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Original poster

To be foaming about kids’ Christmas party?

169 replies

O6bftdff · 15/12/2024 15:40

I took my four year old nephew to a Christmas party yesterday at the golf club. It was really well done. They’d hired a soft play section, had Santa, balloons, drawing, a little buffet. Really good.

But then they had the party games and I’m still a bit annoyed about it (and yes, I know they’re children). First up was pass the parcel. I sat behind DN when he joined the ‘big kids’ circle (there was a separate one for the babies) and off we went. The same girl, about six or seven, kept getting the parcel handed to her and just sitting with it and staring straight ahead. She was next to a small boy of maybe three who wasn’t old enough to understand to take it. It only moved when the other older kids started shouting at her to pass it. She won three times.

Then we play corners and obviously the kids who are in whichever corner is called go out of the game. Some kids who kept going out kept just rejoining, and of course one of them won.

Pass the parcel again and this time all the babies and older children in one big circle with two parcels circulating. Im next to DN again and a woman to our left has maybe a one year old on her knee. The cheating girl is to her left. Once again the cheating girl just sits with the parcel and the woman with the baby is too talking to a friend behind her that the girl sits with the parcel and wins another two times. Meanwhile, on the other side of the circle a boy of six or seven just sits with the other parcel until the music stops. The other kids complain he’s cheating to the organiser, who just ignores them.

Finally the music stops on my DN just as he’s going to hand over the parcel, but he still had hold of it. The five year old next to him is with her DM. The girl was ignoring him, the music stopped, and the woman took it from him and said ‘that’s yours, DD’. I didn’t say anything but wish I had. I felt so sorry for him.

I don’t blame the kids, they’re kids, but surely if you’re either taking a child or organising a children’s party you should be making sure your kids aren’t cheating and the cheaters aren’t continuously winning? I know it’s only a game and a kids’ one at that but the blatant rewards for cheating wound me right up.

OP posts:
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Original poster
O6bftdff · 21/12/2024 21:36

Gardenbird123 · 19/12/2024 13:05

Some parents don't care as long as their child is winning - unfortunately that's where the children get it from.
Keep being a good parent, you are raising a lovely person. Tell your child they were a great sport and buy them some sweets 😊

Ah that’s lovely. He’s my nephew, not son, but he is a lovely little boy. He did win some chocolate and a candy cane and got a selection box from Santa, so he was over the moon.

OP posts:
Gardenbird123 · 19/12/2024 13:05

Some parents don't care as long as their child is winning - unfortunately that's where the children get it from.
Keep being a good parent, you are raising a lovely person. Tell your child they were a great sport and buy them some sweets 😊

LazyArsedMagician · 19/12/2024 12:28

This would piss me off too. This is why the adults need to be paying attention and making sure everyone has a go. Otherwise, don't do these types of games.

Original poster
O6bftdff · 17/12/2024 17:48

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 16/12/2024 21:47

Unless it’s “drama”.

It’s been explained to you.

OP posts:
Hameth · 17/12/2024 08:49

O6bftdff · 15/12/2024 15:40

I took my four year old nephew to a Christmas party yesterday at the golf club. It was really well done. They’d hired a soft play section, had Santa, balloons, drawing, a little buffet. Really good.

But then they had the party games and I’m still a bit annoyed about it (and yes, I know they’re children). First up was pass the parcel. I sat behind DN when he joined the ‘big kids’ circle (there was a separate one for the babies) and off we went. The same girl, about six or seven, kept getting the parcel handed to her and just sitting with it and staring straight ahead. She was next to a small boy of maybe three who wasn’t old enough to understand to take it. It only moved when the other older kids started shouting at her to pass it. She won three times.

Then we play corners and obviously the kids who are in whichever corner is called go out of the game. Some kids who kept going out kept just rejoining, and of course one of them won.

Pass the parcel again and this time all the babies and older children in one big circle with two parcels circulating. Im next to DN again and a woman to our left has maybe a one year old on her knee. The cheating girl is to her left. Once again the cheating girl just sits with the parcel and the woman with the baby is too talking to a friend behind her that the girl sits with the parcel and wins another two times. Meanwhile, on the other side of the circle a boy of six or seven just sits with the other parcel until the music stops. The other kids complain he’s cheating to the organiser, who just ignores them.

Finally the music stops on my DN just as he’s going to hand over the parcel, but he still had hold of it. The five year old next to him is with her DM. The girl was ignoring him, the music stopped, and the woman took it from him and said ‘that’s yours, DD’. I didn’t say anything but wish I had. I felt so sorry for him.

I don’t blame the kids, they’re kids, but surely if you’re either taking a child or organising a children’s party you should be making sure your kids aren’t cheating and the cheaters aren’t continuously winning? I know it’s only a game and a kids’ one at that but the blatant rewards for cheating wound me right up.

Would be a trigger for me too. Fairness and structure are key values to develop in young children (and dare I say it adults too!)

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 16/12/2024 21:47

Unless it’s “drama”.

NovemberMorn · 16/12/2024 12:35

I share the OP's frustration.

It's not so much the kids, it's the parents who are looking the other way, they should be the ones to tell their own brats to pass the parcel on.

Some parents (usually mothers) think the sun shines out of their own kids arses, I know one ....their kid is never at fault, if challenged, it's always some other kids fault.
Their child is growing up to be a selfish little brat...and it probably all started at some party where pass the parcel and musical chairs were being played.

BananaSpanner · 16/12/2024 05:15

You can absolutely tell who the parents are that allow their kids to cheat at pass the parcel from reading this thread.

