To not know what to do? Norovirus, newborn baby and c section

You can't determine when your elective will be, it could easily be a 4pm slot it's done on clinical need

The rates of reported reduced fetal movements goes up dramatically pre Xmas so there's a lot more people needing semi elective sections. We don't do electives on Xmas or boxing day due to reducing staffing so there's a lot more to squish in for that reason

I'm interested where you've come across same day discharges as I've worked in most of England and never come across such a thing.

Southampton is the most proactive I've ever come across for early discharges and even then it's 24h post op that they leave, and only if totally straight forward baby feeding well etc..the other 8 hospitals I've worked at people go home most frequently at 48h post op but can be longer than that

Eek, that does put a spit of time pressure on then!
But tbh although i wouldn't want to leave my (hypothetical) child with a stranger..
.Surely that is exactly what you do when they do their first day at nursery? It wouldn't be my first choice but I think I would prefer a few hours with a qualified stranger (not a random babysitter) in my own home over my DH missing the birth of his child.
And I wouldn't be comfortable asking around for someone to do it as a favour but would absolutely ask for recommendations for a professional.

I've had 2 sections OP and there is no way on earth I'd risk getting norovirus - the very thought of vomiting when you've had abdominal surgery is
it's just not worth the risk.

If it's any consolation, i gave birth to our second baby while DH was at home with our toddler. It was actually a really good experience, the MW's didn't leave my side and truthfully DH was as much help as a chocolate teapot anyway....!!

That's really rubbish sorry OP. I've had an elective c-section & although DH was there I would say you'll be fine alone, the doctors and nurses really look after you & the anaesthetists are the best. Good luck. Having a winter baby is tough with all the bugs around ❤️

I think OP said she is having the baby on Tuesday! No time for a trial run. I wouldn’t want to leave my toddler with a stranger. I know everyone keeps saying nursery staff usually offer babysitting, our nursery strongly discourage you from doing this so I’m surprised it’s an option at so many nurseries.

It’s really not always that simple to find childcare for a young child if you don’t have much of a network. I only really grew that mum friend network when my eldest hit pre school

You really don't want anyone in your immediate family to get norovirus, OP.

Is there anyone else who could watch your toddler on Tuesday, just during the C-section and for maybe a couple of hours afterwards? That way your DH could be there for the critical part? If it's an elective then presumably it's happening during daytime hours so it's not as if you'd need to leave your toddler with someone overnight.

Completely different situation, but when my second was born my husband went home after a few hours to look after our toddler and I spent two nights in hospital alone. (When I say alone, I mean my husband was only there during the daytime visiting hours and I was on my own overnight.) Being alone with my baby was actually wonderful and I cherish those memories. But I had had a VBAC so I had no problems getting in and out of bed or lifting my baby (compared to after my C-section).

Probably the best solution for you is going to be if you can have your C-section first thing in the morning and your husband can just stay for a couple of hours, then keep your baby in your arms as much as possible. If you can get discharged the same day (I know sometimes this is possible after a C-section) then you won't have to stay overnight on your own.

If you do have to stay in by yourself, my top tip would be to bring something like a long scarf you can tie to the end of your bed and use it to help lever yourself up and down, and use the buttons on the hospital bed to raise and lower it to the best height for getting in and out of bed and reaching for your baby in the bassinet.

I am really sorry, OP

That sounds so incredibly unfair and I'd be upset too.

I think you are doing the right thing though and you'll manage on your own. It is not ideal, so it's okay to feel sad about it, but you can do it and you'll have lovely hospital staff to hold your hand.

I wish you all the best and congratulations on your baby

This.

I can totally understand your upset op.

I think people are suggesting, to look around for people that you don’t know, who could potentially help you with childcare. Obviously, you have to be very responsible about it but ask other mums, other grandparents, parents’ friends, maybe even neighbours. An active grandmother type?

If a virtual stranger explained a situation like this to me and asked me to look after their child for a day or two, I would be fine with it.

Edited to say: I had a lovely calm c- section and a straightforward recovery. I felt I could be independent again, taking it very steady, on day four of recovery.

So sorry this is happening to you OP.

Just to put your mind at ease re c section, I've had 2 electives, both times I was up and walking within 6 or 7 hours, and had minimal pain. I really only felt a bit sore, like I'd done some exercise. I know that a handful of posters on here have had slightly more difficult recoveries, but I've never met anyone in real life who has had an elective who didn't have a smooth and pain free recovery.

