Sister always showing off about designer life

Call her out on it. I get it that you now have money and can afford things that you weren't able to before but it's a little crass to talk like that.

I am happy without designer nonsense do I would be eye-rolling internally and then laughing about it later with DH. Our priority is sustainability so we try to buy as much second-hand as possible.

I would find her attitude juvenile and amusing.

Sorry I should have said “if she has kids”

It’s not about how boring / exciting you find the conversation is it? That’s irrelevant.

Most newlyweds act loved up. It’s an opportunity for a kind sister to check if all is well, and to move the conversation on to more interesting topics.

oh god, the only thing I'd find more boring than someone boasting about their designer handbag is twittering on about how in love they are.

If my sister gave me a detailed breakdown about her romantic trip to the cinema with her husband I'd be feigning a phone call. What is there to even say? "He bought me popcorn out of his own account rather than the joint one and held my hand through the scary bits?" That's like a breakdown of your first date as a 14 year old. Surely two adult sisters have something more interesting to talk about!

Could you have an affair with DS's DH? This way you could get some of the designer gear she gets?

When she starts spouting off..fix a bored expression on your face and start talking about something else.

This is quite a nasty thread. If you’re truly happy in your own life I don’t see why it bothers you. Surely most normal people are happy for their friends/family if they’re able to achieve their goals, whether that’s buying lots of designer stuff or having a family.

Presumably it was fine when you could afford to splash out on these things? It does sound like there’s some jealousy there but it was your choice to give up work!

A good friend married a very rich and generous man and for a little while she was talking about this or that they spent or bought because she was verbally marvelling in some wonder that she was in this situation. (Her DH kept from her how rich he was and since they had met while both working abroad and she did not even meet his family or see his UK house until they were engaged it did stay hidden really). It was temporary thankfully because she is not a complete arse.

But if your sister is just being an arse then some of the responses on the thread are golden.

Maybe the OP is being a baby bore, and her sister is reacting to that?

Op I can understand how galling and irritating this is but play the long game, just smile and nod your head, maybe add in the odd bit of gently mocking humour and let it all wash over you.

You know what the truly valuable things in life are, as does every other intelligent person who doesn’t buy in to consumerist clap trap.

Your sister can choose to be side-tracked if she wants. She has some insecurities obviously to be this way. Just repeat the sentence, “that’s nice but I have other priorities atm thanks” and let your dsis strut about and make herself look ridiculous!

It can get a bit tiring when someone does that constantly, even if they are not doing it in a malicious way.

You need to do what my friend did- her sister married a man with money and she started to buy only designer clothes and go on and on about how she couldn't decide whether to wear Prada or Chanel today.
My friend said "I'm afraid that if you're trying to impress me, it's not working, as I think designer clothes are a big con". Silence!

I went through something similar with my best friend. She got together with her very well off now husband, and for a while it felt like every time I spoke to her the conversation essentially boiled down to "I did this really awesome thing the other day, it was amazing, you'd have loved it, but I didn't invite you and you couldn't have afforded it anyway." Then she'd realise how much she'd been bigging up her life and try to save it with the ghastly "so, what's exciting in your life?" (The answer being nothing, because I was broke and single).
Yes, I was jealous, and that took some internal processing, but also she has learned over time to moderate her conversation for her audience (and that inviting a direct comparison is tactless). Just took a bit of time for things to settle.

I didn’t go round talking about how much in love we were when a newly wed, even though we were! She was probably used to doing all those things before she got married anyway!

She’s got the new money mentality. You’d be surprised how many are like this (work in luxury industry) let her get on with it. She’ll soon realise how little value these things hold in the grand scheme of things.

Are we talking a couple of million, 50+ million or hundreds of millions? Because there’s a vast difference between the odd LV bag and a whole collection of exotic skin Birkins 😏

Let her comments be water off a duck’s back. You know that designer goods and being impressive to others are not what’s important in life.
Turn it round so that rather than feeling less than, you inwardly roll your eyes and actually take pity on her for thinking that stuff matters.

What stands out for me is that as a newly wed, I would expect your sister’s conversation to centre around how in love they are. Things they do together, such as trips out, country walks, meals, cinema etc. Not material items.

I would say that since having your twins, the things you love about your life have changed. I would ask her if the relationship is ok and if she is happy.

agree with some of the other posters

be honest...is it likely that before you had your babies and she got married, did you often (even if not deliberately) talk about things you'd bought, holidays you'd been on, improvements you wanted to make to your house, all things that she couldn't afford? In which case she's just doing the same back.

She might even think it's a good thing, i.e. thinking my sister is obviously interested in nice things because she buys and talks about them all the time, for ages I couldn't contribute to the conversation but now I finally can, it's nice we can chat about things we are both interested in...

Rise above it. She's just enjoying having more disposable income and being a bit thoughtless about it. Can you honestly say you weren't the same when you had more money? My brother earns a lot more than me and wears designer clothes, shoes etc and in general has less outgoings than me. I just tap him of his knowledge of brands and actually he's very fun to go shopping with. He doesn't initiate conversation about brands or skincare but if you ask is quite knowledgeable and it's just another thing to show an interest and connect on.

But you say yourself that you used to be quite well off before having kids and have now realised that money isn’t everything. So you clearly highly rated having a lot of disposable income then. You also say that she didn’t talk about high end things previously as she couldn’t afford them (and honestly you come across a bit judgy in this). It’s not much of a surprise that she’s excited that she can afford them now.
You do sound a bit envious - if you really are happy with what you have then just rise above it and don’t let it bother you.

I had a friend who was similar and constantly bleat on about wealth while looking down on me and our old practical car. I dropped her. The irony was we earned more than her and her dh, she just assumed we didn’t. She knew what I earned (nhs banding) but not dh so made a poor guess. I never corrected her because it’s not her business but it did get hilarious and second hand embarrassing.

Harder to do with a sibling, but I’d tease my brother if he did that. My brother is in finance and very wealthy yet he never makes that a thing when we meet up. (I also have twins plus an older one - they’re expensive!)

So you used to "spend recklessly"
Now you have twins, you can't.

She used to bee too poor for reckless spending
But now is.

You're lives are like a weather house and completely out of step.

You enjoyed wealth when you had it. She's now doing the same.#

#Not everyone becomes interested in hearth and home just because that's what's occupying you now.

I think you need to become considerably more tolerant.

And learn to change the subject politely without character assassinations on others and smugness about your own life

I think changing the subject and moving on is useful “… sure but what did you actually want to catch up on beyond shopping…”

Spending money on stuff then endlessly telling people about it tells you more about them than you - I tend to think “But have you used all your ISA allowance? Have you opened JISA for the DC? What is your pension looking like?” in my mind in those situations. Maybe those would be interesting to ask if she is apparently so rich 😚

And frankly if someone wants to fritter their money on stuff I think is a waste of money, in the end - go for it, it keeps the world going around

Maybe you just need to say something now before it gets too annoying?
It's nice she can afford what she wants, but it's a bit tone deaf to call your choices cheap. She's being a bit tactless.