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Original poster

Men who quit their jobs to avoid CM payments...

140 replies

Dweetfidilove · 16/12/2024 08:48

How do they afford to live? I often read about exes that have quit their jobs to avoid paying CM. Are there that many self-employed/cash in hand/family support set ups that enable them to not work?

How do they pay their other bills? Where do they live? Presumably they're not all on benefits, as if they are, the DWP requires them to find employment at some point and sanctions them if they don't.

Surely you wouldn't just choose a life of struggle, just to spite your ex and children?

If your ex has given up his job to avoid CM payments, how does he support himself?

OP posts:
ARichtGoodDram · 16/12/2024 09:14

DarkAndTwisties · 16/12/2024 09:07

A SAHD I could see a new partner being on board with, but how has he found someone happy to just fund an unemployed man??

Show quote history

They’re very clever and manipulative men.

The sob stories they give people are seemingly plausible.

When I worked for CMS briefly I had one woman running to berate us that we were taking “even more” money from her partner when he was “already paying £1000 a week”. It was only when I asked her how he was doing that from his £25k a year job that she stopped her rant and the penny dropped for her that he was an utter bullshitter.

One chap I dealt with screwed his own life up. Worked for new gf’s dad off the books. Put the house in her name. Car in her name. Everything in her name. Plead poverty to CMS. Was royally screwed himself when they split up and nothing was his…

MyPithyPoster · 16/12/2024 09:14

Dweetfidilove · 16/12/2024 09:12

Are there that many women happy to fund an unemployed man to facilitate him not looking after his children? I'd be terrified of getting pregnant by such a feckless, spiteful dud ☹️.

I have a young adult daughter and I can completely see how this happens. I really can.
She has been educated. She has been to university. She is a smart woman who deserves an equal partner. But she waste her time with deadbeats. You can already tell their deadbeats at 23.

MyPithyPoster · 16/12/2024 09:12

The child support service in this country is an absolute joke. I have experience of both the American and the Australian system and they simply would not get away with it in either of those for example.
My ex genuinely lost his job. It wasn’t anything malicious on his part. But of course I’m nearly £5000 out of pocket because if he’s not earning it he can’t pay it but funnily enough. The child did not stop costing me money during that period of time so now I’m £5000 in Debt.

In both Australia and America, it wouldn’t be me that would be in Debt. It would be him.
And he had the absolute audacity to pay for a big ticket item while he was unemployed and put it on his credit card which was essential to the child’s well-being. And tried to tell me he was going to deduct that out of future payments. That will not be happening.

Original poster
Dweetfidilove · 16/12/2024 09:12

Are there that many women happy to fund an unemployed man to facilitate him not looking after his children? I'd be terrified of getting pregnant by such a feckless, spiteful dud ☹️.

OP posts:
brummumma · 16/12/2024 09:12

Because a lot of men think CMS gets spent by the mothers on themselves as it doesn't enter their tiny brains that raising a child costs money - food clothes shoes school costs etc and they think we are living the life of luxury

It should be against the law and there should be a block on receiving benefits if you have a CMS claim against you

Original poster
Dweetfidilove · 16/12/2024 09:10

Hoardasurass · 16/12/2024 08:51

They work cash in hand or go self employed and fiddle the books like my ex did (until the tax man caught him and dobbed him in to the csa🤣)

Excellent! Hope they've collected every penny owed 🤣.

OP posts:
Edingril · 16/12/2024 09:10

DarkAndTwisties · 16/12/2024 09:07

A SAHD I could see a new partner being on board with, but how has he found someone happy to just fund an unemployed man??

Show quote history

There is a lot of gullible women out there

RosieLeaf · 16/12/2024 09:09

DH could give up work and be a SAHD if we wanted to, I would be able to pay the bills especially with childcare savings.

He wouldn’t, but we easily could.

DarkAndTwisties · 16/12/2024 09:07

TheyCantBurnUsAll · 16/12/2024 09:00

My x moved in with his new woman and she finds him

A SAHD I could see a new partner being on board with, but how has he found someone happy to just fund an unemployed man??

TheyCantBurnUsAll · 16/12/2024 09:00

My x moved in with his new woman and she finds him

beetr00 · 16/12/2024 08:57

@Dweetfidilove I do think the CMS should apply "deprivation of assets" in these instances.

The same as they do with care for the elderly.

Sadly, the CMS seems incredibly ineffectual and it's the children who suffer rather than the parent trying to evade their responsibility.

KvotheTheBloodless · 16/12/2024 08:54

Acappuchinoplease · 16/12/2024 08:52

My ex had a baby with his new partner, quit his job to be a sahd to save on childcare and maintenance

Shock What a shitbag! Completely ignoring the fact that he has at least one other child to provide for.

Mydoglovescheese · 16/12/2024 08:53

Let their new partner fund them

Acappuchinoplease · 16/12/2024 08:52

My ex had a baby with his new partner, quit his job to be a sahd to save on childcare and maintenance

Hoardasurass · 16/12/2024 08:51

They work cash in hand or go self employed and fiddle the books like my ex did (until the tax man caught him and dobbed him in to the csa🤣)

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