There's lots of threads on here filled with comments from women who have had similarly great c section recoveries. Just keep on top of your pain meds and you should feel a bit tender at most.

Wishing you all the best.

What rotten luck. Overwhelmingly the consensus is to avoid the noro people.

If you end up alone, whilst not what you expected or want, it’ll be ok. Remember the procedure is to get baby here safely for him/her and you. That’s all that matters, ultimately.

I promise you that it’ll not change the outcome of your lovely, happy family whether dad saw him being born or hours later.

It’s perfectly reasonable that you’re upset, but it’ll be ok.

Do you really think forcing the OP to repeat she has no mum network is going to make her feel better in this situation?

My planned Caesarean was such a calm experience- I'm so glad my baby was breach so I had the excuse not to have a vaginal birth!

I couldn't move much for the first three days, but after that my recovery was quick and complication-free. It certainly wouldn't have been if I'd thrown Norovirus into the mix! It's just not worth the risk. I'm so sorry, though, I can totally understand why you're so upset at the thought of not having your husband there.

A bit of advice: while recovering, keep yourself topped up on paracetamol and ibuprofen (while obviously ensuring you have a break from them overnight- read the instructions carefully!) and invest in some massive cotton pants which will go up to your belly button and so will completely cover your scar.

I promise, it will all be okay.

Is the date of c section absolutely set in stone? Maybe if you rang and explained you'd have to do it on your own, you'd be able to delay by 48 hours and the risk of infection would be much lower. Planned c sections often get bumped for emergency ones anyway

Is the family member who was ill first someone who could look after your DC on their own? If so they’ll be over a week clear by then. They could come to your house and have DC there.

Alternatively could one of the nursery staff babysit at your home? At my DC’s nursery they all work 4 days a week as it’s such long hours so they each get a day off. If someone has Tuesdays off and no plans they could help.

There are also agencies who can provide vetted babysitters. Sitters is one.

Yes I would definitely see them on Christmas Day. Can they come to your house? One of the reasons it can spread beyond 48 hours is because it lives on surfaces. eg sick person goes to make themselves a cup of tea. Touches kettle. Germs linger for the next user.

I was suggesting asking. Not turning up with an iPad demanding to use it.

Can family do Christmas Sunday 29th? I’d 100% change my plans to include you if you were my family. You and your babies health is so important, and all these difficult decisions you’re making now are centred on that. I wouldn’t throw it all away for the sake of Christmas. I’d have Christmas at home as a 4, then family day later. Plus you’ll be 4 more days recovered so more likely to enjoy it.

I wouldn't go in with any hope of it happening.. I did obs the whole way through covid and it still wasn't allowed. It's a blanket rule and the men who disobey it are made to leave. We will take 100s of photos but it's not fair on the staff who can be stressed as it is with complex medical deliveries to then be worried about being filmed (most are v routine and "boring" but when it goes wrong its in a click of a finger). Ask sure. The 9 lw I've worked so far It's a no. With a quick Obstetrican you can be in recovery within an hour. Video call as much as you like tbeee

It won't be 1-2h. A csection itself takes about 1.5h and depending on how efficient the theatres is there will be 3-4 pts on a morning list. We decide the ordering on the day (diabetics go first then other medical reasons prioritised). So even the 8am arrival could go to theatre at 12. If there's an emergency csection that can't be done in the emergency theatre as in use then that will bounce in. If its generally crazy busy electives can get bounced to the next day (v rare prob only seen about 7x in 9y). But def don't go in with the idea of needing a 2h a babysitter as that won't happen

I was sick for two days, as was my DD (young baby at the time and again at 1). Norovirus is really nasty. At least you're having a c section and not going into labour because that would be longer on you own. I've not had a c section but I know it'll be significantly quicker than giving birth vaginally. You can just have the operation and then DH and child can visit. Family can visit when baby is 2 weeks old.

Sometimes creative solutions are worth considering. I work in the NHS and can see how stuck staff can get with inflexible rules that often don’t make total sense. With planning and attention to basic rules around hygiene and social media, I see no reason why an iPad could not work, if staff are willing to be flexible and supportive.

Videos are banned in theatre

Have there been any suggestions yet you could consider here? What about a doula?

Do you have a nursery whatsapp group where you could ask? A nursery worker? Koru Kids?
any of your DH’s relatives?
I am trying to help you.

Are you suggesting video calling from theatre? Totally banned in the 9 labour wards I've worked. Any husband making excited whatsapp calls post delivery in theatre gets 1 warning then will be told to leave

Sorry