Our cousins took our inheritance and gave it to their mother, I feel I can't carry on acting as if nothing has happened

Would you be prepared to hand over your share of the inheritance to your struggling sister? I'm just asking because that might put you on a better moral footing to fight this on her behalf.

Then I'd send a letter to cousin and aunt, and also ring them saying "I gather from DSis that all of Uncle X's estate has been given to Aunt. As you must know, that is not the correct legal position. If you had asked me and my sister to formally relinquish our share on the basis that it's what uncle X would have wanted then we would have considered it. But instead you have ignored us and written our DMum out of history. In addition, DSis's illness has left her in a financially difficult position and she now really needs her share of the inheritance [and mine as well which I will hand over to her / optional].

If you are not prepared to distribute Uncle X's estate in accordance with the law I'm afraid we will have to seek legal assistance."

The process isn't about suing. That would be a private action.

Think of the probate court as more like a government dept with legal powers to compel the admistrator to act according to the rules, and to order the admistrators to compensate you where the estate has been distributed incorrectly.

Give them a ring and find out what they can do. You probably don't have to pay.

Ultimately OP, you need to decide whether to sue the executor for your share of the estate, or let it go.

Personally I would sue them for it, but then I never let anything go.

I think your relationship is dead either way.

Is this the spouse that works for a legal firm?

what do they do? Are they someone whose job/career will be massively impacted by committing fraud?

If so I’d write to both of the administrators reminding them of their personal liability to distribute the estate within the intestacy laws and give them 7/14/28 days to do so or you’ll be forced to go down legal routes.

Now, even if you don’t intend to go down the legal route this is a free way to remind them that you know they’ve broken the law, you know they are personally responsible and you could sue.

I had to do this and the realisation that their carer would be fucked saw the money land in my account very quickly!

Why the hell are you bothered about a possible reconciliation with these people, or thinking about going to see them next week, when they have - to put it bluntly - fucked you both over? They don't give a shit about you and your sister.

Please book an appointment to see a solicitor.

This is also something very important to consider, but which is often overlooked, when it comes to inheritance: anything (whether of financial or just sentimental value) that goes to one person will almost certainly then eventually pass to their children.

It may seem 'obvious' that the single surviving sibling was the closest to the deceased person, and so should get it all; but although it may be tacitly understood that, when they die, it will then all be split equally between all of the family of the next generation down - all of the originally-deceased person's nieces and nephews or grandchildren - but this virtually never happens in reality. This is one major reason why the intestacy law is set up as it is.

To add: going on how they've conducted things, I'm confident that the cousins will have been well aware of this all along. However much they may insist that it should all have gone to their mother, as his only surviving sibling, without a doubt, they will have been reckoning on it ending up with them after her death.

'Your estate is divided equally between the nearest equal relationship - so that will the the sister. Look it up - I was in law'

Were you the tea lady @NavyTurtle ?

It's this type of dithering that's probably made them feel empowered to divide it as they saw fit and bit how they should have.

Be direct- ask where your and sisters share is ? And if they ignore or reply that it's gone elsewhere- engage a solicitor to wrote the initial letter and that should be enough to scare them to put it right. Do it before they tie the money up elsewhere. Tbh OP I can't believe you've left your poor sister whose already suffering so much having to wait if that was my sibling and she was struggling so much to ask I wouldn't be caring about what my aunt thought right now if they've effectively stolen from my dying sibling!

So they've clearly lied about the existence of your mum.

What despicable people. Please follow this up OP and get the money for yourself and your sister. As others have said, if your uncle genuinely wanted this outcome, he'd have made a will stating it. He didn't. And your greedy cousin and spouse have not only made sure the money will eventually come to them, but they've actually had the gall to cut off your terminally ill sister because she dared ask about it. Awful, awful people.

You need to protect your sister now. The right thing to do is to get the money that is rightfully yours. These arseholes clearly expect you just to meekly roll over (and tbh it looks like they're not wrong about that). Don't let them!

