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Original poster

Bloody Christmas Crackers

259 replies

GlamorousHeifer · 14/12/2024 07:21

I am driving myself mad (admittedly a short drive!) over Christmas crackers of all things!
I must have been looking online researching my options for about 8+ hours (in total, not 8 straight hours, I'm not that crazy!) but none of them are quite right.
Must be:
*Plastic free
*Beautiful
*8 pack
*Pre made, not make yourself
*Decent gift (no toe nail clippers or tiny screwdrivers!) Ideally a keepsake.
*Suitable for teen boys and girls
*Not more than £25.
Aibu to believe the crackers of my dreams exist despite an extensive search coming up with nothing?
For those that need to hear it, this is lighthearted, yes I do have plenty of other things to worry about, yes I know the COL has gone up and some people won't be able to celebrate at all etc etc.

OP posts:
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16
Faz469 · 14/12/2024 11:02

Kuckoo Crackers - 6 x 13-inch Build & Play Metal Construction Christmas Crackers amzn.eu/d/gswG4Es

Ilovemyshed · 14/12/2024 10:59

Crikey, if its that important make your own, or do small table gifts. Personally I think they are a waste of money.

Lowkey28 · 14/12/2024 10:52

Have you looked at Hotel Chocolat ones?

Tbry24 · 14/12/2024 10:44

RSPB always do good ones, we’ve had ones before with wooden ornaments for the tree.

Original poster
GlamorousHeifer · 14/12/2024 10:38

Ohwhatfuckeryitistoride · 14/12/2024 10:35

I was going to do fill your own, but they seem to be as, or more, expensive than cheap ones. I’m thinking of getting cheap ones, untying an end, putting a gift in(well a scratch card-all adults)and retying them. And 25 quid is mad for crackers.

Well hopefully I've helped the birds in some small way 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
Rosti1981 · 14/12/2024 10:37

MeanMrMustardSeed · 14/12/2024 09:19

I hadn’t checked these threads for a week, as I had finished my shopping. Proudly announced to DH that I had had my last twitch (harmonica for DC14 after a request at dinner). Am now enjoying my lie in and thought I’d have a quick browse of MN, saw this post and £85 later…
In my defence, I hadn’t bought any tree decorations this year, and usually like to add a couple, so got the gorgeous pewter doves for £5 down from £12. I also got calendars for 3 of the DC at £5 each. And bought 40m of wrapping paper. I was disappointed in all the paper this year in the shops, ended getting ok stuff from Waitrose in the half price sale, so will feel smug in November knowing I’ve got green forest and red bird paper at the ready. Oh, and the gorgeous bird bin badge crackers!! All on offer. I also feel like I’ve helped the birds a bit! Thank you for posting.

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Haha me too, only £54 here...

Ohwhatfuckeryitistoride · 14/12/2024 10:35

I was going to do fill your own, but they seem to be as, or more, expensive than cheap ones. I’m thinking of getting cheap ones, untying an end, putting a gift in(well a scratch card-all adults)and retying them. And 25 quid is mad for crackers.

SaagAloopa · 14/12/2024 10:33

No one wants a keepsake from a cracker

ThisBrickKoala · 14/12/2024 10:31

i’d have given up after 8 minutes let alone 8 hours!

Talipesmum · 14/12/2024 10:17

GlamorousHeifer · 14/12/2024 10:02

I've done it! I have ordered two boxes of these.
No keepsake but chocolate is just as good and won't get thrown away straight after lunch.
I feel like I am finally free of my cracker obsession and can move on with my life.
Thanks Everyone, hope you all have a lovely Christmas.

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Well done!! Brilliant solution. Totally sympathise with the obsessive researching!

Nomorepants · 14/12/2024 10:15

GlamorousHeifer · 14/12/2024 08:34

What is actually inside the cracker please, there doesn't seem to be a picture unless I'm missing something?

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see here. www.lovechristmas.christmas/products/robin-reed-6-traditional-nutcracker-christmas-crackers

Annabella92 · 14/12/2024 10:12

Pinkballoon5 · 14/12/2024 09:49

The fortune telling fish is the best!

