Thank you all, Christmas was lovely and chilled, you won’t believe it but where I come from we don’t do presents at all just food music and dance.
My kids forgot about presents too they haven’t asked. there is no Christmas tree either. But their presents are back in England waiting for them I couldn’t carry them. They are outside from am to pm playing with cousins.
UPDATE. my DH received my solicitor’s email and was shocked that I had decided to get a solicitor rather than speak to “my husband” like all married couples do. I told him I’ve tried talking to him but it’s in vain. He never listens to anything I say, my job is just to say yes as far as he is concerned.
Ive said he should provide everything the solicitor asked for then we start from there, he said he won’t but he is happy to show me when I get back.
Said his Will leaves everything to his 3 kids and I get the spousal pension and his life insurance benefits.
He said he has been supporting the ex financially a little bit and that’s why he keeps saying he is broke when he earns 6 figures.
I asked why he is supporting her when their kids are working and earning more than me, she works too on a very senior role so her pay won’t be low.
when they divorced she kept everything they owned and he kept his pensions only, as that is what she wanted and he had agreed as eventually his kids would inherit from her. they also made a financial order in court for a clean break.
he was paying for the girls up until they all started working.
since they divorced he got a different job earning way more than he earned when they were together and she feels entitled to his salary, he got this job after we had started living together, she refused to sell the house to downsize, and now the house is dilapidated and needs constant repair so the money he is giving her is for maintaining the house for the girls.
He constantly goes there to fix things and clear the house, he once spent a whole week cleaning and preparing her house ready for selling.
she never sold the house after that and got into a snit because we got engaged and she wasn’t told, she still hasn’t sold the house and expects money to maintain it which she has been getting.
I asked how much and he said it’s too small to even mention.
I’m so angry I pay everything 50/50 in our house and save very little yet. I’ve been taken advantage of on a larger scale than I even thought.
I’ve said to him unless he sends EVERYTHING to my solicitor I will not return I will find somewhere to go and start the divorce process. I’ve blocked him, until I return because the phone calls were getting ridiculous. He was phoning everyone including my dad to speak to me. Blocked everywhere. I just don’t know how I can be in this marriage again. I really don’t.
As usual he received his Xmas gifts and cards from his girls, my FIL also received gifts from them nothing for me or their my DD. Which is ok but at least we didn’t have to sit there and spectate as the ooohhsss and ahhhhsss they opened their gifts.
my FIL in law was so stressed he went back to his home yesterday, he said it’s the worst Christmas he has ever had, he missed his wife terribly, he missed me and the kids terribly that my DH was stressed and anxious 24/7 especially when the girls were coming.
I’m sure he missed being looked after and waited on no doubt about that. He asked me what was wrong and I said nothing I just went to see my family. they can all to hell!!!
no point talking to him he will only take his side and never ever hear me out.
so yeah I’m busy trying to find a place to stay when I get back. I’m stressed but I feel good because when I confronted my hubby about the whole situation I really told him my piece of mind. All he kept saying is that I can’t just be upset because of presents it’s silly that he put both our names on the presents anyway. Apparently his DD missed their sister very much 🙄🙄. I told him it’s not about presents anymore it’s the unfairness of my marriage.