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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Are some dog owners a bit deluded about their dogs?

113 replies

jennylamb1 · 15/12/2024 11:54

Just putting it out there- my mum has dogs, but with a sensible attitude I think- the dog stays downstairs at nights, as a puppy he is being trained, he is treated well but not not like a human being.
Some dog owners though seem to justify their dog's behaviour out of some ill advised need to defend them at all times, even in the face of reality. A previous poster on here had a dog who was biting visitors, but justified it because he was a rescue dog and they were warning bites and hadn't broken the skin. I had to take a detour running on a woodland path yesterday because an aggressive barking dog was stood in my path and the owner just thought they'd tell them off without thinking of putting them on a lead/restraining them. This week at the vet a dog owner with two large dogs leaping up at my nervous cat's cat carrier said that it was OK because they knew cats at home and were fine with them (whilst leaping up at my...).
Are there dog owners and then dog owners?

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 15/12/2024 14:26

I suspect there are deluded people in any group, @jennylamb1. But yes, some dog owners are deluded.

Not me - my dogs are perfect and not spoiled at all. And the cat is not spoiled, and he is not a furry bastard either.

Billyandharry · 15/12/2024 14:24

I hate seeing them humanised /taken out to cafes/pushed round in prams. Just sad. I also think Pets R Us (or whoever) have got large and powerful advertising budgets to normalise all of this.

DepartingRadish · 15/12/2024 14:22

I grew up with dogs in the house, so it was a pretty natural step for me to have a dog as soon as I was able. I like walking so that part works for me. I'm also not a great partier or socialiser, and I'm happy at home pottering in my garden rather than going away on holiday, so I think they suit my personality.

Billyandharry · 15/12/2024 14:20

Do some people get dogs though because they have a big gap in their lives/are bored/have empty nest syndrome I wonder? I know people like to 'be busy' and I guess getting a dog to plug some sort of gap/boredom is easier than looking inwards.

DepartingRadish · 15/12/2024 14:19

Tired88p85 · 15/12/2024 14:08

Real story. DH, at a work do, starts chatting to a guy from another team who he hasn't met before. He tells him we have a 6 week old baby. Other man replies "yeah, we just got a kitten, she keeps waking us up at 3am, it's really hard isn't it?". He wasn't joking. Are people that deluded that they think a pet=a baby???

It's pretty cringe. Young animals are hard work for training and teething and house-breaking, but it's temporary and not remotely the same - there's a reason I have dogs rather than children!! My go-to joke is that I can be reasonably sure of a puppy being house trained by the time it's five months, and that I would not have the patience for a baby.

My dogs get spoiled - one on my lap at the moment. I adore them, but they are dogs. They stay on leads when I'm walking them, and they stay at home if I'm off somewhere else. I certainly don't expect anyone else's life to revolve around the fact that I've got animals.

SuperfluousHen · 15/12/2024 14:13

MissyB1 · 15/12/2024 13:43

It's the same principle though! Parents who think their little Angel can do no wrong, dog owner who thinks their dog can do no wrong - same same!

There’s nothing “same” about dogs and children. Not one thing.

ilikecatsandponies · 15/12/2024 14:12

I think I am one of the deluded people you are talking about. We have a doodle do it's a designer breed. We have done the puppy class but we haven't even passed the bronze certificate yet never mind gold and are still struggling with certain things like leaving the dog. We don't have local family but do use dog sitters.

Jellycatspyjamas · 15/12/2024 14:10

I’m so tired of seeing dogs on TikTok being treated like they’re in some kind of spa - with bubbles and head bands and facial treatments. They’re animals for goodness sake not an extension of your personhood. Animals are a responsibility, they need care, training and attention - they aren’t people and shouldn’t be treated as such.

Tired88p85 · 15/12/2024 14:08

Real story. DH, at a work do, starts chatting to a guy from another team who he hasn't met before. He tells him we have a 6 week old baby. Other man replies "yeah, we just got a kitten, she keeps waking us up at 3am, it's really hard isn't it?". He wasn't joking. Are people that deluded that they think a pet=a baby???

