Ainu to not want to buy step kids Christmas present

Please please what ever your do make sure you don't add your name to your husband gifts they don't deserve anything let me message be loud and clear!!! The spoilt brats are rude especially where they reject some gifts please keep us updated what happens if there is any posts this one has triggered me! I wish you luck! And make sure you treat & spoil yourself! Merry Xmas& a happier new year!

Ahhh dear me! Another tale of years of trying to be a blended family member and ultimately, rejection. When it comes from your DH too, is there much point?

The girls have never sent you a card? Not even a Happy Xmas Dad and …Mamana”? Shameful. This is unkind.

https://www.co-oplegalservices.co.uk/media-centre/articles-may-aug-2018/how-does-marriage-affect-your-will/

Of course we are but when buying family presents we don’t buy them separately. I’d think it was very odd if I received a present from my mum and a separate one from my step dad.

Chuck a Christmas card under the tree saying ‘Merry Christmas hope you love the insert name of DH’s gift. All my love Xxxx’. Job done.

If the will.predates your marriage then the will is invalid, and you will inherit as his wife as per British law. So if that's the case, keep your gob shut so he doesn't change it.

One option is to get them both a nice box of chocolates (but that’s me being a people pleaser!) They can’t then complain that you got them “no present”, and in future make sure your name goes on presents from DH.

Tricky but as you as a parent, albeit a step one I think you should carry on giving. That said, can your DH not do presents from both of you?

I absolutely feel your pain. I have 3 DSC and I have a very good relationship with them. They are 20, 18 and 14, and live with us for the majority of the time. I have always gone out of my way to make their birthdays special. Taking time to learn their interests and scouring the internet to find presents to suit their sometimes unusual likes. Yesterday was my birthday and I didn’t even get a text from the older two. My DP only does the ‘big’ gift and always sign it from both of us, but as they’ve got older they want money so if I didn’t do it they would have nothing to open on the day. It’s not just birthdays and Christmas, but all of the time making sure that I get the food/drinks/toiletries etc that they like, but I’ve made the decision today that I will no longer be making the effort (apart from the 14 year old because he’s a sweetheart for the moment!).

He's just trying to protect his own arse so he doesn't have to explain why you haven't gifted them anything.

What a thoughtful man

If it puts your mind at ease at all - as his spouse, if he dies and leaves you less than you would likely have got in a divorce (so if it’s less than 50% of all his assets, possibly he’d need to leave you a bigger percentage if you are reliant on his wealth for your retirement or are still bringing up your joint children, etc.), you can challenge the will and would likely win. Not that anyone wants that sort of conflict after a bereavement, and I do think it’s right that someone who remarries makes decent provision for any children from before the marriage. But don’t just accept that he can do as he pleases with his assets, that’s not entirely the case.

You should definitely get a little time with a solicitor and understand your rights so you can make decisions going forward that will protect you and your DC.

@Mamana127 stop being bullied by this horrible man and seek legal advice re matrimonial wealth.

Stop buying them presents, they don’t deserve them. Your husband needs to have your back on this.

Please update us all on how it goes. I can’t wait to hear how those girls respond. The whole situation sounds so unfair on you and it’s great you are sticking up for yourself. It really sounds like a DH problem to me.

The gifts he buys them should be from you too.

You might also get more if you divorced.....worth asking the question of a solicitor

Legal advice needed- Surely your marriage invalidates his previous will? Wouldn't that be a nice little gift for his daughters 😀

Are you not both individuals?

Your DH is bu if they were under 18 I'd see his point but they are both grown adults.
He should be in charge of buying gift for his side of the family 'from' both of you anyway so that shouldn't be an issue

WTAF?? They are rude, entitled brats and your DH is a prize A hole for condoning it. I cannot believe they don’t even buy anything for their siblings, poor kids. Stick to your guns, I’d die on this hill!!

Bizarre behaviour by your step kids, definitely don’t buy them anything! I buy my mum and my step dad presents when I go abroad. My mum re-married about 5 years after my dad passed. I always ask my mum for suggestions on what to get my step dad as I want him to love his presents. I get joint gifts from them both when they visit me. Can’t imagine why they are so rude to you when it sounds like you have always tried. Maybe they are influenced by their mum?!

My children are step children and not earning yet but they still buy their step dad a gift and I would never allow them to behave like this, nor would they want to behave like this.

This is awful. My DSD is on the other side of the world and she gets my DS to get me a bunch of flowers.

If your DH wants them to have presents he can buy them and wrap them.

You are most definitely not being unreasonable. All credit to you for biting your lip for so long and trying to do the right thing. It's seems you have managed this with sensitivity and kindness and rose above it during their childhood/teenage years but they are adults now. This is rude and disrespectful. Also from the MIL comments it seems they are irritated / angry about you doing it and are clearly talking about it within their family and they want you to stop. I agree with others that your husband is at fault here for allowing it to go on for so long. What about the hurt your own children must feel by being ignored by their step sisters. I would definitely not cave in to your DH. He is being just as hateful as his daughters by refusing to not address the gifts from both of you and supporting you by showing a united front. Sending separate gifts has probably exacerbated the situation rather than cut it dead before it became a problem. You are a couple and therefore gifts should be from both of you. I can understand perhaps if he was newly separated or divorced and they were young children but this is just a hurtful way to be treated and has probably made the whole things far worse than it needs to be. It's a bizarre way for him to act and it seems they are taking their father's and grandmas's lead. I hope things can be resolved through communication with him, I wonder if this is the only issue or whether there are other examples of him not taking your feelings into account. I do hope things get sorted.

Put it on your husband. Make him buy them presents from the two of you.