12 month old fell whilst trying to hold her walker

Ah I had really bad postpartum anxiety as well. Actually had a panic attack in the bed immediately after giving birth. Sertraline was a lifesaver for me, good luck xxx

Yes, you should brace yourself - for the whole experience of having a child instead of a baby.

You could have

'What happened was...Richard was flying his aeroplane and, well, it unfortunately caught fire and crashed just as she walked past him' (one visit to hospital, tube of superglue and a bit of an awkward conversation with the childminder over the phone an hour and a half into my first day of a new job)..

'She was running towards the climbing frame and Jamie was running to the sandpit and unfortunately their trajectories crossed at head level' (one egg sized lump each and being picked up off the playground floor when they'd bounced off one another and ended up flat on their backs)

'Anthony was teaching me to rollerskate but he DIDN'T TEACH ME HOW TO STOP FIRST. But the kneepads and wrist guards and elbow pads and helmet you got me worked until he was picking me up from down the slope by my legs and he DROPPED ME. You can't get a nosepad, can you, Mummy?'

'Look, Mummy, I'm riding Krystelle's bike, Mummy, Mummy, MUUUUUUUUMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!' <crashing sounds and retrieval from inside a rose bush>

'Well, mum, what happened was that they were all playing really nicely, but then there was a bit of a disagreement and then, um, she was holding the spade and somebody else wanted it and, um, well, we've decided we'll have plastic spades from now on as the other child wasn't very kind to her, but even though she's very little, she wouldn't let him have it until just as we ran over. But then she really let him have it'.

'I'm so sorry, what happened was we were doing the accident book because she had a bit of a bump and when we were looking, we saw some more bruises, so we've got to record those as well...' 'OK, how'd you get those ones?' 'Dunno' 'Did you fall over at all today' <looks at me like I'm an idiot> 'We were playing football. And in PE. And I jumped off the bench at playtime. And when we were running out from lunch'

'Why do you have more plasters than knees?'. 'I was doing kneeslides with Andrew, Mummy, but he was wearing trousers and I was wearing tights and I slid better than him, only I slid off the grass and onto the playground'.

'Well, I was out on my scooter and Dad's dog and I thought that Henry would make a really good sled dog. Which he was. But he was faster than I thought and I only taught him mush, not whoa, which he didn't know because he's not a pony, so it's not Henry's fault, Mummy, he's just a dog and he wanted to do what I told him to do'

'So, tell me about her thumb' 'How about you tell the doctor, DD?' 'Mum was in the bath and I was doing my homework and the cat wanted to come in, so I opened the door and the wind caught it and even though Mum always tells me not to, I had my hand in the door. The door went bang, I yelled and Mum came outside bringing most of the bath with her and then I looked at my thumbnail and it was all manky, so Mum got some ice and a teatowel and said we'd better come here once she'd got some clothes on because everybody could see her...' 'OK, I think the doctor's got the idea now'

I think some of the anxiety is that feeling of being responsible for a life and just loving them so much.
It’s part and parcel of being a loving parent and I’m sure nursery will know you’d never hurt or neglect your child. Bumps and bruises happen all the time when they’re learning to walk. Try to enjoy it and grit your teeth - the more they explore now and you let them the more resilient they will become.

kids fall all the time. One of mine at 10 months was trying to run and he tripped and hit his head on the table. Ended up in hospital getting it glued. No referral to SS x

Kids fall all the time. I’m surprised she hasn’t fallen before now if she’s 12m to be honest, I also have a 12m old, he’s been walking for a couple of months and he’s always falling down. Doesn’t matter if I’m watching him or not, he still falls as I don’t hover over him all the time as I have an older child too. It’s just part of being a kid, just make sure there nothing sharp for them to fall on.

It’s fine.

Our nursery does a marks on arrival form that we co sign so that it’s logged, I think partly as evidence that the bump/mark didn’t happen on their watch. But they don’t send it on unless they have actual cause for concern or there’s a pattern I guess.

This is a very normal occurrence, children have all sorts of bumps and scapes as they’re learning to walk.

To clarify - I'm sure you are doing a great job, I just think it's unhelpful to women to make mothering sound like a competition.

