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AIBU?

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Original poster

To call things off because of the way he dresses?

109 replies

revenp · 16/12/2024 12:09

I work in a healthcare so wear a uniform, man I've been on a couple of dates on often works in my department and is always in scrubs.

The way he dresses, really gives me the ick. I was so attracted to him before, but now I've seen him outside of work in his own clothes j barely am.

We haven't slept together yet.

Should I just get over this? I don't know how!

OP posts:
aloha0 · 16/12/2024 14:11

I had this with a work colleague. Fancied him inside of work (uniform role or smart office wear on some occasions).

Went out with him a few times but I just couldn't get on with his clothing... a favourite of mine was a cream, knitted, short sleeve jumper which was skin tight.

He wasn't exactly "ripped" either, so in this tight, short sleeve jumper you could see his "moobs" wobbling around as we walked down the street.

I know I sound like a b*tch but I just couldn't get past it.

I still see him in work sometimes and in the uniform I think "mmm I do fancy you". But then I remember what he wears outside of work and snap out of it.

Lighteningstrikes · 16/12/2024 14:10

I would if he is really nice.
If it goes anywhere, you can easily start to introduce new things to him 😁

Btw, you’re not shallow, a lot of guys just don’t have a clue.

BobbyBiscuits · 16/12/2024 14:08

Skinny jeans and Ted Baker. Hmmm...not great is it. The flouro boxers I wouldn't mind. I quite like men in tight novelty pants with stupid patterns. I got my bloke a tiny pair with kittens and disco balls all over it. Insisting it was erotic. To me it was!
But if he's physically attractive and nice then surely you could overlook it somewhat. Then if you get closer, gently guide him into something a bit cooler? Though many people would not want someone trying to change their style. I know I wouldn't appreciate it.

Beamur · 16/12/2024 14:07

He's just not matching your vibe. Fine to decide it's not working for you whatever the reason.

PaymentAccepted · 16/12/2024 14:05

It would have put me off in my twenties and now in my fifties!

I have rejected a man because of clothes before. Style can say a lot. And I am sure I have been rejected too based on looks. Which is fine.

At the initial attraction stage, people can be as particular as they wish!

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 16/12/2024 14:03

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 16/12/2024 12:40

I don’t think you mean this, or at least I hope not

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Tight pants and trousers can reduce fertility perhaps this is the point?

LlynTegid · 16/12/2024 14:02

You have an opinion that is valid, it is not for you, perfectly reasonable not to continue meeting.

Jeezitneverends · 16/12/2024 14:01

Any man who wears skinny jeans should be shot, never mind dumped 😂

AngelinaFibres · 16/12/2024 13:58

Worldgonecrazy · 16/12/2024 12:58

There isn’t a man alive who looks good in skinny jeans. Bin him

Women look horrific in skinny jeans too.

ItGhoul · 16/12/2024 13:38

I think people's clothes do tend to say quite a lot about them and their personality and personal taste. There are clothes I'm not especially keen on, but wouldn't be actively put off by - but there are certainly some clothes that would instantly tell me that someone wasn't the man for me.

OlympicWomen · 16/12/2024 13:31

Dotto · 16/12/2024 12:20

Are skinny-jeaned men less virulent I wonder?!

😂😂

Scully01 · 16/12/2024 13:28

How old is he exactly? I'd be put off as well, the fluorescent boxers peeking out sound horrendous, makes me think of Kurtan from This Country 😄

TypingoftheDead · 16/12/2024 13:23

IlooklikeNigella · 16/12/2024 12:38

This is so funny - sorry OP. How old are you? I dumped many men in my twenties over a jacket or shoes that I couldn't abide.

In fact I was once in a serious relationship with a guy who got a free jacket from work. It was horrible. I roared laughing when I saw it and asked him how he kept a straight face and what he was going to do with it. I couldn't believe my ears when he told me he was going to wear it and to prove his point he put it on right away. As he zipped it up he delivered the relationship ender "it's warm and that's the main thing."

Are you shallow? Am I? Who cares - you don't fancy him, get rid.

I just remembered - nothing to do with why I split with him, but I always thought my exes shoes were awful. We were early 30s but they were older man style 😂

Biroclicker · 16/12/2024 13:22

I thought yabu until you said skinny jeans. Bin bin bin.

sweetpickle2 · 16/12/2024 13:22

Sounds like he'd have been my dream man when I was 16 years old!

I agree someone dressing that outdated would privately give me the ick too OP. I'd find some other reason to dump him though as I wouldn't want to say that out loud!

fiorentina · 16/12/2024 13:21

I don’t think it’s shallow to be put off by bad dressing. Style is a personality facet just as much as interests in reading/sport/TV and perhaps you’re just not compatible.

BrightonFrock · 16/12/2024 13:20

revenp · 16/12/2024 12:18

Perhaps I'm just shallow?

I was so attracted to him right up until the point I saw how he was dressed in person.

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Attracted to him as a person, or just fancied him? If you think there’s something special about him personality wise, it’s probably worth trying to get over your dislike of his clothes. If you’re just thinking, “I really fancy him, but…”, it’s going nowhere.

CatsMagic · 16/12/2024 13:00

revenp · 16/12/2024 12:18

Perhaps I'm just shallow?

I was so attracted to him right up until the point I saw how he was dressed in person.

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I don’t think it’s about being shallow, it’s more about if you were really into him then you wouldn’t care about what he wears.

And that’s perfectly ok.

My DH could wear an old sack and I would think he looked gorgeous!

leafybrew · 16/12/2024 12:58

Yep, shallow.

I expect you'll be doing him a favour if you stop seeing him! 😉

Worldgonecrazy · 16/12/2024 12:58

There isn’t a man alive who looks good in skinny jeans. Bin him

VirginiaCreepers · 16/12/2024 12:55

Ha ha - so reminds me of a date that I went on in my early twenties. In those days office attire was very formal and he looked good in a suit and tie so I accepted invitation. He turned up with quite a few shirt buttons undone to show off a medallion nestling amongst his chest hair.

No second date.

Allthehorsesintheworld · 16/12/2024 12:54

revenp · 16/12/2024 12:14

So, I know this won't be an ick for a lot of people here. I think it may be generational, as he is a decade older than me.

Skinny jeans, fluorescent coloured boxers, all white Ted baker trainers. They're the worst parts for me.

I thought it was the scrubs giving you the ick. 😁
But his “day clothes” are very ick worthy. I dumped a bloke because he wore a cream jacket 🤷‍♀️ just couldn’t cope with it.

WrylyAmused · 16/12/2024 12:53

@Dotto I hope you mean virile!

Virulent = severe or harmful in its effects (of a disease).

I'm perturbed if skinny jeans somehow mean they're more likely to be dangerous to health!

And no, probably not less virile unless the jeans are cutting off all circulation....

Love @Allthegoodnamesarechosen 's GIF!

IAmNeverThePerson · 16/12/2024 12:51

But do you like him? Clothing can be changed, is he someone you like?

Oreyt · 16/12/2024 12:46

How old is he?