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Original poster

MIL and Christmas present for DH

57 replies

DangerFrog · 14/12/2024 09:25

I have a dilemma and I'd appreciate opinions.

PIL buy DH a bundle of gifts every year. Some are useful or practical (e.g. shower gel, jumper), some sweets etc. Nothing controversial or offensive. One gift every year is a book; the latest in a series that they have given him every year since childhood, so a traditional gift for them.

The problem being, DH doesn't read the book. Hasn't for years. It will sit around the house as he always intends to read it "this year", but it will be ignored until I put it on the shelf with the others. Book space in our house is limited (because we both buy books that we like and actually read) but he won't get rid of this series because he's sentimental. He's in his 40's now so there are a lot of them.

So my dilemma. MIL has messaged me to say that this year, they've forgotten to buy the book. Can I buy it and she'll repay me? Ignoring the fact that they could buy it online and get it sent to him (or me), would I be unreasonable to just not bother?

OP posts:
Pastit12 · 14/12/2024 10:12

It obviously means a lot to her and has become a tradition so I would help her out and buy it she’s offered to reimburse you so it’s not much too ask. Maybe she’s not confident buying on line.

Your husband obviously likes receiving the books even of it is only for sentimental reasons and if storage is getting a bit of a problem ask him to have a sort out of where the books are going.

Createausername1970 · 14/12/2024 09:44

On the one hand, it's something they have always done, and it's a tradition so the sentimental part of me is saying suck it up and get the book.

However, the bit if me that doesn't like clutter is saying maybe this is the point to bring It to an end. Could you say something like "DH and I had a chat about this last night. He wants to keep all the books he currently has, but we are running out of room for many more. So what do you think, do you want to leave it or do you want me to get one this year as the last one, and you can write a special message in it"

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 14/12/2024 09:37

No, if she wants to get it she can buy it.

But what is it? I’m curious.

Nolegusta · 14/12/2024 09:33

Sorry, we're really running out of book space. DH appreciates all the gifts you give him and I'm sure he won't mind not getting the book. I'm not even sure if I'll be able to get it either.

thesunisastar · 14/12/2024 09:32

Is it the Guinness Book of Records? The only thing I can think of that comes out every year?

It sounds like a comforting and fairly harmless tradition and I think in your situation I'd indulge it and just buy the book. I know that the primary point of books is to read them (obviously!) but book ownership fulfils other needs too, and it sounds like this is the case here. Just because he doesn't read them doesn't mean he doesn't value them, nuts as that sounds.

Then try and find somewhere to create a new bookcase for them in the New Year.

Ineedpeaceandquiet · 14/12/2024 09:31

Although the clutter may be annoying, that's a sweet tradition.

I would just buy the book, you never know they may end up being collectors items one day!

shellyleppard · 14/12/2024 09:26

Tell them its out of stock/sold out?? Put the collection in the attic if its taking up valuable shelf space 😉