He left me in city centre…

@Jimjamssy Oh yes threats of suicide, had that. But by that time I was just numb to it. He's still alive had no intention of harming himself. He would share samaritans posts on Facebook.

Oh and don't be surprised at the threats to self harm, suicide etc.

You report that immediately to the police as that is just further abuse of us by trying to manipulate and control you with threats.

He's scum.
He's not going to like at all that everyone knows and that you really are done.

Protect yourself and don't take any chances with your safety.

This is a bad man.

@Craics90 well done, I've just read through this thread tonight after posting when he left you stranded. You've done brilliant. Have a lovely Christmas and New Year. You will go through a roller coaster of emotions for quite a while but, look back on these posts and remember that you made the best choice for you and your children.

Doing great, OP.
When the pleading, begging, apologies, crocodile tears, declarations of love eternal ( not genuine but supposed to draw you back so he gets the home comforts while carrying on as before, )

adding on punishing you for daring to ban him even temporarily

doesn't work, he will turn nasty, obstructive etc
So any communications through lawyers, as I think I said before. Push on..get him legally out and sorted PDQ because he will fight it, draw it out if he can

I know you have this, and applaud you from the sidelines

They've separated, @Rubix89.

Nah this behaviour is downright nasty and abusive. Maybe easy for me to say but I’d be seriously questioning the relationship after that. How can there be any level of trust and sense of safety, like how can anyone justify being so ungrateful to the efforts their partner made, being verbally abusive. Regardless of whether you had means or not to get home, why on earth would anyone think it’s ok to just up and leave their partner the way he did?? OP. That’s not the behaviour of someone who likes you, let alone someone who is supposed to love you.

What an absolute legend you are.

You're a legend, the fud's probably starting to realise how much he's fucked up.

OP
Definitely do everything above!!!

I salute you @Craics90 😁

Prepare yourself for real nastiness and viciousness when he finally realises its over.
Tell everyone that will listen that domestic abuse and his extreme coke habit are why you are divorcing, is wise to get in front of this.

Make it very clear to him that you are prepared to go to the police to report both the abuse and drug use.

Make it clear that you have appointed a divorce lawyer.
Repeat to him all that he said about not caring if you were hurt when he abandoned you, preferably by text so you have a record of all the awful things he said.

Get a video door bell to record him if he comes near your door.

He is a bully.
Bullys hate people knowing the truth.
This is all his shame.
Remember that.

So let him know that everyone now knows the truth of his sbuse of you and the children and his drug usage.
The slightest hint of aggression, ring the police.

Key in the door, plus door chains if you can.
Never allow him into the house.
Tell him he can go via the courts to see the children and explain his coke use to thcojudge.
You have so got this.

Me too! You are a Queen Craics90 & I hope you & your lovely children are blessed. So good to read a post where a wronged wife takes action & kicks that useless man to the curb. We are all rooting for you x

I love how when I read your posts OP I can hear them in an Irish accent in my head. You are phenomenal!

And you should be the love of your life because, repeat after me, you are a FUCKING GODDESS!!!

You are doing so well! Honestly, men can be predictable, of course he was eyeing up the young girl in accounts 🙄
He clearly wasn't thinking about the 'love of his life' then was he?!

You are far better off without him.

My Queen

doffs cap

Go Girl ; you rock !
Thankyou from your children -
bloody well done,
keep strong , it’s not easy but you now know who your friends are
sending lots of admiration and hugs
xxxx

Have you get anything more ?

Sometimes the sadness doesn’t come . As why would it you are well rid!

What may happen is when you are in a good place feeling and looking better than ever , he may up the asking you back and you may weaken as time has passed.
Then you have to dig deep and remember the bad times not the few good ones .

Well done OP! Don't be ashamed of crying at any point. It's normal to grief the future you planned. Just concentrate on practical while you can, don't forget to look after yourself, eat and drink regularly. The children need you.
Read this back in 12 months. You'll be amazed at who you become.

A rat!
you deserve better. Men are a different specimen.

We do sleepwalk to a degree because we don’t expect people to lie to us, especially the one who claims to love us. We expect them to be as truthful in the relationship as we are. We think marriage is based on trust..so we trust, not realising the predators wear these masks.
Awareness has grown enormously over the past couple of years so more and I think places like mumsnet are invaluable. It’s astonishing that most women with husband problems have the same kind of man. Some are just dicks, but a frightening number are way up on the narcissist spectrum.

most abused women go back to the abuser on average 7 times before leaving for good. Trauma bond is powerful. I went back 3 times. You hopefully will be zero. Some obviously, to make it average , go back a lot more often.

Glad you are a strong person with a support network, the lack of which drives some women back. Edited typo

Thanks for flagging @LaceAndCrimes - if you’ve spotted the pattern with this poster, MNHQ should be a little quicker off the ball to ban the poster, too.
The gaslighting of abuse victims on this board has been especially bad of late.

It got deleted so quickly - thankfully - I think not many people will have had time to read it, so really thought it was worth a warning. Women post from very vulnerable situations and it's dreadful to have someone replying like that. I'm glad you didn't entertain it for a second, but even so it's good to have confirmation that it's a pervasive troll who is spouting that stuff all over the place and it's nothing to do with your thread, just a person with a major issue all of their own!