I'm so sorry that I have been missing in action all day. I had to take to my bed with the vapours earlier. I have some devastating news - although some of you may not be too surprised.
You see, when I heard that Lady Ashton was in possession of one, I had a little chat with my maidservant. We all know that, despite her marrying him for his money, Lord Ashton finds dispensing of liquid assets a little... challenging. At first I thought that maybe she had acquired the rather distasteful 'alternative' that someone here suggested, for a mere £29. £29?? I mean heavens above, one has to wonder what sorry of inferior product comes in at that price. But no, my maidservant (the quite wonderful Naomi. She used to work for the Royal Family don't you know, until... well, there was a bit of a do. Not her fault at all, but you know what that family are like! Anyway, we snapped her up, and we are quite delighted with her.
Anyway, she's very close to one of the kitchen maids at the Ashton's. And not only could she furnish me with the information that it is in fact genuine, but she could tell me that it was a gift from a... well, first she said a gentleman admirer. But with a bit of pressure, she admitted it was Earl Tilypu!
He has been out all day, and now I suspect I know what Jezabel he has been consorting with.
I will speak with him on his return and of course I will update you all.
Thank you all so much, you have been too kind, every one of you. I know I can rely on your support while I navigate these tricky waters. It is absolutely unacceptable that he has allowed himself to be spotted while engaging in his little proclivities.