THIS is why it's crucial for anyone with property to leave a will, properly drawn up and witnessed.

You shouldn't talk to the cousins about this but you should instruct the solicitor to take it further. What a bloody cheek they have.

Have you contacted the court?

They can compel the admistrator to comply with the rules of intestacy.

Worked in the post room at a firm of solicitors, possibly.

With respect you need to stop being so passive and do something. If you don't want to consult a solicitor then write to your cousin and express how you feel and that you are going to consult a solicitor. Stop worrying about their feelings and do what is right for your sister.

Sorry, but why would you leave this up to your cousins to sort? So many people fall out over money and inheritance. I would never ever just assume someone would sort it all fairly. You should have shown up to deal with the paperwork alongside your cousins.

This is correct IF your sibling had been your only sibling, or if any other siblings had already died without descendants.

Once you exist and have descendants, your own subsequent death doesn't change anything - everything that was yours and would later have been inherited by you will rightfully go to your children, notwithstanding any will that YOU may have made to the contrary.

The cousins are nasty liars, saying "Do what Uncle would have wanted" - if he didn't make a will, he can't have been all that fussed about what he wanted (or possibly he was happy with how intestacy law would dispose of his estate for him).

This is a similar principle as with people who choose not to marry but then somehow expect the law to know/assume/guess whom they would theoretically have wanted to be treated as though they were a spouse. In both scenarios, you have only two choices: either you take the necessary basic legal steps to make your wishes clear (make a will or marry) or otherwise you accept that the authorities will make the decision for you, based on strict laid-down procedures.

I think you need to find your anger OP. The last thing id be worried about is their feelings when they have shown you, they care very little for yours. Considering the dire health of your sister makes their actions even more despicable.

Your estate is divided equally between the nearest equal relationship - so that will the the sister. Look it up - I was in law.

If you were ever "in law" you'd know better than to give incorrect advice online and pass yourself off as some sort of expert. This is shocking.

Well solicitor first. Then depending on what they say you could speak to your relatives and tell them to expect a letter from your legal-as there are some concerns re the willl?

Do you really want to have a relationship with people who would treat your terminally ill sister like that.

I would send them a letter letting them know if it is not resolved by 1st January (ie you and your sister receive your shares into your bank accounts) you will have to take legal action. I would highlight that your sister is terminally ill and defrauding her at this time is unforgivable.

If you don’t need the money yourself give it to your sister, does she have children. It is awful that they would treat her like that.

Gosh, I’d definitely pursue it. Whether you first wish to approach them to give them the opportunity to put it right, and then pursue it if they refuse to do so. Even if you don’t want your share, your sister could be relieved of money worries at a critical time.

If the executor pays it out from their own resources, it is only because they denied you and your sister of your rightful inheritance in the first place. They appropriated it. They are looking after themselves too, as they will be the sole beneficiaries of it in the long run. Imagine blocking a cousin with cancer because they themselves pulled a fast one. Many people wouldn’t be so callous with a stranger. It’s rock bottom for your sister and they have treated her appallingly. I wouldn’t be under the illusion they have any family feelings towards you or your sister.

We nearly had this when a relative died and my aunt who was in contact with the deceased relative told the solicitor there were no other living relatives. My uncle spotted one of the ads in the paper asking whether anyone knew of living relatives of the deceased relative. My mum was dead so my two sisters and I shared her portion. Interestingly the advertisement was placed in the South London Press newspaper although the relative was in Devon. I think initially I would contact the aunt directly by a recorded letter saying that by law you and your sister were due part of the inheritance and that you now want her to pay you your share. Follow up if you don’t hear back with another letter saying if you have to take it to court it will be your share, plus interest,plus a payment for stress caused and your legal costs. If she agrees to pay ask to see paperwork showing what was left after probate.

You seem to understand jurisdiction, OP. The PPs who provide definitive advice without being certain of your location and presuming the law is the same as where they live should be an eye-opener.