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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not want to drop my hours when DS starts school?

168 replies

mindyourfingersplease · 14/12/2024 15:48

But I think I’ll have to.

I am currently part time with two days off a week. I’d like to keep this as I have a younger child.

My younger child’s nursery starts at 730. I’d have to drop her then at this time. Then get to DS school for beakfast club to start at 8. This gives me twenty five minutes to get to work myself, through heavy morning traffic. DH can’t help: he leaves for work at 7.

I think typing that out has made me realise I’ll have to drop my hours.

OP posts:
Original poster
mindyourfingersplease · 14/12/2024 18:15

@ItOnlyTakesTwoMinutes i do explain this, it’s because of finances.

OP posts:
ItOnlyTakesTwoMinutes · 14/12/2024 18:11

Why is it you that has to drop your hours. Why can’t DH?

Original poster
mindyourfingersplease · 14/12/2024 18:10

@WhatIDoIsEnough yes, it just means I’m timetabled to start at 925. That’s all, really.

Thanks all. It does help to talk things through.

OP posts:
Imbusytodaysorry · 14/12/2024 18:10

@mindyourfingersplease is your employer approachable ? Chat with them and see what they say then you will have your answer

Jhun · 14/12/2024 18:01

I think it’s fine to decide to reduce your hours and have a more child centred family life if you can manage financially and if you will love spending the extra time with your kids. Especially while they are still so young. But maybe not if these things don’t apply! . Good luck with your decision and whatever you decide don’t feel guilty!

Cakeandusername · 14/12/2024 17:55

Has DH checked their flexible working policy? It’s always DH can’t because he works x hours in these types of posts, yet the DH hasn’t even read the policy let alone actually been bothered to put in a flex working request. He doesn’t need to drop hours just request different hours.

WhatIDoIsEnough · 14/12/2024 17:55

Can the school you work in even get someone to teach in place of you for an hour each morning to change your hours to 9.25am?

I remember the days well of dropping dc to school 8.50am having a 30 min bus journey to work . Bus was 5 minutes from school and 5 from work the other end The bus came 8.54am. I had to run everyday to it. Then pray there was no delay even 2 min.
I was late a lot by a few minutes. I was always in trouble. But what could I do ? I was a lone parent. No help and was learning to drive. But even when I passed the car park was so far from work I only saved 10 min. But then cost me £30 week parking compared to £8 for a week ticket on the bus.

When my the last 2 dcs were born we opted I'd be a sahm. I chose this option for my sanity.

Original poster
mindyourfingersplease · 14/12/2024 17:51

DrCoconut · 14/12/2024 17:47

There actually are no childminders at my DS's school. I used the only one until she went out of business in lockdown. It has been a major headache and I've had to do a lot of juggling to stay in work. So it is possible.

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I think it’s quite easy to be honest, there aren’t really an abundance of childminders.

Unfortunately not @Namechangedagain20 Sad

OP posts:
Namechangedagain20 · 14/12/2024 17:49

Does your younger DCs nursery do school drop offs for school age childre? Most nurseries in my area drop to local schools (some have a minibus if the schools are slightly further out). Then you could drop both at the nursery at 7:30.

DrCoconut · 14/12/2024 17:47

DandySnail · 14/12/2024 15:56

because you’re being silly

you child hasn’t even started at the school yet and you’ve concluded that absolutely no one uses a childminder in the entire school 😆

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There actually are no childminders at my DS's school. I used the only one until she went out of business in lockdown. It has been a major headache and I've had to do a lot of juggling to stay in work. So it is possible.

SpiritAdder · 14/12/2024 17:43

Mickey79 · 14/12/2024 17:32

Change jobs completely? On 18 hours a week you could even just do evenings. No nursery fees at all then.

Edited

Looking for another job is good idea.

TooMuchRedMaybe · 14/12/2024 17:42

SaagAloopa · 14/12/2024 17:17

I think men are teachers too though teaching isn't a "little job" it's a bloody hard slog but can be a career I guess

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This isn’t about teachers in particular, it’s about the multiple posts from women who has to sacrifice their careers and pensions in favour of their husbands because for some reason men can hardly ever have any flexibility or lose a small portion of their salaries. It hinders women progressing.

