He left me in city centre…

I’m so proud of you @Craics90 .
You deserve so much better than him! If he starts getting aggy remember you have your family, friends and we are only a message away. We will get you through this X

All best wishes to you and your children free of this waste of space. Be sure to plan lovely things, however simple, for yourself— you deserve it.

We've son and partner arrived from the Leeds area. In the last month there's been three rapes at bus stops. Two young girls rescued in separate properties who were being traded as sex slaves. Two girls who got into what they thought was an Uber, they've vanished. One young girls body found on an industrial estate.

The only reason sons partner knows this is because she's from a large family with relatives who work in the police, NHS and social services.

Not a whisper made in the media. Not a warning issued.

Wouldn't surprise me if Dublin wasn't similar.

In your place i would accidentally "lose" your keys and get a new set.

I would call Womens aid which is also in ireland for advice.
Tell them he is an angry, highly abusive coke head who has left you and the children.
Tell Womens aid about his threats re the home.
Get the name of a good solicitor.
Ask Womens aid should you log his abuse with the gardai as you are nervous of him and he is a coke head.
Get as much information together about how to protect yourself.

Tell EVERYONE that he is an angry coke head and you are terrified.
Get the information out there.

We are here for you.

Wonderful and courageous @Craics90 ! Now power through cutting all ties. He will come back at some point when his mother or his drunk/divorced/druggy friends can’t support him. So harden you defenses.

This is really abusive behaviour. My husband would never ever treat me like this or leave me alone stranded. He's never even shouted at me or fallen out with me. If I was treated this way not only would I not open the door but his belongings would be in bags in front of it and he might get back in once he figured out who the f he thought he was talking to when he told me to f off in the bar.

Well done, OP. You and your kids will be much better off without this waste of space.

Holy moly, what a dick!

Sounds like you've done the best thing, now make sure you have legal advice, and support, and look after yourself.
As to any joint accounts, take out half, then get your name removed from the account, as otherwise, any debts are half yours too, I believe. Certainly used to be, as my sister found out when her ex ran up a huge debt on a joint account.
Best of luck xxx

Great, good riddance to him. Your life will be immeasurably better without him in it. Awful man.

Sounds like another woman or a cocaine habit....something is definitely his priority and it's not you. Glad he left. Onwards and upwards, you will be better off without him.

I am so proud of you OP. This won't be easy but you are doing the best thing for yourself and your children in the long run. So so proud honestly!

I said it’s as simple as if ye don’t want people to think you’re a cunt then don’t act like one.

Nailed it!

Impressive turnaround on this OP 🤜

Thanks for reporting back OP.
It does sound like he has someone else to go to. Good luck to them.
Stay strong. Take all the support you can and plan your life without him.
Best wishes to you.

I'm just sat here, open mouthed at the comment he made about you deserving it if anything actually did happen to you. 😮I mean, wtf?! That is shocking.

I'm so glad to see your update and that he has left. Please start the ball rolling on a permanent separation/divorce OP. Get a Solicitor ASAP. Ensure any savings you have are in your sole name only. Any joint savings? Remove half before he removes all.

best of luck to you.

You absolute fucking goddess @Craics90 well done in getting this lowlife out. You and your kids will flourish without that prick. Sending you lots of love and strength ❤️

This. He’s been good with the children to keep them on his side. If you stayed or went back, he would eventually turn them against you. He be their hero and they will know how he treats you so you will be less than to them. Don’t even think about marriage counselling because they lie, and manipulate and it will be all your fault.
He probably has other women but if so, don’t think he won’t turn on them just the same after a time too. It’s a pattern of behaviour they cannot help. It’s hard wired into them.

Keep the ball rolling, stay in control and don’t talk to him . Go through solicitors and court and make the separation permanent and all legally sorted as quickly as you can because he may well try to be difficult once he’s had time to think about this turn of events

edited typo

Great response! Speaks volumes he isn’t at all bothered by his conduct or impact on you but only by fact others know. Feel for you OP. Many of us been there and it’s an absolute head and heart break. Well done for packing his bags. Unreal he leapt at chance. Keep your dignity and leave ball in his court. No man is worth your tears because if he was he wouldn’t make you cry in the first place. Surviving Christmas a must. Be last thing you feel like but keep busy and lean on the good people around you. You got this.

That would definitely be relationship over for me.

I know it was property they lived in. However luckily things have changed. OP put money into the house. My ex was raging when I did some repairs and decorating while he was away ( with a gf as it turned out) as he thought I’d be claiming part of his house if we broke up. Made me sign an agreement not to.

@Craics90 you need to get to a good solicitor

He thinks this is a game, that he can toy with you but that he will win. He’ll stay away a while & reappear when he can cause maximum drama. He’ll use the children as a weapon (you can’t keep me away from my kids).

You need to start putting measures in place to permanently get away from him.

Again he thinks this is a game. You need to take your ball back & end it.

I’m glad to hear that you kicked him out OP. He is a truly nasty piece of work. as others have said up thread he will most likely be back so have your ducks in a row and be prepared. Wishing you all the best. there are many many women on this site who have been through this and are very wise. They will support you if you need it.

I really don’t think it’s going to be this easy though!
Have you booked legal advice ?
He may be away having fun thinking he can appear at any time . Having all that freedom will soon stop being fun .
He will come back full of shit talk.

What’s next OP what are your plans ?