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AIBU?

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He left me in city centre…

881 replies

Craics90 · 15/12/2024 02:32

Went in to City Centre today for DH’s birthday. A few of his friends had also arranged to go in today. I asked if he’d prefer to go out with said friends and he repeatedly said no.

Queue 4pm when he began acting like a total arse to me. We went to the usual Christmas market, had some food, waded our way through the crowds to get anywhere and went on a bar crawl.

He’s useless with directions so I usually guide us between bars etc. I asked him multiple times where he wanted to go next and he kept saying that he didn’t mind.

Went to his favourite bar, queued for 40 mins to get inside, got one drink. Whilst standing basically the toilet door, people slamming in to us spilling drink down my back I asked if he wanted to maybe go somewhere more local where we could actually get to the bar and have a dance?

He stormed out of the bar rambling on that I should have stayed at home, even though I spent weeks planning the night and booking in to his favourite restaurant which he made me cancel last night costing me 80£ for late cancellation!

I tried calling him and he told me to F off and said he didn’t care how I got home because I’m not his problem. Therefore, leaving me stranded in the city. Every taxi I stopped was booked and I had to call my elderly dad to come and get me. I felt like such a dick.

Obviously DH had this planned so he could go off and meet friends instead of just saying in the first place. I am so hurt.

He has just came home bashing the door with three others trying to get in and I haven’t opened it. First of all I was asleep and they woke me with the banging, but second of all - bringing people back here when he knows I would be in bed?

AIBU for not opening the door?

OP posts:
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Icepinkeskimo · 22/12/2024 01:35

Stay strong OP, you’ve got a lovely family by the sounds of it, and some good friends. You need support when going through this.

As for gobshite ex, no amount of sweet talking, threats, drama or stupid stunts is worth entertaining.

He’s been smacked down to earth with a bump, I’m wondering what Jack the lads next move is? It’s like some men have to the last word, like a point scoring system. Well my ex did, and even though I just wanted to give him a good kick between the legs, I had to find the strength to say nothing.

Jumpingthruhoops · 22/12/2024 00:58

Craics90 · 15/12/2024 10:25

@Whoyoutakingto I am so sorry that this happened to your daughter. I really hope she will be ok and get not only justice but some peace. I’m sure you are heartbroken too. Thoughts are with you all 💚

I can’t forgive him either. Six women have been murdered in our city at the hands of men in the space of 12 weeks. Men that they knew, and men that they didn’t know.

I said to him this morning, you know how I feel about the city and being alone. Anything could happen to anyone and you could have told me you wanted to go on and waited until I got a lift out of the way. Instead you left me to it. And hid reply was “nothing happened to you. You got what you deserved, and if something did happen then you would have also gotten what you deserved”

I mean, that last sentence is utterly vile to come from anyone let alone your actual husband! I know what you 'deserve': someone better!

Mudflaps · 22/12/2024 00:53

wigsonthegreenandhatsforthelifting · 22/12/2024 00:40

You don't have to answer if you don't want to for anonymity purposes... but are you in Dublin because I felt a lot of what you said sounded more Belfast? Or maybe we're just all alike! Talking about yer da, and ye, and yous, and the craics90 is all very Belfast, and going into the city centre lol!!

All very Dub I can assure you, I'm not a Dub (proud Lily White but spent far too long socialising in Dublin when younger, Clondalkin early in the evenings, city centre later on or Tallaght if we left it too late for the city) and that's exactly what I remember the chat being like. I think across the country we're more alike than we realise. Was looking for a Christmas card for my father today, not one that said Da, I've never called him Dad so didn't want that on a card, it was Daddy up to about age 11 and then Da, I'm in my 50's now and he's still Da (and the absolute best in the world) Also I absolutely understand the op calling hers for a lift, I was working, living with my ds and in my late 20's and my Da insisted on driving from north Kildare to Grafton St to collect me and some colleagues from a Christmas work party in thecearly hours because we'd never get a taxi willing to take us home, he poured us into his car and laughed all the way home, Irish Da's are a breed all of their own. He's 80 now and my son lives with him, my dh and I are spending Christmas with them and the arguments about cooking will be hilarious.

Jumpingthruhoops · 22/12/2024 00:50

I had to double check that this man is your husband OP and not some random guy you just met... because that's sure as hell what it sounded like!

This is not how a real man treats a woman. You need to have a serious conversation about your future.

wigsonthegreenandhatsforthelifting · 22/12/2024 00:40

Craics90 · 22/12/2024 00:21

Can any of my lovely Dubs on here tell me how we recreate the Harry Potter scene where we just stand on the road and the bus appears? 🤞🏼

Lord save us there’s many a gobshite on here tonight girls.

I hope to Jesus you girls never find yourselves in a situation of being in bed and having strange drunk and drugged up men in your home.

Stay safe and stay grounded my loves.

Absolute legends. 💚💚💚💚💚

You don't have to answer if you don't want to for anonymity purposes... but are you in Dublin because I felt a lot of what you said sounded more Belfast? Or maybe we're just all alike! Talking about yer da, and ye, and yous, and the craics90 is all very Belfast, and going into the city centre lol!!

