%20proposing%20to%20build,public%20transport%20or%20any%20journey.%22

No I couldn't. The town centre and one way system didn't work like that, and the venue was in a pedestrian zone.

It’s not that late, it doesn’t sound like a dangerous place, you offered and she declined. I can’t see how you were being unreasonable. It’s an adult’s own responsibility to ask for what they need (preferably in advance so everyone knows what’s happening) and to get themselves home safely. Sometimes I’ll ask if someone wants me to walk with them to the bus stop/train station out of politeness, but I’d be surprised if any of my friends actually said yes

9pm in my city centre is basically the same as 5pm. Pitch black, full of shoppers, a few groups of people walking bar to bar.

You offered, she declined.

I'd happily walk across my city centre at 11pm, it's well lit, full of people of all ages and activities walking around.

20 mins walk in a city centre isn’t even a long walk?

personally I feel a lot safer walking in a well lit, busy city centre than I do in a car with a random stranger I’ve never met before, licensed taxi or not.

i never get a taxi on my own if I can possibly avoid it. I would be fuming if friends made me get in one when I was quite happy walking.