Husband hasn't come home

It’s better than nothing but I’d still be seriously pissed off if my husband did this.

You're so right, actually ☹️.

They are HIS children too. Why does he get to just offload his responsibility for a night out? Jesus Christ the more I’m on this site the more I despair at the number of idiotic men-children. I have one too that isn’t like this but just has a fragile ego that can’t cope with any kind of criticism without having a temper tantrum and sulking on the floor. It’s fucking depressing.

These men are not responsible though because they know their female partner will pick up the slack so they do wtf they like 🙄

Absolutely scunners me!

Would you do it when you know you have responsibilities for your child/children? I hope not.

I'm amazed these men are responsible for raising children, when they completely lack discipline and self-control ☹️.

He knows you have work, and he's just so carefree about jeopardising your income. Such disregard for himself and his family.

@dothehokeycokey

I totally agree with you.

I went out this week and didn't come home but I texted DH to tell him I was sharing friend's hotel room and told him which hotel it was. I also let him know when I'd got to the hotel safely at 3am and that phone would be on silent so as not to disturb my room mate. I was really drunk but would have to be totally unconscious for it not to pop into my head that I need to update DH. I'd be really fucked off if DH didn't let me know either. It isn't acceptable to me not to communicate this stuff.

However, that's just the staying out part. The not being back to be available and in a fit state to be available for the children is 100% unacceptable.

Absolutely this.

It's not the going out. It's not even the lack of contact.
It's the total and utter disregard for the family unit, and specifically for OP: his actions have created a situation where even if he is home in time for her to go to work, he's not likely to be capable of looking after his own children.

and how old are the children?

If they are under 14 I wouldn't be leaving with them with someone who is potentially still drunk.

Oh no I’d be absolutely losing my shit.

Going back to the office to continue drinking and then sleeping there is absolutely grim behaviour anyway. Ick.

Every year we get loads of posts of the same nature and it just blows my mind that some men seem to just surrender all responsibility the minute they've had a few.

Not all men as I said above but it's so common.

There's a thread here today where a poster has been sat in McDonald's all night as her partner went out and hasn't come home and she can't get in the house because He lost his keys so took hers.

The bar needs to be raised ladies it really does

My dh did this twice.

On the second time he was told if it ever happened again we would be divorcing and he would be moving out because it wasn't something I would tolerate.
Never happened again,because he understood I was serious and now looks back and says he can't believe he behaved like it.

If these partners and husbands DONT see the issue then they have no respect for you as an equal and are showing you how they view the relationship

What time are you due start work op? Will he be back in time?

It's fine he went out.

Not fine that he's not back in time for your shift.

Well at least you know where his priorities lie. Selfish twat.
If I were you op I’d seriously be evaluating my options.

That’s grim.

He rather have a drink than look after his children so you can go to work?

WTF?

Choices were made last night and your children weren’t one of them.

Very unclear. Will he back for you to go to work or not?

Sorry this is happening to you x

My husband did this to me, just after I had given birth to my first daughter and had a hemorrhage at christmas. It's always very hard at around this time of year remembering how much he didn't and still doesn't care about me.

I really hope you can sort it out and you don't miss out on any money. Best wishes x

I myself have been guilty of getting very drunk, unintentionally, so in a way, I can't criticise. However, it does seem sad that some people can't go out without getting into this state. The fact your DH doesn't go out much, night mean that when he does he does completely mad! He will, no doubt, be extremeky remorseful, but he's left you in a terrible situation with the children.

Have you heard from him yet, OP?

That’s really bad. It’s not like the over controlling one last week who wanted her Dh to message her every 3 hours and was put out that he “rolled in” at 11pm.

YANBU, I would be furious

I don’t think it’s the Christmas parties that are the issue, it’s people’s complete lack of self control! The vast majority of staff attending their parties don’t behave like this!

So he’s only done this once before and it was at Christmas? I guess he’s either trying to keep face with his colleagues or if he has done it at other times, then he knows he will get away with treating you so disrespectfully. I hope your day isn’t too difficult. Respect yourself, don’t let him get away with this. Trustworthy people don’t treat their partners and children like this. I’m sorry to say, I guess is if you dig a little you may find he is not the person he pretends to be. Good luck x