Wwyd - unknown teen wearabouts

Op I am sure she is fine, but it is not unreasonable to check - at all. It’s not early now. Your friend is right.

As for the varying views. Many of these posts will be from young people themselves, checked out parents, and have different standards. You love your dd, and one day she will thank you for looking out for her. 💐

Fair enough if it works for you but I’m not sure it sends the best message.

True in part. But tomorrow is the only day she isn’t working (usually works retail every Saturday and Sunday but got a swap) and she does deserve to have a night out over the Christmas period as we are away for the week itself.

Ultimately, I’d rather be on hand if she needs a lift than see her struggling to get home from a capital city on one of the busiest weekends of the year for partygoers.

Yes, that probably makes me suffocating and/or a sap but I’d hardly enjoy myself for worry if I went out anyway. If she has a few successful nights out then I’m sure I’ll feel more chilled, I’m sure.

Okay OP that’s not fair on your husband if you go around painting him what he’s not. Do you overthink things a lot?

Please let us know when you’ve found her, I’m worried about her myself now. I’ve been there OP, teens cause us so much stress! We have “find my friend” on all our phones in our house, but it’s not always reliable or accurate.
Im interested in this “ping” thing posters are talking about, I didn’t know about that, I need to look it up.

Todays risks? There have always been risks - it’s not a new thing. Crime is going down not up yet people always think that it’s more dangerous to be alive in the present day than in the past and they’ve always thought that way. In the 90s, everyone was talking about today’s risks. And in the 00s and in the 10s. But now people look back on those decades and believe they were safer than today. It’s never ending.

amp.theguardian.com/society/2024/feb/17/toxic-online-culture-fuelling-rise-in-sexual-assualts-on-children-by-other-children-police-warn

I work in this field. It’s not so much that parents are ‘overreacting’ they are just responding to the climate we are finding ourselves in.

We have a major problem on our hands, and anyone that thinks otherwise perhaps needs to look at the facts in black and white.

Op has every reason to be concerned. I don’t blame her at all.

Gosh, you are rude. By whose authority are you sitting in judgement?

For your own sake OP, set a time in your mind that you would normally expect her to either be home or be in touch-what time would she get up after a night out if she was at home?

Resolve to wait until that time before worrying further or doing anything else.

I am not saying it is easy, I have been there.

Well not really since you sacrificed your own night out. She could’ve waited until a day you didn’t have plans you needed to cancel I’m sure.

I think you’re right. I think as well them having friends that you can trust to not leave them / message you if needed is key too.

I did - this is her first night out since Halloween.

Hell would freeze over before I cancelled my own plans to pick them up. I know mums like that who have subsumed their own lives to run after teens <shudder>. Sleepover or get an uber I have my own life to live.

Our DDs sound similar - very grown up looking but not very worldly wise and lacks a healthy dose of common sense (e.g. she thinks the trains will be running at 2am and that’s how she will get to her friends house 🙈🙈)

She’s out tonight, I’m secretly praying she won’t get in anywhere but I know that’s not the answer to me (perfectly reasonable imo) worrying.

If I can see she’s back at her friends house tonight, I will chill out. But I will be on pins until that point 😢

What??
As a neighbour it's none of you business
Is there something in the water this morning?

Without wishing to add to ops worry but to answer the point. We are just about to introduce a new law in this country to address the issue of young people being spiked - which is now at record levels.

inews.co.uk/news/children-teens-spiked-vapes-drinks-3230589?srsltid=AfmBOooLD0ITMlPSWaWE1SpYcf1IZTcxVFPgjU0rueniZMZAgYhwCQ3s

Um.

I think we are getting off track a bit.

There are things teens and parents can do to try to help keep them safe.

One of my teens learnt a martial art. When I was early twenties I was given a rape alarm by my uni as part of freshers week and advised to carry it around.

The most important is probably to go out with a group and stay with the group and look after each other.

I do think that at some point most teens go to at least one party. It is reasonably normal (late) teen behaviour to start going out and drinking.

This is key - making sure they let you know where they are (and possibly who they're with), even if plans change.

I feel for you. Give me wrangling a toddler into a car seat any day rather than a teenager going out. I'm sure everything will be okay.

Liam Neeson 😀😀😀

Not sure what I would do actually.

It’s not easy parenting this age. I do find the tracking helpful as dd2 aged 16 is a party girl with a million friends and roams around and has done for a few years. I didn’t bother tracking with dd1 who is a sensible sort. It’s reassuring to me to see dd2 is at friend x or friend y house so I don’t need to trouble her. I know some people are anti tracking but they are usually the ones with toddlers or homebody sensible teens. Walk in our shoes!

Maybe she should’ve cancelled her night out then, not you? You know. Actions. Consequences. That old thing.

Are teens really 'safer than ever'?

My teen regularly changes her plan, mind, places, parties but always communicates and lets us know. For her OWN safety as much as anything else. It’s not the olden days mow, and with spiking at record levels, yes they do have to be careful.