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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

sitting in costa coffee

728 replies

IveGotToGoToMeDads · 14/12/2024 15:26

Went to costa coffee ordered drinks, sandwiches & cake. Myself & partner said we will eat in rather than take away. Place was full most seats were taken apart from a four seater table where some woman was sat. I asked if the seats on her table were taken and she said we can not sit on her table as she is with her DS.
In the end a chinese couple offered their seats and we eventually got a seat.
AIBU expecting a seat on womans table for me and my partner as no one was sat in them?

OP posts:
wombat15 · 14/12/2024 17:00

mydogisthebest · 14/12/2024 16:54

No one should be sitting until the have food/drink if the place is busy. If everyone does that then any people on their own don't stand a chance of a table do they?

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I don't go into busy cafes if I'm on my own. In the real world not many people in cafes are on their own. Most people go to cafes with friends or family.

EmmerdaleFan78 · 14/12/2024 17:00

Nolegusta · 14/12/2024 16:41

Meanwhile you sound absolutely charming. 🫣😵‍💫

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It may come across as nasty but most people really aren’t interested in other people’s conversations. That’s the point of ‘you’re not that interesting’. Everyone is interesting to their loved one and that’s why you meet up with them. However, to a stranger, you’re kinda boring. Even if I’m sat 3 feet from someone, I’m not eavesdropping because I’m far more interested in what the person I’m with has to say 🤷‍♀️

hamsandyams · 14/12/2024 17:00

YellowRollercoaster · 14/12/2024 15:35

I don't understand why you queued up and bought something without getting a table (of your own) first?

Oh god, please don't start this debate. It's most controversial MN topic!

XenoBitch · 14/12/2024 16:59

mydogisthebest · 14/12/2024 16:55

Well a lot of cafes have notices saying do not sit at a table until you have your food and drink. So, no, it's not perfectly normal but it is bloody rude and selfish

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I have never seen such a sign in a cafe.
One local to me has reserved signs that you can put on a table. Handy if you are alone.

There is a family that frequent my local Costa. The mum is in a wheelchair, and the daughter uses a walker thing. They grab a table, and the dad gets the drinks. Are they rude and selfish for hogging a table for the few minutes it takes for the dad to bring their items over? Or would you rather they all clog up the very narrow queuing area?

whatdoidonowffs · 14/12/2024 16:57

EmmerdaleFan78 · 14/12/2024 16:39

Don’t worry, you’re not that interesting.

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😂😂😂

poetryandwine · 14/12/2024 16:55

MarkingBad · 14/12/2024 16:15

I wonder if this is one of those depends on where in the UK you are from kind of things?

You may be right.

Not just where in the UK, either.

It is somewhat interesting that OP thinks the couple who let her and her partner sit with them may have bern Chinese. In China it is normal to share tables in a coffee shop or other casual dining environment. This is true in some countries on the Continent as well.

I am happy to do it. However I did object once. I was alone in a coffee shop in a major rail station at the last table, for four. A woman with an overly plummy voice, overly blonde hair and overly branded clothing asked if her group of four, all of the same type, could share. I said ‘of course’ and went back to my lunch and my reading. She just stood there expectantly. I looked up, she looked down. It turned out she was waiting for me to leave. (No smaller table was available).

mydogisthebest · 14/12/2024 16:55

XenoBitch · 14/12/2024 16:53

On MN, yes. It is a MN sin to have one person sat at a table, and the other get the drinks. in real life, it is perfectly normal.

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Well a lot of cafes have notices saying do not sit at a table until you have your food and drink. So, no, it's not perfectly normal but it is bloody rude and selfish

SilverChampagne · 14/12/2024 16:55

LoveHearts69 · 14/12/2024 16:13

I have a toddler and he would hate a random stranger sitting next to him.

What nonsense. How on earth do you cope when you’re out in public?
Surely you take him places where other people congregate, you don’t keep him in a bubble?

mydogisthebest · 14/12/2024 16:54

wombat15 · 14/12/2024 16:52

So both people have to stand in the queue and no one's allowed to sit?

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No one should be sitting until the have food/drink if the place is busy. If everyone does that then any people on their own don't stand a chance of a table do they?

