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Original poster

To feel so fed up of struggling as a single mum

35 replies

mum10103 · 15/12/2024 21:03

I am just so fed up of struggling - mainly financially. Despite working whilst juggling the kids I still just about get by which I know I should be grateful for and we have a roof over our heads. I think this time of year the pressure is really on, I am fed up of seeing family's going on nice Christmassy days out, holidays etc and frustrated at not being able to do the same. I am struggling to get presents, various school and club collections which I haven't managed to put into this year, I work so hard, in a school and then have 4 cleaning jobs I do round this to boost my income, with the rising cost of living I can barely keep up. I took the kids out to our local town today with family, we went ice skating which was lovely its the only festive treat they've had and was paid for by a family member who sends money each Xmas and I put a bit towards it. I couldn't afford to buy them dinner there as a burger was nearly £10 each and hot chocolate £4ish so they shared some chips for dinner and I'd brought some snacks and drinks from home. I couldn't afford for them to go on any rides like the rest of the family so we just watched the others. I just felt so down keep telling them no, they do understand but it just feels so rubbish not being able to treat them. I literally cried on the way home as I just feel like I'm failing them despite my best efforts.

OP posts:
Original poster
mum10103 · 15/12/2024 21:23

Thank you everyone, sad to hear I am not alone in this! The children are all a bit old for children centres type activities, 6-14 years old. Their dad doesn't contribute at all and I already have a csa claim open with about £6k of arrears he's built up, he now quit his job to avoid paying. But that's another story. I do have a little family support in that my dad had the kids while I work longer hours a couple of days.

OP posts:
SlimMcSlim · 15/12/2024 21:22

Newname85 · 15/12/2024 21:18

OP, I’m not struggling but we don’t waste money on buying ridiculously expensive food at Xmas fairs. My kids go ice skating every year and that’s about it. I take snacks from home and I even take hot chocolate in a flask.

Same here. We went to an evening event last week - a (small) waffle was £7 and a hot chocolate £3. So £20 for my children to have both each. Crazy. I had brought a flask of hot chocolate and gingerbread from home - cost about £4 for ingredients instead!

Newname85 · 15/12/2024 21:20

There are plenty of free things you can do at home. Spend quality time with your children. Create unique family traditions and make memories. These are the things they’ll remember.

FranticHare · 15/12/2024 21:18

Your kids sound fabulous, that they understand and didn’t make a huge deal is a real testament to your good parenting.

Keep going. Something will get easier at some point. And as pp have pointed out, spending time with your kids doing free stuff is just as valuable as doing expensive stuff. A walk with hot chocolate in a thermos, collecting stuff to make a wreath with - memories for life. Or insert any other activity that works for you.

Speaking for experience.

Your kids may have wobbles at some point, but they will understand and be grateful for all you do for them as they get older.

Also, social media? Don’t believe all you see! Those photos are taken between the tears and the tantrums!

Newname85 · 15/12/2024 21:18

OP, I’m not struggling but we don’t waste money on buying ridiculously expensive food at Xmas fairs. My kids go ice skating every year and that’s about it. I take snacks from home and I even take hot chocolate in a flask.

s3tut0y3r · 15/12/2024 21:14

I am so sorry to hear you are struggling. However I am sure your children enjoyed the chips and feel loved. Time together is what makes memories imo. And having your own traditions you can do each year. This could just be taking a picture of the kids by the town tree each year. Having a caring hardworking mum means your children have a good role model.

I am just wondering whether the children's father contributes properly. Apologies if you are a widow. If he doesn't, this could be a route to take.

Your children are lucky to have someone who cares and works to support them. I hope you all have a good Christmas.

hazelnutvanillalatte · 15/12/2024 21:14

Where do you live? Look up childrens centres and single parent groups in your area. This weekend we were invited to panto, Christmas crafts, a soft play session, and a Christmas gift pickup (parents can pick free gifts for their kids to put under the tree) all free. Look up what is around, there might be more than you think. Good luck

tearsandtiaras · 15/12/2024 21:13

I hear you i hate this time of year! I end up on rationed budget of a few pounds a day November/ December to buy all the required family presents despite having a well paid professional job. I avoid all
Adult Christmas events as I can't afford to go to any so see no friends for ages so loneliness kicks in hars . Its a long 2
Months and i still feel like im failing my DD
Roll on january when all the forced expense is over!

Ablondiebutagoody · 15/12/2024 21:11

I wouldn't have eaten dinner there or gone on any rides either. I'm also on team snacks from home. We try to do free stuff. Various local museums put on Christmas themed things. Half a day in the woods collecting holly etc. to make a wreath, baking and decorating the Cristmas cake, Christmas movies at home, Christmas tree display and carols at the local church.......

Mrsttcno1 · 15/12/2024 21:11

Oh I’m sorry you’re struggling OP, you are doing the best you can and that is more than enough! I do think everything seems to be so expensive now, trips to see Santa, pantomime, Christmas markets etc it all adds up so quickly!