What was your position on Amber Heard & Johnny Depp

My impression was that women have to be a perfect, flawless, innocent victim in order to be believed. She wasn’t, so she wasn’t.

Men are held to a far, far lower standard.

I wish people wouldn't post this as its not what happened.

I believe her. Always did. It’s interesting that Winona Ryder went to a lawyer to make sure her earlier statements defending Depp and discussing her relationship with him were not used in court. There are interviews from when she was younger stating her first boyfriend was violent. And she was 17 when they first starting dating. He was in his late 20s.

Other girlfriends have also stated he was violent towards them.

He’s a minimally talented actor who has coasted on his looks and who has not had to live in the real world since he was a young man. He is surrounded by people who enable him and who need him for their own careers (the Deuters). I find him repulsive.

Water finds its own level.

Why is Amber an abuse victim but Johnny isn't?

Amber admitted to punching Johnny and then called him a baby for mentioning it.

Amber was arrested for domestic violence with her ex girlfriend.

I don't think either of them are victims.

I'm curious as to why you only believe her, when she was caught lying?

I thought the awful things JD wrote about her showed him to be a disgusting person and was surprised when he seemed to come out of it all largely unscathed.

I was with Amber 100%. People expect victims to be perfect, and she wasn't.

I am aware I am biased because I have been entertained by Depps acting roles and by him being himself at times...

I should think they're both fucking awful to live with, horrible substance abuse issues and the behaviour that comes with that.

I don't doubt that either could be pretty easily provoked into a violent response, though I actually don't buy that he hit her, actually I think the fact he did not batter her senseless actually infuriated her as she really wanted to be able to play the downtrodden victim... as evidenced by the myriad lies she told, and was caught out in.

They should have walked away from each other, but she wasn't willing to let that happen... she tried to destroy him, and failed.

Really, the classic 'play stupid games, win stupid prizes' outcome.

I agree they had a very toxic relationship. Both abused drugs and alcohol. Amber Heard apparently researched his likes and dislikes before working with him on the Rum Diary and brushed up her knowledge of the kinds of art/poetry/literature or whatever he was into to help foster a relationship. I think she did see him as a stepping stone in her career -he did assist her in securing auditions she probably wouldn’t have been considered for had she not been involved with him. He was vain enough to think an exceptionally beautiful woman 20 years his junior wanted him for himself only, and was dumb enough to believe she shared his interests.

What discredited Amber entirely for me was the difference in her demeanour during the divorce deposition recordings and her court testimony. She came across as totally unconvincing in court. Also the constant illicit recordings - she had a lot of footage, most of which didn’t support her statements. I don’t understand why someone apparently in fear for their safety was so intent on gathering recordings that mostly showed him to be out of his head/passed out or damaging household property on one of them. Surely if he was assaulting her some if it at least would show on the recordings? She also appeared to lie in court - no-one believes she was uninvolved in alerting the press to her departure from court with the alleged cheek bruise after getting a restraining order. She definitely flat out lied in court about the donation to the charities, and only backtracked when she had absolutely no wiggle room.

I do think the character witnesses on both sides were relevant in the outcome, it made her appear spiteful, greedy and arrogant, exactly in keeping with her behaviour in the divorce deposition. Depp is apparently Mr Friendly to all - in spite of those horrendous texts he sent(!). I’m not saying either was accurate but it must’ve swayed the jury. His legal team did an outstanding job. Hers was outclassed entirely but AH was a very unsympathetic witness.

I’m really uncomfortable with accusations of abuse being made in the media or on social media (even if they are veiled, implied ones like this started out) when there’s been no criminal enquiry. There was definitely a torrent of these SM accusations at this time due to Me Too and loads of them ended up proved in court, but I don’t think the public accusations are the right way to go about it. If someone is in the public eye and police won’t pick it up then investigative journalists will often take it on, finding other victims etc and ultimately force a criminal enquiry - why not approach them instead of tweeting it?

I genuinely don’t think either of them thought the story would run and run the way it did, but once it had legs both clearly felt they had to stick to their guns.

It’s appalling the way she’s been mauled and mocked by trolls, and the threats are disgusting.

She didn't write that for people to enjoy. Sick that you enjoyed watching abuse victims suffer.

Glad you support giving abusers power and think abuse victims suffering is entertaining and funny.

Abhorrent.

Well shitting in someone's bed is just wrong

In this case only Amber had been arrested previously for domestic abuse.

Why do you think Amber is the victim?

Mutual abuse is a myth, there is almost always a dynamic of primary perpetrator and victim. Often (and in this case) a victim fights back and does not appear as blameless and perfect and society expects. The power imbalance between them was clear, and his misogyny is disgusting. Just look at the way he talked about her in texts to his friends. The misogyny she experienced during the 2022 trial was completely horrendous and in 20 years everyone will look back and be shocked at her treatment, in the way we now look back on how Monica Lewinsky was treated, for example.

The public sided with Jonny because he came across as the more honest, straight forward one. No one was surprised he was an addict. She came across as shady and vindictive which people dislike.

Amber Heard made it public by writing an oped.

I think who the victim is ( they both seem abusive) is up for debate.

As for entertainment, it was entertaining. She was dramatic and got caught lying multiple times, he's an unapologetic addict who has always had dry sense of humor.

The relationship was toxic, they were probably both abusive but Depp is a beloved male actor and she was never going to win the public vote.
She’s done the best thing she could and taken herself off to live a private life with her children.

The one where his mother had just died, and he was slamming cupboard doors? Where she deliberately filmed him in secret?

I think they're both people with baggage and issues. However I think that how they deal with it is the difference. I think she exploited him, used his vulnerabilities against him, and then tried to hang him out to dry.
He's no saint, by a long shot, and the whole thing has changed my perception of him, but I don't think his mind works the same way that hers does.
I watched the whole trial, and her testimony was full of holes, lacked credibility, and her witnesses were in the main, unreliable.

There was video evidence of him in their kitchen being an abusive drunk. People still didn’t believe that she was telling the truth and the libel claims were specious.

Agree with comments about Brad Pitt being vile too yet it’s Angelina Joliet’s fault not only did she steal him she then wouldn’t stand by him and help him she dared to put her/their children first 🙄

Wandering womb? Righto!

I believe her. He is a vile excuse for a human being and quite clearly a severe addict.

I don't believe she was 'innocent' as in she didn't provoke him or didn't give as good as she got in certain instances but the idea of a 'good victim' is just as vile.

She clearly has a Cluster B personality disorder. Most likely more than one

She is a violent abuser. It's on record.
JD is a mess and didn't come out well.
But she is pure poison.

But this is MN so man=bad and woman=misunderstood

And yet who writes all these threads that go : My mother is a narcissist ?