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Wholesalers for those. They are actually quite fun.

BitOutOfPractice · 14/12/2024 10:11

@GlamorousHeifer I’m the lunatic - I’m making mine this afternoon

Annabella92 · 14/12/2024 10:11

GlamorousHeifer · 14/12/2024 08:37

I care because if I just buy some from Aldi they will all end up straight in the bin including the tat inside them.
It's just wasting money buying the cheap ones in my opinion, if I get something nice with a decent gift people will be more inclined to keep it.

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Don't we all have enough stuff though? I don't want anymore stuff I feel obliged to keep, I'm drowning in it. I think focus on little experiences, a joke and a charade, there must be clever people who have thought up fun quick games.i loved the idea of table fireworks pp said!

Original poster
GlamorousHeifer · 14/12/2024 10:02

Spaceid · 14/12/2024 09:35

https://shopping.rspb.org.uk/christmas-shop/christmas-crackers/christmas-chorus-recycled-crackers-chocolate-box-of-six.html

Chocolate!

I've done it! I have ordered two boxes of these.
No keepsake but chocolate is just as good and won't get thrown away straight after lunch.
I feel like I am finally free of my cracker obsession and can move on with my life.
Thanks Everyone, hope you all have a lovely Christmas.

OP posts:
comeondover · 14/12/2024 10:01

OP, do you have any ideas about the cracker gifts you'd like? A decent compromise would be to buy some that meet the rest of your criteria and then add in some gifts of your own choosing.

Nothatgingerpirate · 14/12/2024 09:59

That's a difficult one, OP.
You will have to compromise on the £25, me thinks.
🍀

Useyourfork · 14/12/2024 09:57

Tk max

Kitkatcatflap · 14/12/2024 09:52

usernother · 14/12/2024 08:33

No one cares about the crackers. Especially not teenagers. Honestly. No one is going to keep anything they get out of a cracker. Just buy some from Aldi.

But that's you and you don't speak for everyone else. Christmas crackers are an integral part of the Christmas table for me, especially now I have moved abroad.

Pinkballoon5 · 14/12/2024 09:49

Wildywondrous · 14/12/2024 09:33

I've been having the opposite problem and just want some cheap throwaway ones that don't have a game in, I dont want to be playing games while I eat my christmas dinner.
The kids are only interested in the hat and the joke.
I want the old style ones with a frog that you can flip across the table and a fortune telling fish.

The fortune telling fish is the best!

TeamMandrake · 14/12/2024 09:47

I see someone suggested Kukoo crackers - they have lots of lovely options. The spinning bugs are plastic, but we have kept them for 3 years, and they are now an essential part of my xmas dinner table setting. Much better than pull-back racing snowmen.

They will go back into my make your-own crackers again this year, along with a little pot of paint and a warhammer figure each. I do think if you want an exact thing, you have to make your own.

DrZaraCarmichael · 14/12/2024 09:44

ElfAndSafetyBored · 14/12/2024 07:32

How about bamboo Christmas sock crackers?

www.sockshop.co.uk/products/mens-and-ladies-6-pair-sockshop-christmas-cracker-gift-boxed-bamboo-socks/?colour=Multi&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAAD_G6wFJnScU2LswKl3oyKYLhpWrE&gclid=Cj0KCQiA0--6BhCBARIsADYqyL__3j9gU-yL9UB_vpgovLssMbUBTtG5ITPdI5KopMJE5gwoKnObRIIaAhx6EALw_wcB

These are fab - have just ordered a pack and we'll open them on Christmas Eve so that everyone can wear their festive socks the following day.

saveforthat · 14/12/2024 09:39

Robotnik · 14/12/2024 07:25

I'm not sure I can help because I think toenail clippers and tiny screwdrivers are top-tier cracker presents. What sort of gifts are you thinking of?

I just came on here to say this. If it wasn't for Christmas crackers I wouldn't be able to tighten my glasses.

Larryimonducktales · 14/12/2024 09:36

I love tiny screwdrivers! Sorry just had to say that.

The ones with bells sound interesting if you can be confident it won't be a cacophony.