VacuumPacked · 15/12/2024 14:07

we had neighbours who had a timid red setter that slept in their large bed between them, had its own (satin) pillow, I kid you not
I’m of the age when indoor dogs slept in the kitchen in a basket, taken out, run of the garden, or
outside, in a wooden cosy kennel, especially in rural or semi rural areas, often on a long lightweight chain, often Alsations, a prowler warning, didn’t enter the house,
fed on home cooked offal and scraps, brushed daily, happy dogs not neglected,
or if more than one dog, in kennels, often rudimentary but clean and swept/hosed daily, only little poodles followed mistress all over the house.

Fashions in dogs change as everything else - there were town dogs and country dogs,
wire haired fox terriers usually called Trixie
Alsations/German Shepherds usually called Sheba or Rex
retrievers, flat coated and curly, usually called ‘away’
corgis usually called ‘get down!’
poodles usually called Mitzi
heinz 57 usually called Rack, Bonnie, or the dog

the ubiquitous Labrador came later, now as mentioned ^^ we have designer dogs,
Pets at Home, dried food, flashing collars, tartan jackets, photos of dog wearing hapless expression, killer dogs, muzzles, little dogs on long leads across the pavement, the humanization of an animal, man’s best friend.

jennylamb1 · 15/12/2024 14:00

DepartingRadish · 15/12/2024 13:56

Example being a thread running at the moment, where the OP's relatives are all kicking off because she doesn't want them bringing their various dogs to her (dog free) house for Christmas.

Why on earth would you assume that you can bring your dog wherever you go? And not even ask! I don't get it at all.

Yes, reading that was what made me ask the question. It's almost like people get a kind of 'Stockholm syndrome.'

OP posts:
Simonjt · 15/12/2024 13:58

VarneytheVamp · 15/12/2024 13:18

Maybe. My dog is very spoiled and has the run of the house but I’ve also put a huge amount of effort into training her and she’ll do what she’s told if we need her to. I think a lot of people get a dog and then do the bare minimum of training.

Yes we’re the same, ours has completed the Kennel Club good citizen gold ceritificate, our son has also done some young handler training, which we need to get back into really.

ValleyClouds · 15/12/2024 13:57

Yes. People are entitled and insane about their dogs.

I have neighbours who constantly leave their dog unattended in the front garden where it goes mental at every passerby or car desperately flinging itself at the fence to attack. It's not fair on anyone least of all the dog.

I'm disabled and fucking hate it, I have to cross my own side of the road each time.

I told the son I was scared of it and sick of it, nothing changed, it's a young dog and if it gets bigger it will have that fence no problem

DepartingRadish · 15/12/2024 13:56

Example being a thread running at the moment, where the OP's relatives are all kicking off because she doesn't want them bringing their various dogs to her (dog free) house for Christmas.

Why on earth would you assume that you can bring your dog wherever you go? And not even ask! I don't get it at all.

LisaD1 · 15/12/2024 13:55

Absolutely loads of them!

we have dogs, horses and other small pets. They all have a wonderful life, as the much loved ANIMALS, they are.

DepartingRadish · 15/12/2024 13:54

jennylamb1 · 15/12/2024 13:48

Yes, I think it's all about people feeling that it's ok to step over other people's boundaries. Vets waiting rooms areas are a nightmare if busy. My poor cat had already wet herself on the way to the vet in her carrier because she was so nervous. I don't want someone's dog leaping up at her even if according to the owner they are 'good around cats!'

I really feel for cats and small furries at the vet. Ours has a good sized reception and a separate walled off waiting area for them, so that they aren't in the eyeline of dogs.

It's still a stressful environment for all of them though. One of my dogs gets very anxious, as she's frightened of other dogs due to being attacked and badly hurt by one. I have no compunction at all about telling other dog owners to keep their animals under control.

Headstarttohappiness · 15/12/2024 13:52

Emphatically yes.

I loathe it. Totally unfair on the humans that come into contact with the dogs and the poor animals as well.

Createausername1970 · 15/12/2024 13:50

Yes they are.

I am a dog owner and she sleeps on our bed, and is currently curled up in an arm chair.

