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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What goes around comes around?

57 replies

iwasntexpectingthatoops · 14/12/2024 20:49

I have name changed for this.

Roughly 7 years ago you lot helped me when my DH left me after 20 years. He was having an affair.

The other woman took it upon herself to be extremely hateful towards me. Stalked me via social media, terrorised myself and my family. She ended up with a criminal record and restraining order (2 years after the split)
She took great delight letting me know she had "won my man". I didn't even know we were having a competition Grin

He never paid me any child maintenance, left us destitute. He is self employed.

Well, he's done exactly the same to get. Left her with her kids for another woman, she had nothing. No money, no home, nothing. Now she wants to befriend me and go after him for his money. Is this woman insane?

Well anyway, aibu if I literally don't give a shit and don't feel sorry for her one bit?

OP posts:
Dollybantree · 14/12/2024 21:58

Just completely ignore her. Why would you even engage with someone who was so hateful to you? She sounds like a nutter so sending a sarky reply will just set her off again.

verycloakanddaggers · 14/12/2024 21:57

Stalked me via social media, terrorised myself and my family. She ended up with a criminal record and restraining order (2 years after the split)
Don't engage at all, don't reply, say nothing.
Has the restraining order now lapsed?

You don't want any contact at all with them given the history.

betterangels · 14/12/2024 21:57

I'd have blocked her ages ago. Imagine having that much cheek, honestly.

Nodlikeyouwerelistening · 14/12/2024 21:54

Block and move on. I take it to mean there are no connections between you really anymore now they aren’t together. She sounds completely unhinged. Keep your dignity and don’t let her drag you down to her level.

Londonrach1 · 14/12/2024 21:51

Just block..life too short and she did you a favour getting rid of rubbish. Not your problem.

Ultravox · 14/12/2024 21:48

Not sure I could resist in replying. Probably something along the lines of “Goodness that is shocking! Isn’t karma a bitch!”

MrsTigerface · 14/12/2024 21:47

Ah, the karma bus has turned up. Bit late, as usual, but it always comes in the end. How fabulous that this isn’t your shit any more x

MumOfOneAllAlone · 14/12/2024 21:46

I think what I'd do is report her to the non urgent police again and say she's started contacting you again and you want it to stop!

JohnTheRevelator · 14/12/2024 21:42

Big time karma.

AlertCat · 14/12/2024 21:41

“Oh dear. Well, he does have form for this sort of thing, doesn’t he?”

”Really? Shocked, I am, shocked, I tell you!”

”Oh dear. No advice I’m afraid, he doesn’t support his own kids so why would you expect him to support kids who aren’t his?”

but IRL, of course just block her and move on, maybe with a little smile but not for too long 😆

tothelefttotheleft · 14/12/2024 21:35

stayathomer · 14/12/2024 21:11

Zone2NorthLondon

but why? What’s it going to do except start something up with her? And it’s nothing about women being nice, it’s just about why bother not being anything but indifferent

Edited

Being indifferent would be ignoring any communication from her.

LonginesPrime · 14/12/2024 21:32

Tell her to stop stalking you...

stayathomer · 14/12/2024 21:32

Zone2NorthLondon

ah yeah fair enough

EleanorBettyJackie · 14/12/2024 21:28

When a man marries his mistress, he creates a vacancy. She's a silly cow. Let her deal with him the way you had to - on her own.

Zone2NorthLondon · 14/12/2024 21:28

stayathomer · 14/12/2024 21:24

Zone2NorthLondon

see I wouldn’t see it as platitudes I’d personally see it as an off you go!!

Do you understand the ow was a perpetrator of emotional abuse. Receiving a restraining order for her actions. Absolutely no reason for op to reach the fuck out to her tormentor

Dymaxion · 14/12/2024 21:26

Well, he's done exactly the same to get. Left her with her kids for another woman, she had nothing. No money, no home, nothing. Now she wants to befriend me and go after him for his money. Is this woman insane?

She was quite happy in being complicit hiding his money from you when it suited her situation, so I think you block her and see how well she does getting a single penny out of him. Given his MO its likely to be four fifths of fuck all !

Jimjamssy · 14/12/2024 21:24

Completely ignore her.
Serves her right.

stayathomer · 14/12/2024 21:24

Zone2NorthLondon

see I wouldn’t see it as platitudes I’d personally see it as an off you go!!

Zone2NorthLondon · 14/12/2024 21:21

stayathomer · 14/12/2024 21:11

Zone2NorthLondon

but why? What’s it going to do except start something up with her? And it’s nothing about women being nice, it’s just about why bother not being anything but indifferent

Edited

Do you understand you’re asking op to make platitudes with woman who stalked her to extent she required an injunction? Why would op inanely say sorry? Sorry for what exactly

You’re advising superficial messaging and platitude to the abuser
No
Stop with the be nice routine

3luckystars · 14/12/2024 21:16

How did she make contact with you?

I hope his new girlfriend is not like her or she is in big trouble! I’m very glad he is in your rear view mirror.

Could you just say that’s all history, it’s behind me now and hopefully you can do the same.

MumOfOneAllAlone · 14/12/2024 21:13

I don't know you and I'm smiling on your behalf 😄

Yes, karma is a right old bitch. Please stay strong and don't let her manipulate you in any way. Love mumsnet sometimes x

stayathomer · 14/12/2024 21:11

Zone2NorthLondon

but why? What’s it going to do except start something up with her? And it’s nothing about women being nice, it’s just about why bother not being anything but indifferent

StormingNorman · 14/12/2024 21:11

Karma can be a funny fucker.

LadyGaGasPokerFace · 14/12/2024 21:09

What @stayathomer said with a 👍🏼 emoji 😂

BMW6 · 14/12/2024 21:08

Oh I sooo hope you laughed in her face!

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