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Original poster

I’m buying my own Christmas presents agIn

139 replies

Lonelyelf · 15/12/2024 16:24

NCed for this as other threads are identifying.

me and dc (11) were meant to go Xmas shopping today. Normally I buy my own presents but this year they said they wanted to buy something for me. I scoped out some small gifts in the local shops and thought we could go together, they could choose (I would give them the money) and then we could buy some presents together for other members of the family.

But they have a stomach ache. The kind that is instantly fixed by watching Netflix apparently. Dh is having a nap. He will go out on Xmas eve and get me some shit I don’t want like normal.

I know I know, first world problems. But it’s embarrassing to be with family and have nothing to open. So I’m ordering some books off Amazon that I will wrap up and then unwrap on Christmas Day.

meanwhile, i have of course spent weeks sourcing interesting and thoughtful gifts for the entire family, including dh’s relatives. I’m premenstrual and I just want to cry

aibu to feel incredibly sorry for myself and drown my sorrows in a box of quality street?

yabu - get over yourself
yanbu - just once wouldn’t it be nice if someone asked you what you wanted and then took the time to get it for you

OP posts:
Original poster
Lonelyelf · 15/12/2024 16:42

I’ve told them both what I want. Not difficult to find stuff. Slippers. Chocolates. That kind of thing. I don’t know why I get my hopes up.

OP posts:
LaTable · 15/12/2024 16:41

I also dont have anything to open. I don't think it's a lot bar. It's just I don't put expectations to have presents. That's not what Xmas is about imo, and if I want something I say so when I'm asked what I'd like.
I think if you're mad that dh is buying things you don't want or like, you need to talk to him and tell him explicitly what you want. If you can't do that then you just sound ungrateful for the fact that actually he is thinking about you and at least going to the effort to get you something.

FeathersMcGrawsRubberGlove · 15/12/2024 16:39

Give your husband a list and tell him to get off his arse and go to the shops.

deademptyduck · 15/12/2024 16:36

My DH is rubbish at present buying but I have still repeatedly made it clear that I expect him to make an effort because I sort out 100% of Christmas gifts for the rest of the family. Sometimes he gets it badly wrong but in fairness he tries his best. My children are getting older and for several years now I have reminded them to buy a small gift for family who are very generous with them. Otherwise you end up with adults who take but never give.

NameChanges123 · 15/12/2024 16:34

MintShaker · 15/12/2024 16:26

I don't know why it's embarrassing not to have anything to open. I never have anything to open and noone gives it a second thought, it's the norm and they're used to it.

Why don't you have anything to open?

User37482 · 15/12/2024 16:34

I would just let DH be in charge of presents next year and buy yourself something you really want and wrap it beautifully.

deademptyduck · 15/12/2024 16:33

MintShaker · 15/12/2024 16:26

I don't know why it's embarrassing not to have anything to open. I never have anything to open and noone gives it a second thought, it's the norm and they're used to it.

Because it's a huge demonstration that you don't value yourself and your family don't value you either? Unless the back story is that you are single and your children are 3 and 5!

crochetandshit · 15/12/2024 16:32

MintShaker · 15/12/2024 16:26

I don't know why it's embarrassing not to have anything to open. I never have anything to open and noone gives it a second thought, it's the norm and they're used to it.

This is so sad that you accept this so readily 😔

XelaM · 15/12/2024 16:30

MintShaker · 15/12/2024 16:26

I don't know why it's embarrassing not to have anything to open. I never have anything to open and noone gives it a second thought, it's the norm and they're used to it.

That's so sad and a very low bar! Why do you think that's ok?

50shadesofnay · 15/12/2024 16:29

Yanbu. It genuinely is the thought that counts and it is sad when you put so much effort into making everything nice for other people and it feels like they don't spare a thought for you at all.

My youngest son is 4 and has drawn me some pictures and his brother (7) helped him wrap them. If a 4yo and 7yo can manage to make a little bit of effort, surely an 11yo and a grown adult can dig a little deeper.

Allmarbleslost · 15/12/2024 16:29

bloody hell op stop putting up with this shit

YellowRoom · 15/12/2024 16:27

Go out with DC in the week. Stop getting DH anything and doubly stop for his family!

bernadetteo · 15/12/2024 16:26

YABU to settle for this shit from your DH. Your kid is 11 and he should have modelled good examples to them. I wouldn't be mad at your DC but accepting this form your DH repeatedly is the downfall.

MintShaker · 15/12/2024 16:26

I don't know why it's embarrassing not to have anything to open. I never have anything to open and noone gives it a second thought, it's the norm and they're used to it.