I don't think you have anything to worry about. Did she fall on carpet? If so the mark might not even be visible by tomorrow.

That said, I do think it's utterly ridiculous of the midwife to be dropping words like "amazing" all over the place like she's giving out gold medals for Olympic-level mothering.

Nursery will know very well that toddlers fall over.

When you drop her in just say 'you'll need to be on the watch out, she's pulling herself up on anything and everything and we've had a few tumbles already'

Unless they have other reasons to suspect your parenting this will be a completely and totally normal event for them with no reason to be concerned at all.

I remember picking DD up from nursery and she had a massive bump on her forehead from where she'd done almost exactly the same thing as your DD, tripping over her own feet trying to use the walker.

Most new bruises DD1 got in one day was 12 I think.

Ah man OP it has to be a lot worse than that.

tbh my son is very very active and has had a ton of accidents. He fell down half the stairs at 2 years old and I was right next to him. His head split open and I took him to A&E both of us in our dressing gowns!! They did a bunch of safeguarding checks and luckily my son was a great talker so told them the exact truth of what happened. I was checked out by many docs and my story. SS did call to say they had the report but understood toddlers have accidents and they were always there if I needed them

It's such a stressful age, where they are becoming mobile but not quite stable and unfortunately they do bump themselves a bit. I understand your anxiety, I worry about mine too when they hurt themselves. It wasn't your fault and no one will think you have hurt your baby.

I remember when my oldest was about 18 months taking him for vaccinations and the Dr saying “oh dear, how did he get that bruise?” and just having to say “I’m sorry I have no idea, he runs everywhere and gets a new one every day” and her just saying “it’s fine, it’s a normal bruise that they get from being a menace to themselves!”
I think Drs/nursery are very aware of how kids injure themselves when they’re learning to walk.

Mine had a fair few hospital visits. One of them built up a small collection of these knitted toys that the ambulance paramedics had to give children at the time. I always wondered if the doctors would say anything about all the bruises on their legs from some scrape or other like climbing trees and adventure playgrounds. Nobody ever said a word while they were being stitched up or being plastered. The eldest is close to qualifying as a doctor so who knows if he was inspired as a child by those hospital visits.

Oh bless you.
With regard to nursery, the most important thing is to tell them exactly what's happened. They should fill in an existing injury form, they need that in case nobody has passed on the information and they think she's had a bump at nursery. Little ones, especially when they're just starting to become mobile, will have many bumps and bruises and the trained and experienced nursery staff will know that.

And don't beat yourself up, you've done nothing wrong.

@user11290 your HV sounds very helpful and sensible! I'm really sorry you're having these intrusive thoughts. I think becoming a mother can really trigger memories of our own childhoods. It sounds like you're doing everything you can to help yourself.

Nursery will probably ask what happened, so mention it to them when you take her. They might do a pre-existing injury form. We do those so that we have proof an injury didn't happen at nursery. (and to keep an eye on potential patterns of injury, obviously not relevant to you).

Relax

Far worse will happen yet

Wait till they start running around

Then when they fall over there will be bumps blood and all sorts

SS won't be interested in visiting in person for this, they may check in on the phone as they might do if you had had an A&E visit but tha isn't anything to worry about and is just procedure.

All babies fall and bang themselves on furniture etc, especially when crawling, starting to walk and pulling themselves up on things. Please don't worry, nursery will be very used to seeing bumps and bruises! Just let them know at drop off. It's very unlikely they'll think anything of it.

Unless there is a major backstory here I can't fathom why the nursery would call social services about a 1 year old having bruise, especially when they are attempting to stand / walk and will obviously fall over. You just need to let them know when you drop off that she is trying to stand and this weekend has had a bump.

I appreciate it must be really difficult having health anxiety. I worry about my 2 year old all the time, but they will trip over themselves a lot!

With a 12m old, OP, you have a whole host of falls and bumps and injuries to come. My twins are 6 and one of them has been to hospital for injury at least 7-8 times since that age. I would focus your energy on dealing with this unnecessary anxiety.

It's always hard with that anxious voice. Injuries like that are only more worrying when babies aren't moving yet. We sent my son for his first day of nursery with a deep cut by his eyebrow after he faceplanted the edge of our bed - felt awful!