Pupinskipops · 22/12/2024 00:31

Craics90 · 15/12/2024 11:07

Thank you for all of your replies. I really do appreciate having someone to talk to and a hand hold. I’m really devastated right now. He also called me a “jumped up tart” because of me not opening the door scenario. I’m not a tart, but it’s the first time I’ve been called one lol. Anyway, I need to get my ducks in a row. A few friends have messaged me saying they all met up and he told them I went home sick. It shows me he is ashamed of his own actions and regardless of what he says he knows it was wrong.

I need out of this marriage and to be as far away as possible.

Yes, you do. This is an abusive relationship and you need to walk away without looking back. You deserve so much more, and he deserves nothing. Best of luck! xx

Craics90 · 22/12/2024 00:21

Can any of my lovely Dubs on here tell me how we recreate the Harry Potter scene where we just stand on the road and the bus appears? 🤞🏼

Lord save us there’s many a gobshite on here tonight girls.

I hope to Jesus you girls never find yourselves in a situation of being in bed and having strange drunk and drugged up men in your home.

Stay safe and stay grounded my loves.

Absolute legends. 💚💚💚💚💚

OP posts:
wigsonthegreenandhatsforthelifting · 22/12/2024 00:18

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IdylicDay · 22/12/2024 00:17

WisdomOverGold · 21/12/2024 23:54

Here we go again with "he's showing abusive behavior but I keep tolerating him". I'm so sorry OP. I thought the question at the end would be "Where can I get the best divorce lawyer?"

@WisdomOverGold You haven't even bothered to read the OP's latest posts/updates on this thread before replying, have you.

Imbusytodaysorry · 22/12/2024 00:16

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Craics90 · 22/12/2024 00:11

@JoBoJoBo ah you’re right Jo. I’d 12 Guinnes in me and a half bottle of Jameson.

Would you like a video update of my next outing?

OP posts:
Craics90 · 22/12/2024 00:09

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@EJC69 ah love, thank you for coming on and giving me the wake up call that I needed.

I’ll be sure to book myself in to some couples counselling.

Ps, I said my da was elderly - not frail. Jesus.

OP posts:
WisdomOverGold · 21/12/2024 23:54

Here we go again with "he's showing abusive behavior but I keep tolerating him". I'm so sorry OP. I thought the question at the end would be "Where can I get the best divorce lawyer?"

wigsonthegreenandhatsforthelifting · 21/12/2024 23:29

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wigsonthegreenandhatsforthelifting · 21/12/2024 23:26

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JoBoJoBo · 21/12/2024 23:26

wigsonthegreenandhatsforthelifting · 21/12/2024 23:12

How many lightweights do you know that get drunk on 2 glasses of wine?

Why are you ignoring all the other shit??

We only have her word that she had 2 glasses

wigsonthegreenandhatsforthelifting · 21/12/2024 23:24

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sammyjoanne · 21/12/2024 23:16

Im glad you have done what you have done and hes gone. What he did just plain sucks and totally disrespected you. I really really wish you and family have the best christmas you can do, and your new year is a really truely amazing one of self love, self care, and surrounded by people who love you and support you.

wigsonthegreenandhatsforthelifting · 21/12/2024 23:12

JoBoJoBo · 21/12/2024 21:31

Yes we only have 1 side of the story.If you were both drunk maybe you behaved badly too.I have friends who when drunk behave badly but blame others and have lack of insight into their behaviour .Why did you not get a bus home ?

How many lightweights do you know that get drunk on 2 glasses of wine?

Why are you ignoring all the other shit??

rightinthedavinamccalls · 21/12/2024 23:09

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Absolutely. The funniest bit for me was this - Why did you not get a bus home?

Yes not getting the bus was the problem 😂

Over40Overdating · 21/12/2024 22:47

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ThePoshUns · 21/12/2024 22:22

rightinthedavinamccalls · 21/12/2024 22:14

I see the thread has been hijacked by the menz. They are sooooo obvious😆

Innit? 🙄

rightinthedavinamccalls · 21/12/2024 22:14

I see the thread has been hijacked by the menz. They are sooooo obvious😆

RampantIvy · 21/12/2024 22:12

JoBoJoBo · 21/12/2024 21:31

Yes we only have 1 side of the story.If you were both drunk maybe you behaved badly too.I have friends who when drunk behave badly but blame others and have lack of insight into their behaviour .Why did you not get a bus home ?

Read the OP's updates.

JoBoJoBo · 21/12/2024 21:31

ZekeZeke · 15/12/2024 07:16

Were you both drunk?
No excuse for his carry on but I'm wondering are we hearing the full story.
You haven't replied which makes me think you fell asleep after your OP.

Yes we only have 1 side of the story.If you were both drunk maybe you behaved badly too.I have friends who when drunk behave badly but blame others and have lack of insight into their behaviour .Why did you not get a bus home ?

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