He left me in city centre…

I'm glad you have the support of your friends op.

Do check the legalities around the house. In the UK you can register an interest via the land registry - not sure if there is the same for you.

He’s talking out of his arse. He has a little bit of information but is weaponising it against you without having all the facts

“Pre-marital assets: These are personal property that usually stays with the original owner. This includes assets acquired before the marriage or received as gifts or inheritance. However, if pre-marital assets are mixed with marital assets or used for family purposes, they may be considered matrimonial assets”

“Non-matrimonial assets may be matrimonialised by intermingling with matrimonial assets.”
Link here

You need to get receipts and proof of your contribution to the renovations and funds into the house.

In Ireland, unless you signed a legal agreement before you got married then half the house is yours. So he's talking shite.

Where you out in Dublin? I was in town last night and it was absolutely bonkers, queues outside everywhere and a nightmare to get home.

Best of luck to you - I hope you know that you don't deserve a life like this and 2025 is much better for you and your kids.

My ex use to behave like this. I thought it was normal at the time. He deserted me in the markets of Bangkok once. Get rid of him! It will feel like the hardest thing at the time but growth is real.

You can do better, so do better 💖

Jesus Christ. Your updates.

Get yourself as far away as you can from this piece of shit excuse for a man. The words he has used against you are unforgivable

Oh dear. What a waste of time, to write such a long diatribe, on the basis of such poor reading and comprehension of the OP's posts

The children have never seen any of this type of behaviour. We also have a daughter and all I can think of is if someone treated her like this would be locked up in a cell.

Sorry OP, but I think you are very naive to think that your DC won't have picked up on his vile attitude toward you.

Sure, they might not have been there for specific incidents like last night, but it's very easy when you're in an abusive relationship to minimise the lower-level abuse you're subjected to on a daily basis because that becomes your "normal".

I often used to think "at least he's not hitting us" and assume that meant Ex-H's abuse wasn't 'serious' when my DC were little - unfortunately your DC will have picked up on far more than you realise, which will obviously be their "normal", and their blueprint for their own future relationships.

What a horrible bastard. There are no other words.

Sorry if you have already answered this, but are you able to go to your parents to stay and start divorce proceedings immediately?

As soon as you paid money into the house by renovating it, you should have been added to the deeds. You do need legal advice, but if you can prove that you paid for improvements, and depending on Irish law, you could still have a claim to half or some of the property.

I agree with PP that you should contact your friends and advise them that you only went home because he abandoned you. Reach out for support from the ones that you can trust

I might be completely wrong but that poster’s name seems to ring a bell with me and they do posts like this to women.

Please leave this man, you sound far too good for him.

I agree with this!

My friends and family were the same, they felt as powerless as me.

Why do you care?

You married this?

Divorce him, seriously.

Probably because at the time it suited him as was the case with my husband. However years later he had buyers regret.

Found the husband…

@Craics90 i also wouldn’t be hiding from the friends that you weren’t sick but that he created an argument, left you and has since said you deserved to be raped or murdered. I stopped hiding how bad it was and was surprised at how many friends voiced they had actually been worried about me but because I covered for him they didn’t feel they could say anything.

good luck. x

@Craics90 get rid of him he won't change he will continue to drag you down. My ex was exactly the same, he had a way of making me feel like I was the unreasonable one. In the end I didn't know my arse from my elbow, I was a shadow of myself. Then I snapped one day after he said something can't remember what, but I thought fuck this I dont deserve this. You don't deserve to be treated this way either nobody does.

My gosh dear OP, what an awful thing to say to you. Am glad you have your parents nearby and I hope you also have friends to lean on. This man has shown his true colours. I wish you love and strength in this next chapter as you forge ahead without this deadbeat.

Then why did he get married and have children?? Nobody forced him

He sounds absolutely horrible and in your place I think I’d be taking the DC and gong to your parents whilst seeking legal advice.

Do you think there was white powder involved last night? He sounds very volatile.

@Craics90 speaking from years of similar experience to yours I'd say he resents being married with children. He thinks he's missing out on the good life and freedom. Believe me this will get worse. His comments re property ownership rang a lot of bells. Please don't settle for this shit. Seek legal advice and tell him nothing.