Aibu? it's not my responsibility to make sure teen DSD gets to school

What does doing it mean in your eyes?

clearly not open to it or she'd be doing it

There is literally nothing saying that! Great creative writing though

do you still cook their dinner, do their washing?
or are they old enough to do these things for themselves as well?

She said she feels, not it is the lived reality. You really are reading a lot into it

There is a child who, although not yours, is part of your family unit in your home under your care.

Teenagers are a pain and sometimes need a kick up the arse to get them into school on time. In time your dc will be just as painful at times!

You agreed she would be there when your dh wasn't and you therefore assume the in loco parentis role so it is petty not to follow through with/cherry pick within that.

If you don't want to be responsible for the child make it clear to your dh so he can take leave/adjust his hours to do the job. The consequence of that is he has less flexibility/using annual leave that you might prefer to use doing something else which seems silly when there is an adult around who could give her a prod.

Also not that unusual. Most teenagers will have to be up at 7.00 or earlier if they want any breakfast before walking to the bus stop in our area. Mine had to be out of the house by 7.45 at the very latest and the bus picks up at about 4 places before us so it will be significantly earlier for pupils getting on at the first stop. None of mine ever missed the bus more than once in the 7 years they each made the journey. They're not babies who need pandering to by the time they're secondary school pupils.

Hard no. If you took her in this morning she’d be lying in every morning knowing she has the safety net if you driving her. She need to sort out getting up in the morning and if it’s too hard, she needs to go to bed earlier.

Actually her Dad should be imposing an early night tonight. Bed by 9 and lights out.

They're probably so chilled because they don't have to think for themselves, or take responsibility for their actions as they know there will be somebody to enable their behaviour.

Any 15 year old who can't get out of bed needs a detention to teach them. I had a Saturday job at that age nobody got me up or drove me it was a 40 minute walk to be there at 8.30.
It's not your problem you woke her

Unfortunately OP's employer is not going to be 'chilled' if OP is frequently late to work.

Hence OP waking up DSD but letting her make her own way to school was the right decision.

I would be (calmly but firmly) informing my DH that I will not ever be blamed or made responsible for anything DSD does and that he vented his annoyance on entirely the wrong person this morning, which is unacceptable and unfair. It pays to nip this shit in the bud ime, you have enough on your plate and he has no business assuming you will fill in the gaps in his parenting of DSD.

I'm going by what OP says: "I always feel like H just leaves her to me in the morning. He goes off to work and I'm the one left to make sure she's got up."

If it truly was a one off, OP wouldn't be posting on Mumsnet about it.

It was a one off I have no Idea why you are projecting so much.

She is a teen they are all worn out with exams and a long term. Honestly thankfully the next gen appears a bit more chilled.

Whether she’s a DSD or a DD doesn’t really matter here. She’s 15 and it’s on her to get herself up and off to school, she’s well old enough. Not the DSM problem, who in this case has enough on her plate.

Yes, it’s a win-win for DSD if she can count on a lift when late….a few extra rounds on the snooze button, plus a ride in a warm, dry car in the winter weather. Definitely an incentive here.

She is open to being a step-parent. But it's the parent's job to parent his dd, not OP's.

How old is she? DS10 gets himself up and ready for school every day as I leave for work before he gets up. It's not difficult!!

Thank you. Yes, it happens, so definitely not “delusional”.

She didn't mention 'one sleep in'. It stands to reason that if her DH leaves DSD to her every morning and OP is the one who has to make sure her DSD gets up then this going to keep happening again and again.

What incentive for DSD to be ready on time if she thinks her step-mum will give her a lift even if it makes her late for work?

good for you and your child.

I doubt this is the norm

maybe op shouldn't have settled into a relationship with someone who has a child if they weren't open to being a step parent

She mentioned one sleep in let's keep it factual! Leaving her to her wasn't defined.

given that she walks to school she clearly has already started taking responsibility and this wasn't stated to be a daily issue/fight/argument

not sure why everyone in this thread seems so against a step parent parenting a child in their care

Classic move. Man whose relationship breaks down finds a new partner. Dumps the responsibility of DC from previous relationship on new woman and heads off to live his life (in this case, leaving for work without doing any parental duties) with minimal disruption.