Wwyd - unknown teen wearabouts

Strange attitude! She’s 17, not 23.

"today's risks"

Statistically teens are safer now than ever.

But you keep fuelling the fire that bad things happen all the time to everyone.

You having done this, and nobody having been unsafe in your case, doesn't mean that it's normal behaviour for everyone or that some people won't end up unsafe though.

Rtft, she's tried

Whoa that escalated quickly.

OP doesn't know the exact address, organising a "search party" is a huge over reaction and will mortify her daughter-come on, its not even 8am!

Totally sympathetic to the worry-I have also tied myself in knots over teens whereabouts, but that is my cross to bear, on the balance of probabilities, she has got drunk, carried on partying with friends at someone's house and crashed on a sofa. She will wake up in the next couple of hours and probably check in very hungover and want a lift home.

You very clearly do not have teens. You have no idea of today’s risks.
At this point you are just embarrassing yourself.

@Nolegusta

As others have said, when I was a teen I routinely did this.

We'd go out, usually in the town I went to school in not the town where I lived. When it came to time to go home we'd usually go to one friend's whose mum was welcoming but sometimes if we couldn't get a taxi and had to walk we'd all crash at the closest friends.

If I'd told my mum in advance, I'd have said I'm sleeping at Helen's (because that was the plan) but then lack of taxi's meant we slept at Joan's.

So.., change of plans but nobody was unsafe.

My children are early twenties now. If they were out on a night out or a party then firstly I didn't track them (they kept it turned off most of the time as did I) and secondly no, it wouldn't bother me if they were at a different place from where they said they would be.

Either we'd have agreed a collection point (I'll collect you from the Costa near blah at 11am) or they'd say they'd be making their own way home by train and could I get them from the station.

(We lived very rurally and getting home by public transport wasn't really do able even in the daytime).

Glad I’m not the only one who has this front and centre in her mind.

Some teenage girl was sexually assaulted in a car park last week by a 23 year old, near us. It does happen. I just don’t want it happening to my daughter.

I agree regarding the tracking.
I do think the line between suffocating them and not bothering at all is often a tricky one though. If in doubt I'd rather be too concerted than not enough concerned tbh.

@Startinganew32 maybe you would but if I hadn't heard from her in all that time, I'd be worrying! As my post says, I ask for a good night I'm going to sleep now message.

@Petrasings I think you're spot on!

That’s me 🤚

She has Uber on her phone. She just has a terrible habit of running her battery down. She also passed out drunk at a Halloween party recently and woke up in a bed with 2 boys sat there. They were just checking she was OK but it could clearly not have been innocent, so is adding fuel to my anxiety.

If she has a couple of non-disastrous nights out maybe I will chill TF out. That would be nice 🫠

Without the tracking OP would have no idea. The tracking is intrusive and causing worry.

It is very unlikely that anything bad has happened to her child. The overwhelming likelihood is that she is safe, asleep at another friend's house.

"indifferent to their safety" aka not suffocating them.

It’s very likely indeed she’s gone to stay at another friends house, maybe even a boys house, and is perfectly safe and fine, but I understand the worry of knowing she’s not where she said she would be! Gosh the things we got away with back in the day before tracking eh.

I would carry on with your day out, but I would be seriously looking at your husbands behaviour. This is pretty normal teenage stuff and I’d be very upset if he thought ‘all hell breaking loose’ was a normal response to that. She’s your daughter, he doesn’t need to be so unreasonable about her imo.

The Liam Neeson comment had me cackling, sorry 🙊

Are you prone to overdramatics?

Calling 20 times is a bit OTT.
The likelihood is she’s fine, sleeping off a hangover somewhere.
its not even 8 am!
when my kinds were teenagers they rarely woke before 11 at weekends.

🤣 I do think some MNetters live in a a different universe sometimes.

Maybe the army should be called in, she went to a party good grief calm down and stop hyperventilating

Ummm are you completely discounting the number of young teens drugged, raped, sexually assaulted and murdered? Are you conveniently imagining that any loving parent would just shrug their shoulders and get on with their day?

On the off chance you are a parent with teens - and you are really this indifferent to their safety then god help them.

OP kindly, don’t be worrying about no one answering - it’s early! Give it a bit more time. She’ll be okay x

If she's gone somewhere else she should let her parents know.
Also, if a random person/child appeared at my house after a party I'd be telling them to send mum a quick text to let them know they're here.

Errr why would she at this hour? If she was staying at a friend’s she’d leave it to a reasonable time to check in on her.

Try beeping the find my phone function if she has an I phone. It’s much louder than calling, particularly if her phone is on silent.

Are you kidding? Oh my god. She went to a party. She was staying at a friend’s. She stayed at a different friend’s.

@Startinganew32 I think the tracking is a red herring. If she hadn't heard from her she'd also be calling her to check she's alive and ok.