Ainu to not want to buy step kids Christmas present

How does one edit these posts because my typos are as exhausting as my husband 😂😂😂

Thank you all about your honest opinions, the brunt of it is my DH is always scared of his daughters I have never understood why. Yes when it comes to them he is weak. He even sort counselling when I tried to leave once. To figure out why he can’t just face them and tell them the truth. It didn’t work.
I’ve tried to help, I’ve tried to talk to them to reassure them that nothing will ever change with me being present in their life, I’ve apologised for the changes they had to endure as teens due to their parents splitting up.
I said the same thing to them when our daughter was born. I’ve cooked, entertained smiled and waved as much as I possible could over the years, I’ve embarrassed myself and put up with things I shouldn’t have put up with, I don’t know why I did. I’m working on myself and how to say no and how to be assertive and firm.
I’m finding my anger as someone said. I hate arguments or upsetting people. But this has led to me being taken advantage of. I know it’s insane but that’s been my reality.
For the sake of my daughters and myself I’m doing something about it. It’s a slow process yes but I will get there. A simple post about presents had evoked memories in my head that are quite painful and disturbing and to think I put up with, some of it w oils not allow now so it’s an achievement to me that I can put my foot down even if it’s a tiny bit.
I work full time and earn a good wage not as high as my DH or DSC but I’m happy to contribute my fair share of our lives because apparently the girls tell him not to waste their inheritance so I have to pay for things. I’ve accepted this because I lived alone for a while with my kids and paid for things so it doesn’t make a difference to me. I’ve never understood the inheritance thing but I respect their views.

Now though I will seek legal advice and change the things which doesn’t favour me or my kids, we matter too.
I don’t want to grow into a resentful woman to two girls who are a product of their parents divorcing or not being raised right.
They probably don’t know any different. Demand and expectation has probably been part of their upbringing and so they do not see anything wrong with it. But I’ve chosen to be left out of that demand and expectation now. I never caused their pain. I must not suffer for something that happened when I was not around. My DH’s guilt is not mine to bear. He said that ex asked him to leave for several years and eventually he left.
he dated before me so it’s not like I was the first. But I know for sure that no matter what woman who comes they will get the same treatment.

I will look into speaking to a solicitor then with the advice she gives me I will speak to my DH to see if we can make changes if not then it’s time I lived my life the way I want to. My late MIL used to tell me “fight for it” it will be all worth it. But then again she was just looking out for her son. She tried her best to be honest. She told me long time ago to tell the girls to go to hell. Of F off but I just kept trying hoping that they would see my intentions.
I will not be replying to any messages as I’m traveling but I thank you all liberated women. Some of the comments were so funny and I wished I was that blunt and that brave. I enjoy Mumsnet and the support it give us. I’ve learnt a lot from this simple post about gifting.

It was one week after our wedding.

No way was I invited I’m never invited to their holidays it’s their catching up with their dad time. And somehow I understand and don’t mind because they live far and rarely see each other so it’s important they see their dad. I once asked why we can’t just go on holiday together it would be cheaper and he said they prefer him alone to get his total attention. The youngest daughter joined us once on holiday and the moment she arrived everything changed. My DH was anxious as hell, We had to do everything she wanted to do, eat where she wanted to eat etc regardless of what young kids prefers or were capable of, and the whole time she only spoke to her dad, walked hand in hand ahead of us, the kids tried to engage her but she just smiled at them. in the end I just said no me and the kids will stay in the villa you go off and enjoy yourselves. I’ve refused for her to join any of our holidays since. I’d rather go to Skegness and have happy times with my girls my kids have kind of now known especially my eldest that they don’t like us she has asked me before. But because we don’t see them often it’s not such a problem to me.

I don’t understand how I’ve allowed it either but I just did. I’m getting help in this area. I come from a culture where women are totally painfully submissive. I saw this with my mother and see it with my sisters. I don’t like it as it’s demeaning and disrespectful and gut wrenching. But it’s built into you from the moment you are born a baby girl.
I didn’t wear trousers until I came to England years ago. I’m lucky I got education because my mother insisted, some don’t, she worked hard and put her foot down and sent us out of the culture to explore the world and be independent women.
i know I will get there. Quite soon actually. It’s just hard when fate throws people in your way that enjoys this oppressive system rather than help dismantle it.
I know my DSC would never allow anyone to treat them the way I’ve been treated because they have a voice. They grew up with views and expectations. As a grown woman in my mid forties I’m just growing mine now it’s ok I think my MIL saw this and she helped me to recognise that I don’t have to do it. I’m eternally grateful to her.

Probably didn’t, but it probably stems from many years of me being told to do things how other people want them and not how I want them. The previous me would have rolled over and let DH pay the extra money required for the day change but I stood my ground for once and that was the beginning of changes I was making my voice to be heard.
guess what? The day after our wedding they asked for a holiday for her birthday and they went away for a week, because xxx was upset. It explained why every time I was asking to book our honey moon I was being told we should wait a few months first before going anywhere to get over the wedding. So he technically took his two daughter to his honeymoon 😂again my MIL was totally distraught I was distraught but I thought about her feelings and forgot about it. Yes I’ve got a DH problem big time the girls needed guiding when he decided to date but it seems he over promised the ex and the girls things he could not stand by or keep. Impossible when you involve a third party.
He even tried to have councelling to figure out why he can’t find a balance that didn’t work. He still expects me to smile and wave and look pretty while neglecting my feelings and needs. I thought that marriage would change things, it some things not much. The girls continue to dominate and I have to say yes. Or we have problems. Well I will push for change as much as I can if not then I’ll jump out.

yes he does, he buys them small gifts just from him. I think this has opened my eyes a lot and moving forward everyone should just receive one gift from us. That should simplify things to ALL concerned because we are ending up spending a fortune on presents to family unnecessarily. Perhaps this is what they have always done and I just joined the mix but it needs to change, even my kids need just one present from us really. I’ll discuss this with him today so that I’m making change to everyone not just his girls. For example him and my SIL have bought their dad a present together but he emailled me with what he wants for Christmas. Knowing that his two kids have already got him something. Same for my SIL I always get her and her kids presents (money) and he never gets them anything so perhaps and doesn’t ask to be included.