But I don't take her out with me, or assume it would be OK. My sister sometimes looks after her if we go out for the day, and is happy for us to take her round if we go for the evening, but we don't usually take her and would definitely ask before doing so.

I don't let her off the extending lead and I reel her back in when necessary and I don't let her jump up at other people.

To be fair, most other dog owners I personally know IRL are just the same, but there are definitely some who have other ideas!

MatildaTheCat · 15/12/2024 13:50

SuperfluousHen · 15/12/2024 13:34

little prince 🤦‍♀️

Irony my friend.

jennylamb1 · 15/12/2024 13:48

DepartingRadish · 15/12/2024 13:44

Definitely.

I was at the vet with one of mine last week. Another woman with a dog in there on a long lead that kept coming over to jump up at mine. It got a firm "no" from me - at which point she simpered that he was just being friendly. My response was that at no it's not being friendly, it's your dog being badly behaved - because if you had them under control and they were well trained, then they wouldn't be jumping up at strangers. I don't like it, and my dog doesn't like it, so keep your dog under control. She didn't have much to say about it, but she pulled the dog back.

Dogs are hard work. I love mine but other people's badly behaved dogs do my nut in. It's also really arrogant to assume that strangers want Fido's muddy paws all over them - not everyone likes dogs.

Yes, I think it's all about people feeling that it's ok to step over other people's boundaries. Vets waiting rooms areas are a nightmare if busy. My poor cat had already wet herself on the way to the vet in her carrier because she was so nervous. I don't want someone's dog leaping up at her even if according to the owner they are 'good around cats!'

OP posts:
RoseDog · 15/12/2024 13:46

Killingoffmyflowersonebyone · 15/12/2024 13:39

There are two types of dog owners.

Type one: Those that view being a dog owner as being a 'responsibility and a privilege'. Those are the ones who train their dogs properly and ensure their dogs cause no fuss.

Type two: 90% of owners who got a dog because they thought it was their 'right.' Those are the ones with badly trained dogs.

I'm the third type, took in a middle age rescue dog that you can't really train, her last owner was a drug addict who left her tied to a fence while he went to try and end his life, he was saved, Christ knows what she's seen in her life. All I can do is give her the love and security she needs to live out the rest of her life and her needs met.

She is our second middle age rescue both are chalk and cheese, we just need to work with what we get!

DepartingRadish · 15/12/2024 13:44

Definitely.

I was at the vet with one of mine last week. Another woman with a dog in there on a long lead that kept coming over to jump up at mine. It got a firm "no" from me - at which point she simpered that he was just being friendly. My response was that at no it's not being friendly, it's your dog being badly behaved - because if you had them under control and they were well trained, then they wouldn't be jumping up at strangers. I don't like it, and my dog doesn't like it, so keep your dog under control. She didn't have much to say about it, but she pulled the dog back.

Dogs are hard work. I love mine but other people's badly behaved dogs do my nut in. It's also really arrogant to assume that strangers want Fido's muddy paws all over them - not everyone likes dogs.

MissyB1 · 15/12/2024 13:43

SuperfluousHen · 15/12/2024 13:37

2 seconds in and already the posts talking about children as if they have somehow some equivalence with pet dogs.
It must be the furbabies syndrome 🤦‍♀️

It's the same principle though! Parents who think their little Angel can do no wrong, dog owner who thinks their dog can do no wrong - same same!

HidingHereForTomorrow · 15/12/2024 13:42

There is one near me who has started bringing her puppy to socialise with children… at the school gates at home time! Because that is just what the pup needs, 400+ rowdy excited primary age children running out of the school gates. It is terrified and shaking in her arms most of the time, and if the puppy does eventually snap at a child the dog will be blamed.

Killingoffmyflowersonebyone · 15/12/2024 13:39

There are two types of dog owners.

Type one: Those that view being a dog owner as being a 'responsibility and a privilege'. Those are the ones who train their dogs properly and ensure their dogs cause no fuss.

Type two: 90% of owners who got a dog because they thought it was their 'right.' Those are the ones with badly trained dogs.