Wwyd - unknown teen wearabouts

Hang on, she's 17! Could be at uni next year?? I'd understand the worry at 14 but not at 17....

I don’t track my teens as i’d have absolutely hated to be tracked and I know my mum would have loved to have tracked my every move. Her and her friend will be asleep, i’m sure you’ll hear from her soon. Just go on the santa trip and wait to hear from her. I mean there’s not much else you can do, probably better to be blissfully unaware thinking she is at her friends and then she comes home later. That’s what my mum thought when I said i was staying at a friend’s but wasn’t. She has no doubt just gone to someone else’s house for an after party and crashed. Like teens do.

Can you ping her phone?

When my teens aren’t answering texts and I’m worried I ping them-this means their phones make a sound even if it’s on silent. They know this means to read their messages and respond to me. That way I know they’re okay.

Eh?
I think a lot of us definitely have some idea where our teens are a lot of the time.
Not saying that to make OP feel bad as she clearly does care!

I'm not at this point yet as DD is younger but I always ask her to text me good night and that she is safe. She forgets at times but mostly ok. I do not envy you. But in all likelihood, she has gone to another friends and is fast asleep blissfully unaware of your valid panic or her phone was stolen. The chances of her not answering because something has happened are slim so don't focus on that.

Don't worry too much until a reasonable time for her to be awake. But give her a talking to when she gets back about the dangers and the worry because she didn't keep you updated.

The sleepover thing is to stay up very late. I limit those as much as possible. I must admit that is my worst nightmare finding they are nor were said they would be after a party. However, at least she is near your house and can get there quick once she is up. If it were something serious location may be unable. Hopefully she gets in touch soon. She will when she sees all your calls. Try to not tell her off but say you were concerned as you do not want her to lie about going out in the future.

I totally understand your worry but the worst scenario you are imagining, her having been taken somewhere is highly unlikely, someone who wanted to hurt her would've ditched the mobile phone. Much more likely that she's had a drink, gone somewhere voluntarily and they've ended up sleeping there. Not great and you have every right to be cross with her based on the agreed plan but that conversation can happen later. I don't think there's an immediate need to go banging on doors right now.

Who would be a mother, honestly! I think sometimes they just don't think. We were probably all a little bit the same at that age, but life seems so care free and is pretty hedonistic in the late teens.

I think from what you have said, its probably all fine-that's not to say she couldn't have been a bit more thoughtful to your worries-when she gets home, I would have a calm chat with her and honestly explain just how worried you have been and what agreement you can come to so you don't have to go through this again.

We have an 18 year old and I have had to make my peace with not knowing what he is up to or where he is; but we have some ground rules whilst he lives with us at least. The main things I have told mine is safety is number one concern-and all I ask is for them to make sure they are safe; and if plans change to let me know.

With a bit of luck she will wake up before you go out, check her phone and let you know she is OK x

Assuming everything is fine, I would be cautious about telling her she cant do/cant go etc if she is having a rebellious phase it will make her more likely to do it and not tell you-and you will be in the same situation again. (I know this is hard, we just want them to be safe)

It will be fine. You would be blissfully unaware if it wasn’t for life360.
She obviously doesn’t think she’s done anything wrong otherwise she’d have turned off the tracking.
most likely she (and probably her friend) decided to stay at someone else’s house. Do you know where the party was?

Apologies, should have read that properly.

Life360 isn’t always accurate on time, she could have left her phone somewhere or had it stolen - it’s not as straightforward as her ignoring you or definitely being somewhere else. Teens are notoriously self centred, I’d send her a message telling her to make contact by 8am latest as you are going out. Then hopefully you’ve got time to get her before you go out with your younger ones. You’ll have time later, when you feel calmer, to discuss rights and responsibilities with her so this doesn’t happen again.

There’s not much point calling her or the friend yet. They will be asleep and teens tend to have their phones on silent. I’d message and ask her to call me as soon as she wakes up.
can you see when she was last active on Snapchat?
what time is she supposed to be coming home today?

As you said - teens have been doing this sort of thing forever.

Difference is now they can be tracked!

That doesn't mean it's a bad thing (tracking) but equally doesn't mean it's not as innocent as when we went elsewhere.

She has made a choice to go elsewhere (likely after a few drinks).

It's more than likely she's fine.

As hard as it is we have to let the kids go just like our parents did and if by a small chance something has happened you can deal with it and she'll re reminded why lying about your whereabouts is never a good idea.

Same way we did if a situation occurred that meant admitting to our parents who hadn't tracked us we weren't where we'd said.

That's not blasé. It's the honest truth of a difficult situation. One none of us want to be in.

It says in the first post the OP has called her DD 20 times.

OP call your daughter directly.

Just as an aside, I wouldn't keep calling repeatedly in case her battery is getting low (and will make you worry more if you can't get through as it runs out)

Call her … tell her to get uber home

It’s 06:23. People will be asleep! I’m sure the friend would have raised the alarm of something was wrong. She’s probably sensibly got her phone on silent, I’d be a bit annoyed if my friend’s mum woke me at the crack of dawn after a night out partying.

At 17 if the agreement is that you can see where she is and she is not where she told you she would be then yes I would call and go and get her. Its not that she has stayed out it is that she has lied and that is the worry.

My teens rarely read what's app. Have you tried Snapchat?.I couldn't relax until I knew she was OK. You dh should be more sympathetic...

Chances are she's fast asleep. I also have a 17 year old and I would be concerned but I freely admit I'm a worrier. I'd leave a message asking her to call you as soon as she can then go about your day, you can see her location so if need be you can always go get her later if need be

Morning OP kids are such a worry even when they get to teens aren't they!

I am not familiar with Life 360 but from what you have said, its some kind of location tracking thing? Does it show you where she has been over a timeline?

Only you know how normal this would be for your teen-for me at her age, this would have been not a regular things but we did sometimes meet people on nights out and go back to theirs. Has she done this before?

When was she last active on whatsapp of she uses it?
Does she know friends in that area?

I think it very likely she is asleep.What time are you going out today and what time were you expecting her back today?

Always agreed a time home with my children and told them I'd call the police if they were 15 minutes late as I'd know they were in trouble if I didn't hear from them. They always let me know as they knew I meant it.