5 months pregnant and found out my husband lied about his past

He has destroyed your trust and the fact he will not legally marry is a huge red flag . The trust in your marriage is all one-sided. Leave if he will not commit. What were your family thinking allowing him to leave you with no legal protection? All my Muslim friends had two marriage ceremonies. Religious and civil

OK so you're not legally married.

Is the baby planned? I can't understand why you became pregnant almost at the same time as starting your PGCE. You probably won't even complete it before your baby arrives.

??? thought they were married?

Hopefully, young women will tell them where to stick the 'trend'.

Do not prioritise this lying, controlling, sexist hypocrite over you and your baby. Not being married probably helps if you leave - go to your parents, have your baby and complete your PGCE.

Religion has a lot to answer for. All it does is cause wars and trouble.
Muslim men appear to have double standards more than most. Who else would insist women they marry are virgins but they can have sex as much as they want before marrying. I wonder what they think of all the women they had sex with before they married?

It's too late now OP but you married young, you've not got a career under you belt yet, but you're expecting a baby. And neither of you appear to have enough money to live independently. Although why the moral outrage at not renting somewhere is unbelievable- another religious principle?

It's not great is it?

You don't know this man any more. He's a liar and I'd not be surprised if he carries in lying.

Can you live with this? It's not his past that is the issue, it's his lies.

You're mistaken if you think this is an issue that only exists among Muslim men. There's a huge trend among Gen Z men to obsess over 'body count' and wanting to marry women who are virgins and live a trad life.

Would it help if you went to stay with your parents for a couple of weeks? You could maybe think more clearly about what you want to do. You could also say you would only go back when you have had a legal marriage. His reaction to being separated from you could give you an idea of whether you want to stay married. Do you believe you will get a place of your own? Or do you think once you have the baby his family will want you to stay there and you won't have control of your life and family?
If you are going to stay together you really need a legal marriage. If your relationship has already been rocky and he's threatened to leave you, you really need him to demonstrate he has as much commitment and love to contribute to your marriage as you have. You do sound like you would really like your marriage to succeed, but you need proof that he does. Good luck.

This is the utter hypocrisy of many (dare I say most?) Muslim men though. It used to be almost all men from all cultures and religions, but thankfully most men have left those outdated ideas in the 1950s; that being that the women they marry should be virgins, while the same standard needn't apply to them. Muslim men and some others from very conservative communities still have a bit of catching up to do and need to be reminded it's the 21st century. I just couldn't respect a man that was such a blatant hypocrite.

OP has he been physically violent yet?

Because if not, given everything else you’ve said about him, it’s only a matter of time.

I definitely cannot tell my family because they'll hate him and force me to leave him which I don't want, not to mention defaming his character and his family.

What would happen if the shoe was on the other foot? He would openly announce this to the local community to shame you and to tarnish your character.

Ask him why this shouldn't happen as he stated he would if he found out you were not a virgin. He needs to justify why it shouldn't be the case the other way around.

This isn't really about "his past" in terms of who he had sex with before you married. It's not about his not having done anything bad since you married, either. It's about his hypocrisy and lies, and those have been part of your marriage.
If a man insists he will only marry a virgin, that's up to him. If he states that the same is true for him, I wouldn't personally agree that his insistence is "right" but he's entitled to his views and preferences.
But he didn't do that, he made a massive issue about your virginity and lied about his own sexual past, and was a complete hypocrite to boot.
He might now be "fighting for you" but actually, I doubt it. Has he explained why he lied? Has he acknowledged that he was not only lying, but hypocritical? Has he accepted that his own insistence on your virginity was unfair and unreasonable?
I can totally understand why you are struggling to believe what he says now, because he has shown you in clear, open terms that he cannot be trusted about any of these sorts of things.
If you knew about his past before you married and were now distressed about it, those feelings of distress would be real, but they would also be something you had to deal with. But this situation is completely different.

There are Muslim men who aren't like this so this isn't an inherent Muslim thing

Spot on, @JamTartLover. Islam teaches respect for wives, so actually this is a cultural thing which also doesn't apply across the board

But it applies here with this particular man/family, so how to respond has to be OP's choice, even if that's to stay and suffer

I would bet my house that this man will cheat on you.

You don't have it in your heart to leave him as you're too attached?

This misogynistic twat has lied to you and you've had issues already despite the short marriage. You're in love with someone that doesn't exist.

I appreciate you belong to a religion that is known for treating women like second class citizens, but please have some self respect. This is the 21st century where women are entitled to be treated with respect and as equals. You won't be ruining his name - he did that all by himself.

I would be absolutely repulsed if I married a man who valued virginity so highly then to find out he had been behaving like a man-whore! I would struggle to ever respect him again, so it's not surprising you feel like that.

Go and stay with your parents for a while. Have some time to think. They don't have to know what he has done.

Based on everything you’ve said I wonder if you’re of Pakistani origin?

I’m not Asian myself but I am a Muslim so understand the religious and cultural element.

As his wife, you have the right to live separately and you need to insist on that. If you’re staying with your in laws once baby is there it’ll be harder for you to leave and you will get a lot of interference from his parents on how to raise your child. If he refuses, you should seriously consider moving back home until he accepts you need your own home.

Re his past, he’s a typical hypocritical POS to insist on virginity for you but he’s not one himself. Men like him are vile. He lied to you and made you believe your relationship is something that it’s not. You need help processing your emotions and counselling will be good for you. What’s done is done but it’s how you feel and what you need going forward that matters now.

THIS OP
You really need to prioritise yourself. As hard as it is, him and his family and what they might be thinking isn't the most important thing right now.
You need to share this and get support

This marriage isn't going to get better. It started with lies, coercion and threats - and you aren't even legally married.

Tell your parents and ask for their help. Being a single parent isn't easy, but it's better than a lifetime in an unhappy/ possibly abusive relationship.

Leave now before the baby is born - you have no idea how he may attempt to control you after the baby arrives.

So for your family to say they want you to leave him, it must mean they are really worried about you. You could go back to live with them. You could ask them to respect you and your child by not announcing to everyone what's happened, but ask for their help.

Then file for child support from this guy.

This family does not care about you or your well-being- go back to your parents and stay there. Or at least until he agrees to a legal marriage

You need professional help. A stranger won't have an opinion on him that they'll share. You don't have to protect him. Often people protect people they shouldn't and it comes at a very high cost to themselves.

Standing up for what you want or demanding to be treated with respect is not manipulative, not is changing your mind.