Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not change Xmas plans after only being asked today?

34 replies

dirtychailatte1 · 14/12/2024 20:31

DF asked today when we were coming to their house for Christmas. I said because they didn't ask I had assumed we were staying home for Christmas and would see them later before New Year. He was annoyed saying of course they expected us to come.

We went there for the past two Christmases but arranged it much earlier. Practically and logistically it would be fine but I spent months not hearing anything and then planned in my head to be home because I assumed we weren't invited. AIBU to think it's too late to expect us to go?

OP posts:
Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 14/12/2024 20:57

If you've gone the last 2 years they maybe just took it for granted you'd go again.

Cherrysoup · 14/12/2024 20:56

Do you not communicate with your parents.

tilypu · 14/12/2024 20:53

I don't think it's too late. In fact my family have only just firmed up our plans today.

But if you are set on your plans, that's ok too.

Pandasnacks · 14/12/2024 20:49

If you've gone for the last 2 years why does it even need specific arranging sooner? What's different this year that needs more forward planning?

Oldnproud · 14/12/2024 20:48

Just a thought, but could they have delayed in asking you this year in hope that you would invite them to yours this time?

DetestTheClockChange · 14/12/2024 20:45

Of course it's not too late. But depends on whether you want to.

Pineapplewaves · 14/12/2024 20:41

Do you want to go or would you rather stay at home and have Christmas with your immediate family?

Decide which you would prefer then let your DF know, if he's not going to be on his own this year then I think it's fine to do what you would like after spending Christmas Day with DF for the previous two years.

Maybe you could visit before or after Christmas or at New Year instead?

DisplayPurposesOnly · 14/12/2024 20:39

I dont think its too late to change, if you wanted to. Isn't it more the point that you actually don't want to?

Doesn't anyone in your family talk to one another? After spending it together for the past two years, wouldn't you have a conversation- "What's the plan for Christmas this year?"

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 14/12/2024 20:37

If you've gone the last 2 years, wouldn't you have just messaged a few weeks ago when you started thinking about Christmas asking what the plans were and did they want you guys to go again?