CatVapour · 14/12/2024 16:54

EmmerdaleFan78 · 14/12/2024 16:36

Amen 🙏

I get so bored of people getting hung up on things like this. Surely it’s not much different to saying ‘the woman with the red hair’ 😂

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I’m not personally offended but the difference is with the assumption they were Chinese. Unless the OP knew for a fact they were Chinese (doubtful), then it’s racist. The amount of times I have been called any number of wrong nationalities by people assuming I’m one thing or another is uncountable. However I’m not overly offended because I can’t personally tell a Polish person from a Lithuanian person from a Romanian person, but then again I wouldn’t go out of my way to specifically categorise someone as Lithuanian unless I knew for a fact they were.

wigsonthegreenandhatsforthelifting · 14/12/2024 16:53

Who knew Costa was this controversial??? 😂

Crazybaby123 · 14/12/2024 16:53

I dont like sharing a table but I dont mind it at say an airport, she might have had some private matters to discuss. But that being said, I wouldnt refuse if someone asked and the seats were spare.

Oddsquadnumber1 · 14/12/2024 16:53

mydogisthebest · 14/12/2024 16:51

Well I could do that but I think it is very rude to do so. Tables in cafes should not be saved.

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Why though?

XenoBitch · 14/12/2024 16:53

wombat15 · 14/12/2024 16:52

So both people have to stand in the queue and no one's allowed to sit?

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On MN, yes. It is a MN sin to have one person sat at a table, and the other get the drinks. in real life, it is perfectly normal.

mydogisthebest · 14/12/2024 16:53

FuckILookLike · 14/12/2024 16:49

One person queues up and the other gets a table. Why would you get food to eat in when you have no place to sit?

I wouldn’t want people at a small intimate table that I’m sitting at either tbh

NO, one person does not queue up while the other gets a table. So so rude. What about any people on their own already in the queue?

Oddsquadnumber1 · 14/12/2024 16:52

mydogisthebest · 14/12/2024 16:49

So they also would be the selfish ones who "reserve" a table before they even have any food or drink.

No one should be sitting at a table waiting for a person in the queue

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It's not selfish it's bloody common sense! Why would you buy food with no where to sit!

wombat15 · 14/12/2024 16:52

mydogisthebest · 14/12/2024 16:49

So they also would be the selfish ones who "reserve" a table before they even have any food or drink.

No one should be sitting at a table waiting for a person in the queue

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So both people have to stand in the queue and no one's allowed to sit?

mydogisthebest · 14/12/2024 16:51

Oddsquadnumber1 · 14/12/2024 16:48

Put a coat or something on a table to save it, not rocket science. Or go to quieter places if you're unable to manage that.

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Well I could do that but I think it is very rude to do so. Tables in cafes should not be saved.

wombat15 · 14/12/2024 16:50

mydogisthebest · 14/12/2024 16:47

Oh I know it does so maybe all the oracles on here could tell me what I should do.

I ask to share a table and have never been refused. Obviously the people in my local coffee shops are not as rude as most of the posters here

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I don't go in busy cafes if I'm on my own.

biscuitsandbooks · 14/12/2024 16:50

mydogisthebest · 14/12/2024 16:47

Oh I know it does so maybe all the oracles on here could tell me what I should do.

I ask to share a table and have never been refused. Obviously the people in my local coffee shops are not as rude as most of the posters here

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Well, personally I wouldn't order food to eat in if I didn't have a guaranteed table - if I was alone and couldn't reserve a seat I'd order takeaway or go somewhere with table service instead.

FuckILookLike · 14/12/2024 16:49

One person queues up and the other gets a table. Why would you get food to eat in when you have no place to sit?

I wouldn’t want people at a small intimate table that I’m sitting at either tbh

mydogisthebest · 14/12/2024 16:49

Oddsquadnumber1 · 14/12/2024 16:45

OP was with her partner, is one of them incapable of sitting alone for a few mins?

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So they also would be the selfish ones who "reserve" a table before they even have any food or drink.

No one should be sitting at a table waiting for a person in the queue

wigsonthegreenandhatsforthelifting · 14/12/2024 16:49

LoveHearts69 · 14/12/2024 16:13

I have a toddler and he would hate a random stranger sitting next to him.

PFB if I ever saw it!! Ruled by a toddler... Maybe you should socialise him more?

Not near me though - I'm allergic to toddlers!

SilverChampagne · 14/12/2024 16:49

CatsndtheBear · 14/12/2024 15:34

I would not enjoy my time with complete strangers sat at my table... You were the unreasonable one here.

She arrived first, the 4 seater may have been the only table left. Hence she was entitled to it.

She wasn’t entitled to prevent anyone else sitting in the unused seats.

Oddsquadnumber1 · 14/12/2024 16:48

mydogisthebest · 14/12/2024 16:47

Oh I know it does so maybe all the oracles on here could tell me what I should do.

I ask to share a table and have never been refused. Obviously the people in my local coffee shops are not as rude as most of the posters here

Show quote history

Put a coat or something on a table to save it, not rocket science. Or go to quieter places if you're unable to manage that.