Glazed expression during conversations

I definitely notice people that don’t have conversation skills. They want to talk about themselves and only themselves.

I’ve always told my kids 2-way conversation is a life skill and should be like a tennis match, with involvement on both sides.

I glaze over reaaaally quickly since I changed to a different SSRI.

Oh I hate it when people look bored as soon as I start talking, or when they interrupt / start talking to someone else. As a person with social anxiety, it makes me feel awful and boring! YANBU.

I hear you, OP. I had an interesting interaction with an acquaintance who said that she felt like I was waiting to be asked questions whereas all her other friends just butt in with their opinions. It made me realise that that is exactly what I was doing and perhaps that's even a bit passive aggressive in this day and age! So I've resolved to be a bit more assertive in conversation and just say "I must tell you about...." rather than waiting for somebody to ask me.

How many people give us their full attention when we talk? I have noticed that many people seem to be busy or distracted all the time. They are busy with their phones, distracted by things going on around them, in a rush and unable to spend much time actually conversing.

I know quite a few people like this, and they are all on the spectrum. All talk without taking a breath for a long time and I do the verbal nods etc but it's not a conversation a lot of the time. They just have so much in their head. I find I have to get firm and say "can you let me talk" which works 😆

Some people really can't help it!! I have always glazed over (my entire life) and there's nothing I can do to stop it. My mind just suddenly switches to something else even when I'm very interested in what's being said. I'm actually well known for being a very nosey person so I love hearing what people say but after a few minutes something comes into my head and I know I must have a glazed expression.
It's nothing to do with boredom. I think some people just really have problems ficussing their attention for more than a few minutes.

I agree.
I think also that some people are so used to permanently having their noses in their phones, and flitting from one thing to another, they find it difficult to give an actual person their attention for more than a few seconds. They say what they want to say, and are then too impatient to listen to the other person.

I do get that some people have neurodiverse needs so their communication styles are different, or that some people lack social skills, or that they are just plain rude, for for majority of people communication skills should be a core skill. I do think social media and our new ways of interacting are to blame!

I completely agree with you but I am sometimes guilty of doing this myself if I'm not too careful. I work in a profession where we use communications skills in active listening, paraphrasing, asking open/direct questions etc which tbh I feel are skills everyone should have. When conversing with other people either at work or socially, I often find other people aren't interested in me or what I have to say, maybe I'm just a super boring person!

TBH I get a glazed look on my face listening to my own conversation let alone the person I'm talking to.

Someone in work is like this - thankfully they are still mostly in the office and I wfh. She is awful.

I used to have to travel with her - she is senior to me- and it felt like torture. I had only recently come out of hospital after a bad asthma attack once and someone in work was asking about me. Despite not being in the conversation she suddenly started rattling on about when she nearly died from pneumonia

Dear OP, I mostly switch off instantly since childhood, when someone goes on about stuff that doesn't directly involve my life.
As for the "glazed expression", I used to put a very good mask on, until about the age 42,
when I dropped these "talkers" and feel fine.
😉

Yes I know a couple of people like that. It probably isn’t you. The two I know are very self centred and can’t hide it well, they glaze over if I talk about anything they aren’t interested in even when they asked me a question about it, even a short answer. I know they are thinking about themselves when the glazing over happens because they’ve actually told me.

Yes, some people have poor social skills, OP and are particularly bad at being an active listener, or just plain rude.

Even if you find a story boring, and I'm sure we are all boring to others at times, you should listen politely and react.

I have received it when people were not interested in talking to me, they could glaze 5 words in. At least once the person was actually listening, has autism and zones out visually but is actually listening. It's the only way they could seem to maintain eye contact but their try too hard backfired.
I have done it due to anxiety or preoccupied by something worrying me or happening soon. Sometimes it's because I have been so drained and tired. When I was young and beautiful sometimes people zoned out taken back by my appearance. I have zoned out at someone i found so intimidatingly handsome. Sometimes i can't concentrate because i'm so distracted by how much they look like someone else or trying to place their accent ironically at missing out on what they're actually saying. I would keep it brief, shift body language and voice tone if i felt like someone is drifting off and they need to be listening. Likw saying SO! very enthusiastically and loudly or saying VERY IMPORTANT before summing up or repeating. If it's just social inconsequential chat I just wrap it up by smiling and turning away for example.

Me too - I barely get a grunt if I start mentioning holidays or anything else I need him to be actively interested in!

Well, either you keep encountering poor listeners, or what you’re saying is deeply boring. I note you say the glazing over happened in one case when you’d only been talking ten seconds — it seems to me the key thing here is what you were talking about? I mean, I am genuinely interested in people but ten seconds on Arsenal’s chances in the PL, office politics or I’m A Celebrity and I would be praying for death.

That’s an adhd trait to start sharing your own opinion immediately, without realising the story isn’t about you.

It doesn’t explain the lack of questions though, unless people just don’t want my answer! Makes me feel like I’m doing an interview though when a whole interaction is just the other person talking to me.

I never ask MIL questions, not because I'm not curious but because she barrages me with a billion questions, it's constant, and I feel like I'm in an interrogation and talking about things I didn't want to really talk about, because she inevitably asks follow up questions on the same thing and it's very uncomfortable. Some people find it hard to take control of the conversation when you keep asking lots of questions.

Also did you interrupt coffee friend before she'd quite finished? I switch off a bit when people interrupt me when I was trying to say something because it makes me feel like they weren't listening, just waiting to say their own thing. It sounds like her behaviour made you feel like you weren't listened to, so I do sympathise.

@Drivingoverlemons in my defence I know he does the same thing to me when I ramble on so I don't feel too bad about it 😂

Being able to listen is a skill. An often underrated skill.

Too many people think it is important that they have something to say and see conversation as a platform not an interaction.

Dont even get me started on work situations where they are reading emails or tapping away whilst someone is explaining something important. Especially when they ask the person to repeat it.