How to keep everyone happy on Xmas day?

32 replies

DILLEYDALLEY · 15/12/2024 10:35

How do you keep everyone happy at Christmas? Parents separated. One parent lives down the road, one lives about 40 mins away. I have two DC (DS 7, DD 4). I'm a single parent. Both parents single. Usually see one parent Christmas eve and one Christmas day. I don't want to drive 40 mins there and back on Christmas day, like to have a drink with Christmas lunch and easier to go to parents house where we can walk or get a taxi home. Cousin has also asked to see us and I've said no (but they're fine with that!). Parent who lives 40 mins away always upset we don't go there on Christmas day. There is always an invite to mine on Christmas morning but they never accept. They often ask if we can stay Christmas eve to Christmas morning and I always say no because DC should be in their own bed. Have offered to have Christmas lunch at mine then Christmas dinner in evening with nearer parent but they want us to go there. I'm just fed up with the guilt every Christmas. Dauguter has additional needs (behavioiral) and just dont want to do close to 1.5 hours of travel. I do get it seems unfair but I just dread Christmas day plans every year. How do I keep everyone happy?

OP posts:

Original poster

DILLEYDALLEY · 15/12/2024 10:43

Rainingandlookslikeitwillneverstop · 15/12/2024 10:42

Impossible to keep everyone happy and do everything on Christmas Day

prioritise your child with special needs and what works for her and your direct (living in your household ) family. Have a C lovely Christmas Day that works for you.

invite adults in wider family to come to you over the Christmas period.

don’t feel guilty .

It's just the obsession with Christmas day. I just like to be close to home. Able to nip home if I forget something. Able to get a taxi home and have a drink (other parent thinks I'm prioritising alcohol over them). It's just so stressful.

OP posts:

WhyDoesDenisNotRhymeWithPenis · 15/12/2024 10:42

Other people are responsible for their own happiness. Opt out of trying to pander to people and make yourself happy.
Your parents can easily figure out how to visit you.

Rainingandlookslikeitwillneverstop · 15/12/2024 10:42

Impossible to keep everyone happy and do everything on Christmas Day

prioritise your child with special needs and what works for her and your direct (living in your household ) family. Have a C lovely Christmas Day that works for you.

invite adults in wider family to come to you over the Christmas period.

don’t feel guilty .

oopsupsideyourheadisayoopsupsideypurhead · 15/12/2024 10:41

Stay home and let them visit you.

Undisclosedlocation · 15/12/2024 10:40

You don’t. You stop tying yourself in knots to pacify the one parent who wants things their way without compromise
As long as you see both at some point, they are going to have to accept that an inevitable part of splitting up is that your child has extra households to accommodate over the holidays. You’ve suggested other options which are apparently unacceptable, so there’s no more you can do.

Edit- I would alternate personally though and do the occasional Xmas day with each but that’s just me. Unless the additional needs of your child mean you NEED her to be in her own home overnight I would stay occasionally

Original poster

DILLEYDALLEY · 15/12/2024 10:39

healthybychristmas · 15/12/2024 10:37

No, I agree with you. Once you've had children then the in-laws or parents should travel to you if you invite them.

It's just the guilt of still going to other parent's house but it's only because it is close by and we can just wander round.

OP posts:

healthybychristmas · 15/12/2024 10:37

No, I agree with you. Once you've had children then the in-laws or parents should travel to you if you invite them.

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