Birthday gift from the in-laws

If they had, I guarantee the OP would have been on with "My MIL has given me a hotel voucher for Christmas. Shes given no thought to the logistics. I can't leave my child, she never even considered a babysitter. She's always so manipulative, giving me a voucher she knows I can't use!".

Absolute joke isn't it?

I'd be irritated by this, it's clearly done with their benefit in mind (day trip and overnight with grandchild) if they were thinking of you they could have got you some hotel vouchers and let you work out the logistics.

Thing is, your child will get older and you'll be happier for him to have more independence. At that point, it'll be great to have involved grandparents who know and love your child well and who are available to help.

For now, it's maybe a struggle to leave your baby. But in a few years you may welcome it and more importantly, your child can have a good relationship separate to you.

In many scenarios on MN, the parents in law seem overbearing, but this does not appear one of them IMO.

Well that sounds really annoying! It sounds like you are doing all the hard work to facilitate a relationship between your in-laws and your child. I would back off and leave it up to your husband. If he can't be bothered, it shouldn't mean that it's your job. The birthday gift sounds more for their benefit than your's. You are just the conduit to your baby.

Did you know they is a little button where you can press “see all” and then read all the OPs posts before calling her odd and unhinged? If you had done so you would have seen that she facilitates weekly visits with the in-laws, often dropping her child to them so that they get to “babysit” even though she doesn’t need it.

For me, the more she posts the funnier and more likeable she gets! I think OP is a saint, I wouldn’t want to see anyone once a week let alone my in laws (who I do like but very happy with our twice yearly catch ups as they live overseas).

This

This!!

@PoppyRoseBucky do you not think it a little odd and unhinged to send messages addressed to your son to your DIL when your son doesn't respond quickly enough?

I hate this whole 'you'll be sorry when you don't have your parents/in laws to help in a few years!' bollocks on MN.

The grandparenting options available aren't limited to either maximum pressure or total neglect. I should know, I am lucky enough to have parents and in laws that play an active role my sons life without pressuring either me or my partner. There is a mutual respect that we want to spend time together, but we also have our own lives to lead.

"your lucky you have people wanting to be involved in thier lives".
Does this come at ops cost? To minimise who she is and to use her special day to wangle what they want??

In this scenario, I'm not convinced this is what's happening though. They have possibly combined the two - her birthday present and chance to spend time with their grandson - but wow, is that so terrible? Honestly, if this was me, I'd be grateful, having a drink or two with them and if my kid was comfortable, they can have him overnight! Ime, life can throw some horrible curve balls, and when you need people, like in laws, having people who your kids know and feel comfortable with, is priceless. Personally, OP sounds ungrateful and although she is the mother, there are other people in this little boys life, that she and he are very fortunate to have.

@PoppyRoseBucky if you read ops posts you will see actually op not their son is the main point of contact and has facilitate weekly meeting

@ARichtGoodDram but how is blowing up their phones making positive relations and texting their son thru op without even mentioning her or saying hello

This.

Prepare for OP to come back and whine in a few months/years that her IL's don't care about her DC and don't ever want to help.

And it's not even like OP is uncomfortable with leaving her DC! She lets her mum babysit. Have you considered how that might feel for your IL's, OP?

If they are lovely people, like you have stated, why do you want to limit them so much? Surely it's a good thing that they're showing an interest in your DC and want to be an active part of their lives?

There's nothing wrong with setting boundaries if you feel they're a bit too much-but wanting to restrict their access to once a month (when you allow your own mum to babysit) is, without a backstory, pretty nasty stuff.

Unless there's some massive drip-feed, it's very odd and unhinged behaviour. What does your DH think about this?

"your lucky you have people wanting to be involved in thier lives".
Does this come at ops cost? To minimise who she is and to use her special day to wangle what they want??

Tbh it sounds like they have good intentions.

They know you like the wildlife place so have offered a nice thing with them babysitting - but not taking your child away overnight as they know you’re not up for that.

Im very wary of pushy family members, but they just sound like they’re trying their best to build a good relationship with you and your DC

Wise words

I tend to agree with this. I think you are overanalysing OP

Yeah. Genuinely. I cannot remember the last time DH and I got the opportunity to go for a meal and actually have fun with adult conversation and a glass or two of wine. Like most of us, I find my in-laws a bit much but I love seeing them interact and shower our kids with attention so coming along with us wouldn’t be so much of a big deal. They just never offer to take both of them without us there. So, yes, I’d be thrilled if I was offered this.

@ProbablyNutsTBH

Myself and kids have zero input from my side and little input from my DH side so the fact that your in laws want to be involved is lovely. You have said they are lovely people (from what you can tell) and the only thing I can see they're perhaps guilty off is an ill judged present because you're not a fan of eating out, which it's likely they've forgotten, but I think from what you've written, they are trying. So what if they want to be available to look after their grandson? - you have willing people who want to be involved in your child's life, how wonderful! you really don't know how lucky you are. I would advise taking a step back and reassessing things a little because these are the same people who will be there when you might need them most.

The more you post, OP, the more you seem to be showing that you dislike them. Sounds like they can’t do anything right. Hopefully you’ll mellow a bit as your child gets older.

This 100 times over.

If PIL genuinely wanted to give OP a break, they wouldn't have suggested a meal that requires a 4 hour round trip, followed by a night of disrupted sleep since generally babies don't sleep well in unfamiliar surroundings.

so essentially they've given you the gift of a meal out (which you're not that keen on anyway) but ONLY in a specific place they've picked and only once you've spent money on petrol getting there and written off most of your weekend, and spent the day with them at a park you've been to before and could go at any time?

Yeah, bit of a crap present. But tbh it sounds like if, every time they ask 'so when shall we use the "voucher" you reply "Seeing as it's for my birthday I've told DH to organise it," it'll probably never happen, so happy days. Just make sure you pencil something in for at least one day every weekend on the family calendar, even if it's something you later cancel, or something vague like "Meet up with B?"

Are you happy for them to babysit your DS? If so, it sounds like it will solve a lot of issue if you just proactively get them to do so every so often. If not then again just tell them, I appreciate you'll be in the same hotel but I'm not really up for DS sleeping apart from us yet, let's leave the voucher for a year or two.