SpiritAdder · 14/12/2024 17:42

Can you ask the nursery if there are any childminders near the nursery that can take your school age child to school and meet you at the nursery at 7:30 for handoff? Or perhaps another parent you know would be willing to help?

Chonk · 14/12/2024 17:33

Jammydodger1981 · 14/12/2024 16:15

There is no childminder. Not sure why you’re being such an arse to the OP 🤔

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They're a previously banned poster who does this to every OP under various name changes.

Mickey79 · 14/12/2024 17:32

Change jobs completely? On 18 hours a week you could even just do evenings. No nursery fees at all then.

Didimum · 14/12/2024 17:32

OP, I would sit down with your DH and tell him that you don’t want to drop your hours so you need to come up with an action plan together.

Perhaps a student babysitter / mother’s help is available locally who can assist with school and nursery drop offs. It’s a nice bit of money for a young person to earn a few days a week and usually a convenient time for most.

Alternatively is 8 the earliest your breakfast club starts?

Original poster
mindyourfingersplease · 14/12/2024 17:30

RB68 · 14/12/2024 17:29

Any jobs going at your Kids potential school? That would resolve a few issues!

Definitely not - wrong age and stage. Plus I wouldn’t really want to work at a school my child attended anyway.

OP posts:
Original poster
mindyourfingersplease · 14/12/2024 17:29

Eventually I will but with the younger one at home nursery costs would be higher and I wouldn’t have two days a week off with her.

OP posts:
Foostit · 14/12/2024 17:29

FFS! Some of the replies on here! Maybe the OP didn’t want to say she was a teacher due to the way teachers are treated on MN! She said she can’t be late, no further explanation is needed. Also why is it so hard to believe that it’s difficult to find childcare? I was a teacher and when my DC were small, I only managed to find childcare at the last minute and this was a combination of after school club and a childminder but none could offer 5 days. For a month they were attending both plus one day a week with a friend. It was very stressful and it’s not as if teaching is a flexible job.

RB68 · 14/12/2024 17:29

Any jobs going at your Kids potential school? That would resolve a few issues!

JoyeuxNarwhal · 14/12/2024 17:29

I switched from 3 8:30-5 days a week to 5 9:30-2:30 days when dc started school. That was an office based role though, unless you had cover for all/part of your first/last period may not work for you.

brunettemic · 14/12/2024 17:29

Why don’t you spread your hours over 5 days rather than 2 days off?
That way you get a later start.

Original poster
mindyourfingersplease · 14/12/2024 17:28

SaagAloopa · 14/12/2024 17:17

I think men are teachers too though teaching isn't a "little job" it's a bloody hard slog but can be a career I guess

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If we lived somewhere different it wouldn’t be a particularly big deal, to be fair. I probably am in a unique and in some ways unlucky position as the wraparound isn’t great and I don’t have a partner who can share the pick ups and drop offs (I am married but DH just can’t do it, not without a financial hit which I’d obviously rather avoid.)

At the same time ideally I wouldn’t go below three days. It’s about finding a compromise and I guess on balance two and a half days for the next two years is the best compromise.

OP posts:
TheignT · 14/12/2024 17:27

TooMuchRedMaybe · 14/12/2024 17:16

It would be an easier juggling act if the children’s fathers were doing half of the juggling but they are always excused because of their big jobs and pay checks. An imbalance that will never be fixed whilst women humour them and agree to work less and less whilst the fathers work more and more. I was one of those women too who had to work around my husbands and children’s schedule, man do I regret that now that we’re divorced. Wish I had prioritised my career too.

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Maybe the OP likes working 3 days a week instead of 5 so she has more time with her children? Maybe she likes being the one doing drop off at school. Personally I don't regret the years I did part time, it is a shame you regret your decision but that doesn't mean it is wrong for everyone.

DandySnail · 14/12/2024 17:25

to be fair… another thing op didn’t mention until later on… how rural she lived!

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