I’m buying my own Christmas presents agIn

Make this the last year that you buy for everyone else. Only your DH and kids from now on.
Make an Amazon wishlist and give it to your husband and children. They need to choose from that. If they don't, and you have nothing to unwrap, it makes them look bad. Your kids need a life lesson or their future partners are going to end up in the same boat as you in years to come.

DH is useless at present buying. I often buy what I want, and give it to him to wrap up. Or, he takes me shopping in the sales on December 27th and buys me whatever I want.

Now, we all do a Xmas list and circulate it round the family.

Have you told him how this makes you feel? I'd be telling him to step up and we are all going shopping you are buying at least one gift for your child and me and here is the list of your relatives I'm not doing them anymore

Y r u embarrassed about having nothing to open, most wouldn’t open presents from immediate family with extended family or friends.

I’d be absolutely fuming if I didn’t get a gift at Christmas! I don’t care if it’s something for £1.00 as long as thought has gone into it.
As someone else said, return the gifts for his family if you can. Tell him you’ve done your side and your child, so all that’s left for him to do are to get gifts for his family and you, and that the children need to get gifts too so he needs to sort that with them.
Then leave him to it.
I would however buy something for yourself - not to save embarrassment (because it’s not you that should be embarrassed), but because it sounds like you deserve a nice gift, even if it’s from yourself.

Why? It's a token of affection not just for children unless your the Grinch.

This is another thread where 2 people in a relationship have wildly different values to each other. I couldn't stay like this. It's not about the monetary value of the gifts. It's about showing some love or appreciation, modelling that to the children and letting them join in with the joy of giving a gift as well as receiving.
My children are 11 and 13 and are really getting into the spirit of choosing a small gift for people or wrapping something they have made at school, or giving their school photo to grandparents.

Why? Who doesn't think you deserve anything you or them?

Return anything you have bought for your "DH". Go out on Xmas eve and get him something he doesn't need. I suggest a pack of sanitary towels and something he's allergic to.

If I want something then I tell my partner. I give him a list and it's up to him what he picks off of it as it still a surprise. He will often get things off his own back as well.

But make sure you get something you want for Christmas. Tell your husband. Take your kids mid week. Stand up for yourself and what you want!

The problem is that sons model the behaviour of their parents. My DH came from a miserable household without much joy where anything nice was derided for being extravagant. DH never saw his parents exchange a gift, his mother given a bunch of flowers, or a Christmas present.

They all loved my Christmases! There was a bit of an improvement. DH has caught up a bit despite hating shopping.

I don't really need or want anything and have said, leave it for now because I'm pretty sure there will be reductions after Xmas. He'll buy me a bottle of scent.

OP, how about buying yourself ten indulgent presents, wrapping them and putting labels on saying they are for you from an admirer...? Gush to everyone present when you open them and thank whoever they were from.
If they guess they're from you to yourself, you still have the presents and they have something to think about.

We send each other links as hints. Saves a lot of angst in the family.

I’m so sorry OP. You deserve so much better.

Whilst I’m very much about the giving rather than receiving and I’d rather give one well thought out present than a bag of tat… having nothing at all to open is just mean.

Myself and DP will often agree to put everything together and pay for an “experience” for us both (think nice meal or something specific on a holiday) but we’ll still get each other something little to “rip open”, even if it’s a multipack of the others favourite crisps for them to have all to themselves. It’s not about the money - it’s the thought so I totally get you OP.

Your DH needs a rocket up his backside and your 11 year old is definitely old enough to know better now. I’d not go nuclear - I’d be more inclined to just do zero present shopping for the main offenders. And maybe post-it note everything your DH owns with what you actually want.

It’s not for 10 days, there’s another weekend still to go! Don’t be a martyr, tell them you’re having presents under the fucking tree and they’ll be very nice and thoughtful ones.

Honestly, buying yourself books isn’t teaching anyone anything other than mum is a doormat/wife will pretend it’s all okay.

Expect better!

My eldest finally noticed I had no presents last year, and asked that I got him an amazon account so he could buy stuff this year. I had to remind him to actually do it (because he didn't realise how long postage would take), but he's going to feel very good that he's got me and his little brother something.

Similarly, I told the youngest that it wasn't kind to get presents from me and his brother, but not get anything for us, so he was also sat in front of Amazon (he got into it and picked some thoughtful stuff)

Both of them have pocket money that they don't use for much else, all their needs are covered, so this isn't a massive sacrifice for them.

Last year I sent them both into Primark with 20 quid and told them to find something, but this year we just didn't find the time really - online shopping is better for them, and the presents will likely be better.

So no. YANBU. Buying a present in return for someone who's getting you a present is basic manners, and they need to be taught to think of others.

Tell her to pick some things off amazon for you instead and her dad can order

I send a list on links and have specified a list of shops that DH is allowed to go in to look for gifts otherwise I get tat he thinks I’d like such as hand masks and fluffy socks from the market.

This year I gave some earrings from Liberty and some skincare from Space NK. My list of shops he can go in for stocking fillers and gifts from children are Oliver Bonas, Space NK, Boots, Anthropologie, Liberty, Waterstones and Sostrene Grene.

This way I’m not disappointed and he appreciates some basic direction.

I'll never understand why women take on the job of buying gifts for their blokes family. It's his family.

Yes, very true.

This! If he doesn’t get anything for do or gets something shit then out exactly the same effort in. Deffo don’t buy for his family either. That’s his job! Just stop. Show them the same level of respect they show you. If he moans, tell him why.

You have to have a negative reaction or they won’t change. You’re just being quiet and then covering for them. It teaches them to carry on being shits.

Remind everyone that you’re a person too and start demanding equal treatment.

You need to stop treating your husband like a child. Tell him he needs to buy gifts for his relatives, including his wife.

Buy something for your child and your side of the family who you're close to eg. your Mum.

Talk to your in-laws and say that he will be getting their presents and say it will be hit and miss.

Don't tell me you're doing all the cooking and cleaning over Christmas too?

My kids are older now and buy nice gifts, when they were younger I got nothing but wasn’t in a position financially to buy myself anything. Now I have bought myself a lovely dress and some new clothes and slippers. Not too late order yourself your favourite perfume or something you would have liked DP to buy, a proper treat you deserve it. Next year do not buy for anyone on DH side or DH, save the money and get yourself something even more special