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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

He left me in city centre…

881 replies

Craics90 · 15/12/2024 02:32

Went in to City Centre today for DH’s birthday. A few of his friends had also arranged to go in today. I asked if he’d prefer to go out with said friends and he repeatedly said no.

Queue 4pm when he began acting like a total arse to me. We went to the usual Christmas market, had some food, waded our way through the crowds to get anywhere and went on a bar crawl.

He’s useless with directions so I usually guide us between bars etc. I asked him multiple times where he wanted to go next and he kept saying that he didn’t mind.

Went to his favourite bar, queued for 40 mins to get inside, got one drink. Whilst standing basically the toilet door, people slamming in to us spilling drink down my back I asked if he wanted to maybe go somewhere more local where we could actually get to the bar and have a dance?

He stormed out of the bar rambling on that I should have stayed at home, even though I spent weeks planning the night and booking in to his favourite restaurant which he made me cancel last night costing me 80£ for late cancellation!

I tried calling him and he told me to F off and said he didn’t care how I got home because I’m not his problem. Therefore, leaving me stranded in the city. Every taxi I stopped was booked and I had to call my elderly dad to come and get me. I felt like such a dick.

Obviously DH had this planned so he could go off and meet friends instead of just saying in the first place. I am so hurt.

He has just came home bashing the door with three others trying to get in and I haven’t opened it. First of all I was asleep and they woke me with the banging, but second of all - bringing people back here when he knows I would be in bed?

AIBU for not opening the door?

OP posts:
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eastcoasterly · 15/12/2024 02:39

I think you know the answer yourself already, and you're not the dick in this tale. Your dad, having to collect you, probably knows you deserve so much better than this. No good will come of addressing any of it while DH is drunk so wait until you're both properly awake and sober and then time to have a very clear and direct discussion of boundaries and whether this relationship is sustainable long term. I say relationship as you're not describing a marriage at this point. Marriage is team work, boundaries, clarity and communication. None of that is evident in your current relationship given what you've described. I hope you are safe OP. You did nothing wrong.

Namechangedforthis25 · 15/12/2024 02:38

Obviously this isn’t right and you deserve better

you can’t and should not live with a disdainful, aggressive, selfish f&ckwit of a man child like this

MamaWeasel · 15/12/2024 02:37

What an absolute bellend

Guest100 · 15/12/2024 02:35

Does he have a key?

Annabella92 · 15/12/2024 02:35

I hope you're making plans to seperate OP. I'm so sorry this happened to you, he has treated you with utter contempt and it would be over if someone treated me this way

Guest100 · 15/12/2024 02:35

Don’t open the door. What a horrible day. If he keeps banging maybe the neighbours will call the police. Turn your phone off and try to go back to sleep.

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