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AIBU?

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Original poster

Not getting Son In Laws presents anymore...

183 replies

Zebedee999 · 14/12/2024 12:09

I buy my son in laws thoughtful and expensive (£100-£400) long lasting useful gifts on special occasions as I want them to have useful things for life.
The trouble is neither of these men are what could be described as clean, careful, tidy etc so everything I get them ends up lost, broken or damaged in some other way.
As I am a bit OCD'ish and care for my own stuff this stresses me then I end up nagging them as to "who could have taken Gift XYZ from their house and never returned it?" etc.
I have decided, for my sanity, and to stop me nagging them, I simply won't buy them anything physoical anymore. I'll pay for a meal out etc but no more gifts for everyone's sake.
I appreciate as men once they receive a gift what they do with it is up to them but I find it hurtful when yet another gift is lost/damaged etc.

AIBU?

OP posts:
PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 14/12/2024 12:15

For example ironing board + iron + heated clothes rail.

that is not a great Christmas present for anyone…

TeachesOfPeaches · 14/12/2024 12:15

Just get them a 3 for 2 Lynx gift set from Boots

InformerYaNoSayDaddyMeSnowMeIGoBlameALickyBoom · 14/12/2024 12:14

"A bit OCDish"?

Ocd is a debilitating condition, not being careful with your own stuff.

Yabu for that sentence alone.

WhyDoesDenisNotRhymeWithPenis · 14/12/2024 12:14

Wouldn't give this one moment of thought. There was no need to spend so much to begin with, just stick a tenner in a money card or whatever.

MounjaroOnMyMind · 14/12/2024 12:14

I'd buy them something like a case of wine, unless they have a problem with alcohol. They don't appreciate what you get them, so don't buy them a physical gift.

Original poster
Zebedee999 · 14/12/2024 12:13

parrotonmyshoulder · 14/12/2024 12:10

You never needed to buy them such excessive gifts in the first place, did you?

No. But as they were starting out in life as couples I thought such gifts would help set them up. For example ironing board + iron + heated clothes rail. Tool kit and so on.
I could have bought them a box of chocolates but I thought useful long term would be better. Is that wrong ?

OP posts:
DemonicCaveMaggot · 14/12/2024 12:12

I think buying an experience like a meal or a day out somewhere is a perfectly fine gift.

If they do want something you could give them money towards it and then you may not feel the 'ownership' of the object when they mal treat it compared to when you buy it for them out right.

parrotonmyshoulder · 14/12/2024 12:10

You never needed to buy them such excessive gifts in the first place, did you?