Not getting Son In Laws presents anymore...

Have you considered that they didn't lose or break these things but returned or sold them for something they actually wanted? Then when you unexpectedly ask they claim it was lost

I also think the presents you gave are odd even if they were expensive but why are you nagging your sons-in-law and checking up on where the stuff is?

My first thought was they sold the stuff. Or chucked it all in the garage if they were not going to use it.

What do your daughters think and say about it all?

If they don't like it, they aren't going to take care of it. What you think of as a 'thoughtful and well considered' present, they might well think of as potential charity shop donation. Which might well be where they ended up but nobody wants to tell you - so they pretend it was broken or lost.

Maybe he sold it for drug money?

Blimey OP, how much did they spend on you? 🤔
And I don't mean a joint gift from your Daughters with their names tagged on.

Definitely go for the meal in future. At the moment they are not so much getting a present but the burden of a random object to look after

@Zebedee999 I can see what you were trying to do with the housewarming gift, but you've found out it was misguided. Setting someone up in the way you think they should be set up, isn't the best way and yes, probably asking what they would like, or money, would have been better and would save you the angst of your gifts not being appreciated.

I think the amounts you quote as spending are quite high and for Christmas and birthdays would tone it down and give personal gifts that hit the spot. In our family we make gift lifts that show the kind of things we'd enjoy and people either choose directly off the list or go for similar and I usually have a word with partners to see if anything specific's been mentioned.

Iron, ironing board and heated clothes rail - would have cost a small fortune if higher end products, but speaking for myself I’d hate this as a Christmas present.

I asked DH for a Black and Decker workmate one Christmas. I needed it to lay the bathroom floor. I also got a bandsaw from my DS one year. 💪

Why are you blaming your son-in-laws rather than your daughters for losing these 'thoughtful' gifts?

What did you give them that they lost? How did you know? I can't figure this thread out at all

Thoughtful meaning what they, themselves, would want, not particularly what the receiver would.

Buying someone a gift that comes with expectation is not ideal. Questioning someone about the whereabouts of a gift is rude.

Probably best for everyone involved if you stick to a meal/ day out / voucher.

This thread is confusing? You did say you had bought an iron(plus other stuff) as an example of something that had been lost/broken. Also in that scenario your daughter could also have lost/broken it surely as they must both use it? In future, perhaps a book and some chocolates or a voucher would be better. I would feel guilty if my in laws spent so much on my present, especially if it was one I didn’t want/need. Our in laws have before bought us “household things” but it was something we had asked for- a window vac.

But you still check with them first. Last year we gave DS2 & DDIL money towards their living room blinds. This year DDIL wants surprises and DS2 wants an expensive pizza oven so he’s having that but we’ve all chipped in.

How do you even know that they have misused the gifts you have purchased for them?

Just to add.
I think the idea behind your gifts was very generous and thoughtful... but they are things I would give to them as a housewarming pres.. not Christmas or Birthdays.
Its a lot of money and they don't appreciate them.... so it would be smaller consumable Xmas presents in future if it was me.

Wasn't there a post years and years ago about someone who lost her ironing board in a studio flat? I wonder if it ever materialised?

I don’t think you have the right to nag (your words) them about the location of their household items or other things you bought them.

You have decided that your gifts need to be worthwhile long lasting items but the items you’ve mentioned, I prefer to choose myself. People often just like much cheaper treat type stuff for gifts. Doesn’t have to be money (as I suspect you’d want to know exactly what they spent it on) but frivolous stuff like aftershave, alcohol, fancy chocolate, restaurant voucher etc.

I’d sooner buy something they used and eventually broke rather than something not used or just to look at

Perhaps they went surfing and didn't have a surfboard.

I'm bemused as to why you a) gave these things to your SIL(s?) rather than your dd(s?) as well and b) why you're blaming the SIL for things going missing and c) why your checking said ironing board and tool kit?

That was the first Xmas present I got from MIL, along with a pair of grandma slippers - which I gave to my mum. It perfectly conveyed her idea of my role in the family. 😂

OK I see that the iron was a present for both of them when they moved into together, so a bit more understandable. I'm still intrigued by what he has done with the iron though

Just buy a nice bottle of whisky

How did they 'lose' any of those wonderful gifts or, better still, break them? Probably threw them out of the door to break them! If a MIL bought her DIL those items for Christmas the site would explode with indignation.