Not getting Son In Laws presents anymore...

I would also lie and tell you the ironing board broke/airer got lost. Weird presents, get a life and stop assuming things about theirs!

OP I can understand being disappointed if your gifts don’t seem to be valued. It does sound like you were expecting them to change a bit when they set up home and become maybe a bit more domestically focused, so your gifts were focused on giving them the tools for that, whereas they sound like they aren’t really interested in that sort of lifestyle.

Helping children set up a new home with domestic focused gifts was a very normal thing for parents to do when I was setting up on my own, I’m surprised so many PPs seem to think it’s odds. An ironing board, pans, crockery, etc. I had no idea of all the expense involved until I moved out! I can see why you might have assumed such gifts would be appreciated. But you’ve seen that they aren’t as wanted as you expected, so starting to give them things they will appreciate more makes a lot of sense for them and for you.

I’m not really clear why it’s your son-in-law not your DC that the not giving presents is aimed at, though. Wouldn’t you give gifts like that to both of them? Is it only what you give your son-in-law that gets trashed?

Agreed. If my MIL bought me such thoughtless gifts and then nagged me how I am taking care of them, I would say the same or sell them off.

I think SILs were passive aggressive about these t'houghtful' gifts, indirectly telling OP to stop giving them these household equipments.

It was sold, because most people who iron (I'm not one of them) already own an iron and board. And £100 to £400 is a lot of money you might need more than an iron and board.

Clealy op is anything but thoughtful. I also have mild OCD and it's mentally exhausting.

Have you tried ERP or ACT therapies?

Depends on practical gift -
Dyson hair dryer or nice headphones - yes
A ironing board or a cleaning equipment unless specifically asked for by receiver - no

Ironing board is not just for son in law, it's for everyone to use. There is no thought in this so called thoughtful gift.

Erm, you said it op

I thought such gifts would help set them up. For example ironing board + iron + heated clothes rail.

I once bought a 'useful' gift for my B/Si in law. They were young, new parents and were lamenting getting the not inconsiderable amount of washing dry. The 'gift' was something I was sure they had never seen and that it would benefit them. It was a cover for a whirly line, like an umbrella. It would enable washing to dry even in rain. Next time I saw it, it was used as a tarpaulin on the ground. Ah well!

What an unkind post

Best to consult with them prior to buying such major and generous gifts

I could understand to some extent if you buy something more personal e.g. something decorative and it gets kicked around and ruined. You'd like to see it valued and appreciated, you hope it's enhanced their home and they really like it. However, any gift once given is out of your hands and personal taste is hard to judge. Don't give stuff they don't need or want.
A voucher for a meal or an experience gives them some choice. A box of wine or quality spirits (bet they won't break those!) is another idea so longs as they both drink. Or a voucher for a department store or Argos. Either way you may be overly generous - you could get them a simple food hamper plus an Oxfam goat.

I would think my parents had lost the plot if they'd got DH an iron and ironing board as a gift 🤣🤣

The issue is you thought about what YOU valued not what they want. Most people would not be thrilled with a gift of a posh ironing board and iron? Its a utility household item not a treat for them. Gift giving is about thinking about the receiver and what they would enjoy not just buying what you think they ought to have.
Most people there days hardly iron anyway it's a total waste of time as many items don't need ironing.

I literally thought the same thing😅

"As I am a bit OCD'ish"

Do you have OCD, a diagnosable mental health condition, characterised by intrusive thoughts and compulsive, uncontrollable repetitive behaviours, or are you just particular about looking after your belongings?

Please don't trivialise a serious mental health condition.

Well apart from the tool kit the rest are pretty shit gifts they are house gifts no men would appreciate them .God they probably quite happy with a meal out you sound a horrendous mil

I thought that was @Zebedee999 being pedantic, like the unasked for household appliances were not given at Christmas time, but for housewarming for example. Petty.

I buy my son in laws thoughtful…gifts

Is your definition of thoughtful, something you think he would like as a present (I’d say that was thoughtful) or something you think they need?

While it's not the business of the giver what happens to the gift once handed over, knowing that the recipient is so careless, disrespectful and ungrateful makes the giver feel shit, so for that reason I'd dial the giving all the way back.

Having said that, an iron and ironing board is batshit.

If you still want to give, hand over cash and step away.

He probably sold it, I would have!

If the iron etc was expensive and not wanted then obviously they sold it and fair enough. They'd have used the cash to buy something they wanted. It's pretty obtuse to nag them about where it's gone. You gave something they didn't want and are being tactful saying it's lost. To not pick up on that seems a bit thick skinned.

But I'm glad you've heeded the advice here and will switch up the gifting strategy now.

You literally gave that as an example!

My husband every Christmas buys the boys a gift that they're always borrowing from him. So they've had hedge trimmers, strimmers, drills, sanders, pressure washers etc. they are looked after and appreciated. I understand the frustration of @Zebedee999

OP what did you buy for your daughters