Lemonadeand · 16/12/2024 05:06

We always fix pass the parcel so every child gets a chance to open a layer. And if a kid has already had a go, generally their parents or the party organiser will make them pass it on to someone else. It sounds like the person running the game wasn’t paying attention.

HoundsOfHelfire · 16/12/2024 04:54

The coordinators should have had one eye on who hadn’t yet received the parcel and coordinated wins

LunaNorth · 16/12/2024 03:39

I like you, OP. You’re funny Grin

Original poster
O6bftdff · 16/12/2024 03:15

GreenTeaLikesMe · 16/12/2024 02:27

It's less than ideal, but "foaming"? Please don't react in a way that encourages your kids to hyperfocus on this kind of stuff. It's a few daft games at a kids' party, not a nationwide tournament in an Olympic-grade sport.

I don’t have kids so it won’t do them any harm.

OP posts:
GreenTeaLikesMe · 16/12/2024 02:27

It's less than ideal, but "foaming"? Please don't react in a way that encourages your kids to hyperfocus on this kind of stuff. It's a few daft games at a kids' party, not a nationwide tournament in an Olympic-grade sport.

m00rfarm · 16/12/2024 01:58

Jellycatspyjamas · 15/12/2024 15:53

Honestly you’ve a long road ahead if this makes you foam at the mouth. They’re kids, all learning about games and winning and fairness, and all hopped up on sugar and Christmas “magic”.

Parents need to be involved if they are younger and organiser needs to be on top of it.

Original poster
O6bftdff · 16/12/2024 01:34

surreygirl1987 · 16/12/2024 00:49

Yeh it sounds rubbish and unfair, but not really worth getting worked up about. You'll come across this sort of thing a lot!

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I won’t. Im done with kids’ parties.

OP posts:
surreygirl1987 · 16/12/2024 00:49

Jellycatspyjamas · 15/12/2024 15:53

Honestly you’ve a long road ahead if this makes you foam at the mouth. They’re kids, all learning about games and winning and fairness, and all hopped up on sugar and Christmas “magic”.

Yeh it sounds rubbish and unfair, but not really worth getting worked up about. You'll come across this sort of thing a lot!

Cakeandcardio · 16/12/2024 00:27

OK the blame might lie with the adults but my 4 year old son knows better. I am with you OP. This shitty, selfish behaviour really pisses me off too.

WGACA · 16/12/2024 00:09

Don't go back next year.

Original poster
O6bftdff · 15/12/2024 23:48

Booboobagins · 15/12/2024 23:41

But you did nothing ie you ondpned the behaviour. If you reaming do something otherwise you're just injuring yourself. It's utter madness.

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Well said 🤨

OP posts:
Booboobagins · 15/12/2024 23:41

O6bftdff · 15/12/2024 19:24

😂 According to who? Course I can moan, don’t be daft.

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But you did nothing ie you ondpned the behaviour. If you reaming do something otherwise you're just injuring yourself. It's utter madness.

Original poster
O6bftdff · 15/12/2024 21:44

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 15/12/2024 21:32

What is it with people, foaming and fuming and shaking with rage. I must live in a parallel universe.

😂 They’re just turns of phrase. Not a literal representation of how someone’s feeling. Well, unless they are. You can usually use context to work it out.

Just like when someone says ‘it’s not ideal’ when they’ve lost their job, been made homeless and their leg’s hanging off but ‘there’s nothing worse’ when their teabag splits. I understand the confusion (assuming English isn’t your first language).

OP posts:
marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 15/12/2024 21:32

What is it with people, foaming and fuming and shaking with rage. I must live in a parallel universe.

Arrwedancers · 15/12/2024 21:24

I have 3 older dc and these sorts of situations still make me foam at the mouth so I get where you are coming from op. I stopped attending these sorts of 'organised fun' events for similar reasons, there are always certain kids that get away with murder, usually it turns out that they are somehow connected to the organiser of the party, hence why they are allowed to get away with murder.

Original poster
O6bftdff · 15/12/2024 21:05

Penguinface · 15/12/2024 20:43

I have helped run kid's Christmas parties. An organiser always assisted pass-the-parcel to make sure it was done properly with no cheating.

All the adults organising and the parents, possibly including yourself OP, have done badly here. I would email the organisers and ask if next year, they can supervise the games as it sends a bad message to kid's if cheating is rewarded.

I’m never going to tell six year olds who aren’t mine to stop cheating. Im taking my nephew to a party and paying for it. I don’t see why I should have to risk the wrath of the cheaters’ parents.

Also, the boy was laughing and blatantly winding the other kids up by holding onto the present at the end. But the girl who kept winning was getting given the parcel and just holding it, staring straight ahead, until someone finally took it from her hands. No smirking or teasing like the boy, just staring ahead. So I don’t know if it was an act and she was pretending she didn’t know to pass, or maybe she had learning difficulties or something. Which brings me back to blaming the parents who should’ve been either telling her to stop cheating and get on with it or helping her. But I’m not going to discipline her in front of a circle of actual parents who are much more experienced at kids’ parties who acted like nothing was wrong.

OP posts:
Penguinface · 15/12/2024 20:43

I have helped run kid's Christmas parties. An organiser always assisted pass-the-parcel to make sure it was done properly with no cheating.

All the adults organising and the parents, possibly including yourself OP, have done badly here. I would email the organisers and ask if next year, they can supervise the games as it sends a bad message to kid's if cheating is rewarded.

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