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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Lasts too long in bed, get rid?

423 replies

jipor · 16/12/2024 12:22

Been on a few of dates with a colleague. Not had sex yet, was internally planning on it.

When discussing sex a few days ago, he sort of pre warned me that he lasts notoriously long. Usually not far off an hour.

I know, men say this to show off. But he said it knowing that I was soon going to find out. Plus, it was prompted by me saying that sex over an hour is too long for me.

AIBU or is that a ridiculous amount of time? I don't want to be having sex for that long?! I feel like cutting it off already, before having to endure that.

OP posts:
SybilTheSpy · 18/12/2024 09:47

Bettyboo111 · 18/12/2024 09:45

This thread is interesting. Most posters have a pretty fixed idea of what they want, which is to reach a single orgasm relatively quickly. It's a pretty rigid utilitarian view of sex.

if that's what they want, that's what they want. Not sure why some posters are so saddened by this 🤷‍♀️

Bettyboo111 · 18/12/2024 09:45

This thread is interesting. Most posters have a pretty fixed idea of what they want, which is to reach a single orgasm relatively quickly. It's a pretty rigid utilitarian view of sex.

Pyjamatimenow · 18/12/2024 09:41

In the bin

CameltoeParkerBowles · 18/12/2024 09:39

SybilTheSpy · 16/12/2024 12:43

Seeing as you're colleagues maybe call it off prior rather than post. Gotta factor in awkwardness when you're shuffling around each other making coffee at work. Will be less awkward not having shagged him.

This!

CameltoeParkerBowles · 18/12/2024 09:37

Oreosareawful · 16/12/2024 12:24

That's some claim to make if it isn't true!

I'm with you through OP, an hour is too much. Does he take that long when practicing 'self care'?

Haha! I'm going to use that expression all the time now.😂

Wingingit247 · 18/12/2024 09:18

Makelikeatreeandleaf · 16/12/2024 12:39

If someone was banging away on top of me for an hour I'd die of boredom.

Exactly, me too! I can see why you don’t fancy it much OP 😬

SatansBobbleheadedDashboardOrnament · 18/12/2024 09:13

jjx111 · 18/12/2024 09:10

My husband is a bit like that. Takes him absolute ages(due to an injury), so a quickie just doesn't work for him. I avoid sex completely these days as I get so bored, although we have a great relationship otherwise.

What... injury? 😳

Mittens67 · 18/12/2024 09:13

Is he taking viagra? My ex husband went on for bloody ages when he started taking this.
I hated it. Boring and borderline painful.

jjx111 · 18/12/2024 09:10

My husband is a bit like that. Takes him absolute ages(due to an injury), so a quickie just doesn't work for him. I avoid sex completely these days as I get so bored, although we have a great relationship otherwise.

moodybluehpc · 18/12/2024 08:47

Reading a book would be a better option and a lot more interesting

GiddyRobin · 18/12/2024 07:58

BoldAmberDuck · 18/12/2024 06:54

I’m I not aware of this. Why? What happens

Show quote history

The prostate is very sensitive. It'll either have them er..shuffling things along, or equally so horrified at the notion they'll not want to continue lest their fragile masculinity be shaken!

saffy2 · 18/12/2024 07:48

swimsong · 17/12/2024 14:17

I think that would be very rare and most likely due insensitivity because of drugs.

Once the thumb or tongue is in the right place and rubbing on the small pleasure button under the head, (uncircumcised helps obviously, otherwise lube), the vast majority of men are done in seconds rather than minutes - regardless of how long it would take through intercourse.

Even if it takes a bit longer, it's surely better than just lying there waiting for a guy to finish. I think a lot of older men have difficulty and find it embarrassing asking for something they associate with teenage sex. A lot of women don't climax from vaginal sex, why are men expected to?

Show quote history

I mean you’re just wrong. 🤷🏽‍♀️ a lot of men don’t finish quickly through those things, even when you know what you’re doing.

saffy2 · 18/12/2024 07:36

swimsong · 17/12/2024 11:03

I'm really not understanding why this is ever a problem for anyone. When you're ready, roll him on his back and finish him off by hand (or use a hand/mouth combination). A couple of minutes at most and the job's done, everyone's happy.

How does this simple and obvious solution not occur to people? Is it because of ingrained notions of man/active and woman/passive? Honestly, I'm baffled.

This comment tells me you haven’t ever experienced this. It’s not ancouple
pf minutes with men like this, and then I ended up hurt in my jaw and wrist aswell as my vagina…

BoldAmberDuck · 18/12/2024 06:54

PotatoLove · 17/12/2024 21:31

"Finger up the bum, Job done"

I’m I not aware of this. Why? What happens

CheeryPlum · 18/12/2024 06:11

gamerchick · 16/12/2024 12:53

Slipping a condom on and sticking a finger up their backside usually cures that quite quickly.

Nowt worse than a humper.

😂

CheeryPlum · 18/12/2024 06:09

If that includes time spent eating dinner, then ok. If not, it's either a no or he can start without me 😂

Or maybe he's so bad in bed that it feels like it lasts an hour - also a no 😩

Ezzee · 18/12/2024 05:50

My old fuckbuddy was like this, not from wanking or porn but from a vasectomy.
we used to stop when I was bored or done!

SnappyCritic · 18/12/2024 01:31

jipor · 16/12/2024 12:37

He said that doesn't include foreplay.

So needs about an hour of PIV sex to finish.

Really?! An hour of PIV sex???

Oh well...to each his own...

SnappyCritic · 18/12/2024 00:58

If you don't want opinions--don't ask.

Calliopespa · 18/12/2024 00:21

SybilTheSpy · 16/12/2024 12:43

Seeing as you're colleagues maybe call it off prior rather than post. Gotta factor in awkwardness when you're shuffling around each other making coffee at work. Will be less awkward not having shagged him.

And you really will be shuffling op - that’s if you can waddle about at all after his hammering at you.

Merrygoround8 · 17/12/2024 23:26

An hour PIV would be awful - he will have to find another way to finish!

gotmyknickersinatwist · 17/12/2024 23:15

An ex of mine liked marathon sessions. I did not. The excitement would run out, I'd be turned off and, frankly, starting to dry up. I'd be bored & wondering what was on the telly or thinking about someone something else.
The ex I had most fun with was intense & passionate & took nowhere near an hour. I'd get turned on knowing he was getting excited U& really enjoying it, and vice versa.
I wonder if he'd want to keep going even if you were running out of steam. His need to finish would be a big turn off, as would an inability to finish whilst you're still turned on.
I don't blame you for wanting to cut this short OP.

Arewethebadguys · 17/12/2024 23:12

Makelikeatreeandleaf · 16/12/2024 12:39

If someone was banging away on top of me for an hour I'd die of boredom.

Brilliant 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

ohime · 17/12/2024 23:03

Well, at least he warned you ahead of time. Sounds like he was giving you the option to back away before going further, and wouldn't be particularly surprised if you did.

GiddyRobin · 17/12/2024 22:41

DearDenimEagle · 17/12/2024 22:40

one position would certainly not cut it. Cramp would set in lol

The pride these fellows take when you can't walk the next day, too. Like no, sir. I am in pain and waddling like a duck because you nearly dislocated my hip and I have a UTI. 😂